Skip to main content

According to Ted Cruz, there's no ring like a basketball ring...

As most people know, Indiana and basketball go together like Jared Fogle and Bill Cosby. Texas Senator Ted Cruz tried winning over residents of the Hoosier state by recreating a scene from the classic film by the same name (Hoosiers), but failed miserably.

During his speech, Cruz said, "You know, the amazing thing is that basketball ring here in Indiana, it's the same height as it is in New York City and every other place in the country."

That's right, Ted Cruz referred to a basketball hoop as a basketball ring. Going by that line of thinking, the Texas senator once gave his wife a wedding hoop. Given his obvious vast knowledge of sports, expect him to utter the following lines in the future:

- "I love baseball, especially the over-the-wall ball. It's amazing how far those guys can hit those things!"

- "When the Patriots kicker kicked the ball through those giant yellow chopsticks to win the game, that was awesome!"

- "Why don't they have balls in hockey? Why must they play with a small hard sliding frisbee? Makes no sense!"

- "It only took me three shots to get my first hole-in-one."

- "I absolutely love March Madness! When's that start again? October?"

- "Soccer's a lot of fun, especially when you grab the ball with your hands & just start running toward the end thingy."

- "My wife tried teaching me curling one time and I said, 'There's no way I'm doing that to my hair!'"

- "Whenever I do the bowling & someone asks what my scores were, I just tell them my PIN number."

- "I don't care what anyone says, drag racer men should not be allowed in the women's bathrooms! Period!"

- "The only thing I don't like about basketball is the free throw. Automatic points are not right! That's socialism!"

http://fox59.com/2016/04/27/so-much-hoopla-ted-cruzs-basketball-ring-gaffe-irks-hoosiers/
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more