Skip to main content

Donald Trump celebrates National High Five Day

At a New York City town hall on Thursday, Donald Trump celebrated National High Five Day by high-fiving a supporter's 5-year-old boy, Stubby McSnots, after vaguely answering her question about whether or not North Korea was north or south of South Korea. When Trump hunched over and stuck out his right hand to be slapped by the boy, due to the size of the GOP front-runner's hands, Stubby reached out with two fingers in order to complete the process. When I later asked Stubby why he did that, here's how he responded:

"He has tiny hands. They're the size of my matchbox smart cars. I was gonna ask if he wanted to do a thumb-war, but that wouldn't have been fair, since my thumb is the size of his hand, you know?"

After getting relentlessly mocked about the incident on Twitter, Trump released the following statement:

"Look, you can all have your fun, but we all know that cameras add five pounds to kids' hands and take away five pounds from my hands. It's science, people. Speaking of science, I know a guy who knows a guy who had this friend who had a third cousin who did this study one time which said the smaller one's hands appear on camera, the bigger one's sausage is, if you know what I mean. They don't call me little smoky for nothing, folks. It's yuuuge!"

In light of this incident, anti-Trump protesters nationwide now provide one another with the peace sign to symbolize giving the GOP front-runner a high-five.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more