Skip to main content

Blind people with guns? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea...

While it's perfectly understandable for people to sympathize with those whom are blind, how would we feel if such a person was our cab driver or pilot? For as much sympathy as we might have for them, I'm guessing that sympathy would transform into fear. How about if we saw a blind person carrying around a gun and even firing the weapon? While there's no chance a blind person would legally be permitted to operate an automobile or plane due to a required vision test, the state of Iowa has just granted blind people permits to acquire and carry guns in public. Yes, you read that correctly. If you couldn't read that, never fear, for if you live in Iowa, you'll be able to acquire and carry a firearm.

Supporters of the permits had some chuckle-worthy quotes for The Des Moines Register.

Cedar County Sheriff Warren Wethington, who has a blind daughter, said: "If sheriffs spent more time trying to keep guns out of criminals' hands and not people with disabilities, their time would be more productive."

Off-the-record, he likely said, "If sheriffs spent more time trying to keep drunks from driving and not blind people, their time would be more productive."

Chris Danielsen, director of public relations for the National Federation of the Blind, said this:

"There's no reason solely on the (basis) of blindness that a blind person shouldn't be allowed to carry a weapon. Presumably they're going to have enough sense not to use a weapon in a situation where they would endanger other people, just like we would expect other people to have that common sense."

I'd think it would be common sense for a person who can't see to not be carrying around a deadly weapon. As Delaware Sheriff John LeClere said, "At what point do vision problems have a detrimental effect to fire a firearm? If you see nothing but a blurry mass in front of you, then I would say you probably shouldn't be shooting something."

Die-hard gun rights advocates have gone so cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Pat Robertson may even be saying, "Whoa... Now that sounds just a little bit too crazy."

To help outline just how crazy this idea is, here are a few made-up scenarios concocted by my only slightly crazy mind:

Situation: Firearms training

Instructor Mike Haveshrunken: "Ready?"

Blind people: "Yeah!"

Haveshrunken: "Aim!"

Blind people: "Where?"

Haveshunken: "I said aim!"

Blind people: "Where?"

Haveshrunken: "Whatever! Fire!"

Blind people: ::shoots::

::silence::

Blind person: "Mr. Haveshrunken? Are you there? Hello?"

Haveshrunken: "I didn't say shoot me, you dam* fools! What, are you all blind or something? Come over here and get me some help!"

Blind person: "Where are you?"

Haveshrunken: "Oh, God. I'm so screwed..."


Situation: Hunting with Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney: ::does a few shots of Whiskey:: "Alright, I'm ready. How about you?"

Jorge Pimpjuice: "I'm just about ready. I just need to find my gun."

Cheney: "Want me to find it for you? You being blind and all?"

Pimpjuice: "Aren't you drunk?"

Cheney: "Oh, I'm getting there, but I think I can manage to do this much."

Pimpjuice: "Then, yeah, sure."

::loud thumping noise::

Pimpjuice: "What was that?"

Cheney: "Oh, nothing. I just tripped over something. I'll be alright. Here you are." ::hands Jorge his gun::

Pimpjuice: "Okay, let's do this!"

::they head out to the woods::

Cheney: "Okay, I see some birds up there. I think that's what they are. There may only be one, but I see several."

Pimpjuice: "Why do I feel something near my face?"

Cheney: "Why do I feel something near my face?"

Pimpjuice: "I thought that's where the birds were."

Cheney: "Well, me too. On the count of three, let's fire." ::pause::  "1...2...3..."

::both men fire their guns::

Cheney: "Ow! Why'd you shoot me in the face?"

Pimpjuice: "I'm blind! Why'd you shoot me in the face?"

Cheney: "I thought you looked like a bird."

Pimpjuice: "What the hell were you drinking?"

Cheney: "I don't know. Whatever it was, it was pretty darn good. I smoked something too. Alright, well, we're going to have some trouble getting out of here without some help. Let me call my good friend Ted Nugent and he'll swing on by."

Pimpjuice: "Ted Nugent? Really? He'll help?"

Cheney: "Sure. He might get jealous upon seeing us and shoot himself in the face, but at least we'll have some more company."


Situation: Police chasing a murderer

Lieutenant Marcus Slaughter: "Come on, Sergeant! Follow me! Take your gun this time!"

Sergeant Michael Inosee: "Where are we?"

Slaughter: "Come on, Inosee! I know you're blind and all, but we're after a major killer here! Let's take this a little more seriously! Let your dog be your guide. He'll know to follow me."

Inosee: "Okay. Come on, Lucky. Let's go! Follow Mr. Slaughter!"

::they all begin running::

Slaughter: "Oh no! Sergeant - he's right behind you! Shoot him!"

Inosee: ::fires his gun, a woman makes a noise::

Slaughter: "Not directly behind you! You just shot Mrs. Spreadeagle! Looks like you won't be getting any for a while!"

Inosee: "Crap! Where is he?"

Slaughter: "He's going the other way! Let's get him!"

Inosee: "Oh no! Lucky got away!"

Slaughter: "I don't care! Keep running!"

Inosee: "Okay. By the way, sorry Mrs. Spreadeagle! I hope to see you again tonight."

Spreadeagle: "Oh, blow me!"

Inosee: "I thought that's what I was paying you for..."

Spreadeagle: ::flips him off::

Inosee: "Fine, don't say anything. Okay, lieutenant, I'm on my way!"

::runs into a light post, falls down, and Lieutenant Slaughter trips over him::

Slaughter: "Goddam*it, Sergeant! He's gotten away!"

Inosee: "Lucky? Yeah, I know. I hope he finds a good home and family."

Slaughter: "No, you idiot! The killer! This isn't looking good! This isn't looking good at all!"

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20130908/NEWS/309080061/Iowa-grants-permits-for-blind-residents-to-carry-guns-in-public?Frontpage&gcheck=1

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"