Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season...

In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned...

- ...that when someone says, "Did you hear the one about the Cleveland Browns, Oakland Raiders, Jacksonville Jaguars, Washington Redskins, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers winning on the same day?," it's no longer just a joke.

- ...that Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson may soon alter the title of the song "Awesome God" to "Fickle God."

- ...that New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin and Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll made this preseason bet with one another: "I bet you a year's salary I can get my team to blow 4th quarter leads in every game this season!"

- ...Aaron Rodgers doesn't believe it's part of God's plan for me to write this sentence.

- ...Cam Newton will likely retire at the end of the season to break the world record for largest gymnast.

- ...Philadelphia Eagles tailback DeMarco Murray has lowered his season goal to 100 rushing yards.

- ...,whether he's in the game or sidelined for a couple weeks with a hamstring injury, no one can tell the difference from looking at Jay Cutler's facial expression.

- ...Rex Ryan's coaching career will likely end when he simultaneously punches Bill Belichick in the face and kicks Tom Brady in the deflated-balls.

- ..., after losing DeMarco Murray to free agency, as well as Dez Bryant and Tony Romo to injury, naive Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is thinking, "We're exactly where we want to be."

- ...die-hard Chicago Bears fans from the past have gone from enthusiastically shouting "Da Bears" to nonchalantly mumbling "Da, eh, whatevers."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"