As long as there's "Family Guy," Republicans will lose elections! ...so says Bill Whittle...

Speaking at the Koch brother-funded Right Online conference this past weekend, conservative blogger Bill Whittle said this:

"Any audience of people that grew up with classical Superman automatically love this country, because Superman is about the best America we can be. When Superman was all over the pop culture, we were a nation that loved this country. Now, twenty years after the peak of Superman's popularity, along comes Gilligan's Island. That's pretty neutral in terms of politics. Really about the only message you can get from Gilligan's Island is if you want to get off the island all you have to do is kill Gilligan.

But if you're a young person out there today and you can finish the theme song from Family Guy, then all the anti-American, anti-capitalist, anti-Christian, anti-morality messages of Family Guy are in your head as completely and thoroughly as that theme song is.

You're programmed by the pop culture, you're programmed by story. It's all about stories, and if we're the villain in all of the stories that are told we're never going to win another election."

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Election results aren't reflective of the public simply agreeing with a party's ideas, principles, and policy positions more than the other's. They're reflective of what pop culture has brainwashed us to believe! Since Family Guy started airing in 1999, Republicans are 2-2 in presidential elections. Let's break these elections down, shall we?

2000 - Gore won the popular vote because of Family Guy, but the Supreme Court got the final word on the electoral vote, handing the election to Bush, because it was the morally right thing to to do...or something...

2004 - Bush beat Kerry because Americans were still scared after the 9/11 attacks and fear is very moral and American.

2008 - Obama defeated McCain, not because of the recession happening under a Republican president and Sarah Palin trying to put the deer-in-headlights look in style, but because of Family Guy.

2012 - Obama beat Romney because Mitt said 47% of the country was pretty much worthless. Oh, no, I'm hearing this too was because of Family Guy.

In Bill Whittle's delusional little mind, I'm sure he could see the following answers displayed in a round of Family Feud:

Question: "Why did Republicans lose the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections?"

Answers:

5. Couldn't relate to most people

4. Were more about religious principles than how to move the country forward

3. Seemed to only care about the rich

2. Came across as discriminatory toward women, minorities, and gays

1. The TV show Family Guy

Feel free to believe that, Mr. Whittle. The longer you and the Republican Party are in denial about why you lost the previous two presidential elections, the more likely it is you'll lose the next one.

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Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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