When I saw the trending hashtag #SaferThanATrumpRally on Twitter yesterday, my eyes largened, I licked my chops, and was ready to let my crazy (in a good way, of course) mind get to work! Here are the many such tweets I posted over the course of the past 24 hours, listed from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) An alien invasion led by Florida Governor Rick Scott
#SaferThanATrumpRally
38 Likes, 16 Retweets
2) Wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt at a KKK rally
#SaferThanATrumpRally #NevermindThatIsATrumpRally
33 Likes, 17 Retweets
3) Turning right at the Indy 500
#SaferThanATrumpRally
37 Likes, 12 Retweets
4) Fact-checking your spouse during a heated debate
#SaferThanATrumpRally
31 Likes, 12 Retweets
5) Singing Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" to your fiancè/fiancèe in the company of his/her parents, both of whom are pastors
#SaferThanATrumpRally
27 Likes, 15 Retweets
6) Taking a bull by the horns, literally...
#SaferThanATrumpRally
22 Likes, 7 Retweets
7) Quail hunting with Dick Cheney
#SaferThanATrumpRally
16 Likes, 7 Retweets
7) Getting into a knife fight, suffering several cuts in the process, & then deciding to swim with great white sharks
#SaferThanATrumpRally
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
9) Juggling machetes after smoking a bong with Willie Nelson and doing several Three Wise Men shots
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 10 Retweets
9) Drinking and driving on the Autobahn
#SaferThanATrumpRally
15 Likes, 6 Retweets
11) Going headfirst on a Slip'N Slide down a hill toward an interstate during rush hour
#SaferThanATrumpRally
13 Likes, 7 Retweets
11) Saying yes when asked by Hannibal Lecter if you'd like to grab a bite to eat sometime
#SaferThanATrumpRally
14 Likes, 6 Retweets
13) Dressing up like Robin and telling both Batman and Superman they're pansies
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 8 Retweets
13) Bar-hopping with Nick Nolte, Charlie Sheen, and Gary Busey
#SaferThanATrumpRally
12 Likes, 7 Retweets
15) A drunken Old West shootout reenactment
#SaferThanATrumpRally
12 Likes, 5 Retweets
16) Challenging King Kong to a thumb war
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 5 Retweets
17) Daring Mike Tyson to bite someone's ear
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 6 Retweets
17) Playing pat-a-cake with a grizzly bear named Dahmer
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Giving a speech at the RNC about how increased healthcare is good while guns in violent people's hands is bad
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 7 Retweets
19) Fight Club
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 5 Retweets
19) Dressing like a "wascally wabbit" and walking around an Elmer Fudd hunting ranch
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Asking Godzilla to smell his breath
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Asking a woman wearing boxing gloves, "So, is it that time of the month or something?"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Dressing up like a piñata on Cinco de Mayo and walking into a bar called We Like Beer, Baseball Bats, and Candy
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 2 Retweets
25) A Rush Limbaugh/Newt Gingrich/Donald Trump marriage
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
25) Drunken 2 am White Castle/Taco Bell runs
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
25) Broken condoms when she's ovulating
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) Telling a male model/bodybuilder, "You remind me of someone. Who is that? Oh yeah, Shrek!"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 4 Retweets
28) Patterning one's life after Wile E. Coyote
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
28) Signing a contract penned by Christian Grey
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 1 Retweet
31) Playing the game Twister with three sumo wrestlers
#SaferThanATrumpRally
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
31) Asking an angry cop toward the end of the month for some donuts
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 1 Retweet
33) Smart-car racing in blizzard conditions
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 4 Retweets
33) "Cow-tipping" elephants
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 3 Retweets
33) Attending a Ben Carson hammer-throwing lecture
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
33) Responding to your best friend's Facebook selfies with a sad or angry emoji
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
33) Telling coked-out Oompa Loompas they look like Trump
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 0 Retweets
38) Crash test dummies
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 3 Retweets
38) Howling in Wolf Blitzer's face during a full moon
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 2 Retweets
38) Altering the game Pin the Tail On the Donkey to Pin the Tail On the Lion - an actual lion
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 2 Retweets
38) Joining the Griswolds on a family vacation to Syria
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 5 Retweet
38) Climbing Trump's "big beautiful" wall
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 1 Retweet
38) Touching Donald Trump's hair before taking a rabies shot
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 4 Retweet
38) Calling Jack Bauer a pussy to his face while he's on steroids and going through a nic-fit
#SaferThanATrumpRally
7 Likes, 0 Retweets
45) Singing "Under the Bridge" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water" at a Chris Christie karaoke bash with his mob on hand
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 1 Retweet
45) Constantly quoting George W. Bush at a Mensa meeting
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 1 Retweet
45) Telling Dark Helmet his "schwartz" is the size of one of Trump's fingers
#SaferThanATrumpRally #Spaceballs
6 Likes, 0 Retweets
48) High-heeled figure skating
#SaferThanATrumpRally
1 Likes, 4 Retweets
48) Angering Bob Barker on a golf course (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QJiAK-s5a0 …)
#SaferThanATrumpRally
3 Likes, 2 Retweets
48) Telling Liam Neeson, "You may have a particular set of skills, but they're crap compared to mine!"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
48) Kids playing a game of cops and robbers with fully loaded AK-47s
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
52) Moonwalk hurdling
#SaferThanATrumpRally
3 Likes, 1 Retweet
52) Trying to replicate a world in which David Lynch or Terry Gilliam envisioned
#SaferThanATrumpRally
0 Likes, 4 Retweets
52) Literally blowing smoke up someone's ass
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 0 Retweets
55) Dinner consisting of Trump Steaks and Trump Vodka
#SaferThanATrumpRally (but not by much)
4 Like, 0 Retweets
1) An alien invasion led by Florida Governor Rick Scott
#SaferThanATrumpRally
38 Likes, 16 Retweets
2) Wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt at a KKK rally
#SaferThanATrumpRally #NevermindThatIsATrumpRally
33 Likes, 17 Retweets
3) Turning right at the Indy 500
#SaferThanATrumpRally
37 Likes, 12 Retweets
4) Fact-checking your spouse during a heated debate
#SaferThanATrumpRally
31 Likes, 12 Retweets
5) Singing Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" to your fiancè/fiancèe in the company of his/her parents, both of whom are pastors
#SaferThanATrumpRally
27 Likes, 15 Retweets
6) Taking a bull by the horns, literally...
#SaferThanATrumpRally
22 Likes, 7 Retweets
7) Quail hunting with Dick Cheney
#SaferThanATrumpRally
16 Likes, 7 Retweets
7) Getting into a knife fight, suffering several cuts in the process, & then deciding to swim with great white sharks
#SaferThanATrumpRally
18 Likes, 5 Retweets
9) Juggling machetes after smoking a bong with Willie Nelson and doing several Three Wise Men shots
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 10 Retweets
9) Drinking and driving on the Autobahn
#SaferThanATrumpRally
15 Likes, 6 Retweets
11) Going headfirst on a Slip'N Slide down a hill toward an interstate during rush hour
#SaferThanATrumpRally
13 Likes, 7 Retweets
11) Saying yes when asked by Hannibal Lecter if you'd like to grab a bite to eat sometime
#SaferThanATrumpRally
14 Likes, 6 Retweets
13) Dressing up like Robin and telling both Batman and Superman they're pansies
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 8 Retweets
13) Bar-hopping with Nick Nolte, Charlie Sheen, and Gary Busey
#SaferThanATrumpRally
12 Likes, 7 Retweets
15) A drunken Old West shootout reenactment
#SaferThanATrumpRally
12 Likes, 5 Retweets
16) Challenging King Kong to a thumb war
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 5 Retweets
17) Daring Mike Tyson to bite someone's ear
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 6 Retweets
17) Playing pat-a-cake with a grizzly bear named Dahmer
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Giving a speech at the RNC about how increased healthcare is good while guns in violent people's hands is bad
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 7 Retweets
19) Fight Club
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 5 Retweets
19) Dressing like a "wascally wabbit" and walking around an Elmer Fudd hunting ranch
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Asking Godzilla to smell his breath
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 4 Retweets
19) Asking a woman wearing boxing gloves, "So, is it that time of the month or something?"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 3 Retweets
19) Dressing up like a piñata on Cinco de Mayo and walking into a bar called We Like Beer, Baseball Bats, and Candy
#SaferThanATrumpRally
11 Likes, 2 Retweets
25) A Rush Limbaugh/Newt Gingrich/Donald Trump marriage
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
25) Drunken 2 am White Castle/Taco Bell runs
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
25) Broken condoms when she's ovulating
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
28) Telling a male model/bodybuilder, "You remind me of someone. Who is that? Oh yeah, Shrek!"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 4 Retweets
28) Patterning one's life after Wile E. Coyote
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
28) Signing a contract penned by Christian Grey
#SaferThanATrumpRally
9 Likes, 1 Retweet
31) Playing the game Twister with three sumo wrestlers
#SaferThanATrumpRally
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
31) Asking an angry cop toward the end of the month for some donuts
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 1 Retweet
33) Smart-car racing in blizzard conditions
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 4 Retweets
33) "Cow-tipping" elephants
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 3 Retweets
33) Attending a Ben Carson hammer-throwing lecture
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
33) Responding to your best friend's Facebook selfies with a sad or angry emoji
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
33) Telling coked-out Oompa Loompas they look like Trump
#SaferThanATrumpRally
8 Likes, 0 Retweets
38) Crash test dummies
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 3 Retweets
38) Howling in Wolf Blitzer's face during a full moon
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 2 Retweets
38) Altering the game Pin the Tail On the Donkey to Pin the Tail On the Lion - an actual lion
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 2 Retweets
38) Joining the Griswolds on a family vacation to Syria
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 5 Retweet
38) Climbing Trump's "big beautiful" wall
#SaferThanATrumpRally
6 Likes, 1 Retweet
38) Touching Donald Trump's hair before taking a rabies shot
#SaferThanATrumpRally
10 Likes, 4 Retweet
38) Calling Jack Bauer a pussy to his face while he's on steroids and going through a nic-fit
#SaferThanATrumpRally
7 Likes, 0 Retweets
45) Singing "Under the Bridge" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water" at a Chris Christie karaoke bash with his mob on hand
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 1 Retweet
45) Constantly quoting George W. Bush at a Mensa meeting
#SaferThanATrumpRally
5 Likes, 1 Retweet
45) Telling Dark Helmet his "schwartz" is the size of one of Trump's fingers
#SaferThanATrumpRally #Spaceballs
6 Likes, 0 Retweets
48) High-heeled figure skating
#SaferThanATrumpRally
1 Likes, 4 Retweets
48) Angering Bob Barker on a golf course (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QJiAK-s5a0 …)
#SaferThanATrumpRally
3 Likes, 2 Retweets
48) Telling Liam Neeson, "You may have a particular set of skills, but they're crap compared to mine!"
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
48) Kids playing a game of cops and robbers with fully loaded AK-47s
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 1 Retweet
52) Moonwalk hurdling
#SaferThanATrumpRally
3 Likes, 1 Retweet
52) Trying to replicate a world in which David Lynch or Terry Gilliam envisioned
#SaferThanATrumpRally
0 Likes, 4 Retweets
52) Literally blowing smoke up someone's ass
#SaferThanATrumpRally
4 Likes, 0 Retweets
55) Dinner consisting of Trump Steaks and Trump Vodka
#SaferThanATrumpRally (but not by much)
4 Like, 0 Retweets
Totals: 559 Likes, 234 Retweets (Averages of 10.2 Likes, 4.3 Retweets)
Comments
Post a Comment