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Ted Cruz wrote erotic fiction in a past life

After his crushing loss in the New York primary on Tuesday night, Texas Senator Ted Cruz decided to take the loss in the following fashion during a speech in Philadelphia:

"Your choices to govern your work, your education, your future, if only Washington will get out of the way. Join me now, on this journey of less talk and more action, real solutions. Because I know you you may have been knocked down, but America's always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat and the crowd has given the final count. It is time for us as a nation to get up, to shake it off and be who we were destined to be. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise."

Yes, it appears Ted Cruz wrote erotic fiction in a former life. Based on this quote, I'm guessing Senator Cruz has written the following lines in an erotic novel he's been working on since college, likely titled, Making America My Bitch:

- "America's always been best when she is twerking to a Kenny G song in front of my face on Independence Day."

- "America's always been best when she is wearing a two-piece in sub-zero temperatures and is nipping harder than I do when reading Dr. Seuss to Congress."

- "America's always been best when she is completely naked, herpes-free, and offers me a special birthday discount, like last year."

- "America's always been best when she is spreading her legs wide and saying, 'Hey you over there, come hither.'"

- "America's always been best when she is lying down with her back on the mat and screaming, 'Get in the hole!'"

http://jezebel.com/ted-cruz-says-america-is-best-when-she-is-lying-down-w-1771947534
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