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What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL regular season

- Style points may not matter when a team is winning football games in the NFL, but for as awful as the 2-0 New England Patriots have looked through two weeks, they better start looking better or else they'll start racking up L's to the point where Tom Brady will lose his voice and have to communicate with his team via sign language.

- Chip Kelly may want to remember that the goal in NFL football games isn't to score as many points as possible in 20 minutes. It's to win over 60 minutes. Sure, scoring 30 points in 20 minutes is impressive, but not as impressive as scoring 33 in 40 minutes when the opposing team only scored 30 in 20 minutes.

- Betting against Seattle at home is like betting against a drunk guy singing "Don't Stop Believin'" at a bar's weekly Friday night karaoke bash.

- Peyton Manning has his little brother's number - both figuratively and literally.

- No matter how much talent or money they have, the Dallas Cowboys can't help but be a .500 team.

- While Andrew Luck has improved in his second year as a starting quarterback, the Indianapolis Colts still aren't that good - no matter how many tweets owner Jim Irsay rattles off claiming otherwise.

 - RGIII may have wanted to guarantee being ready for game 3 or 4 with the way the first two have gone. If that strategy fails, maybe he should make the guarantee for the first game of the 2014 season.

 - Eli Manning and Drew Brees may be competing for the interception king crown this year. Eli has the early lead.

 - Houston may want to cut it out with their trend of winning games via miracle endings. During their first two games, Tim Tebow is even rumored to have shouted out, "No f**king way!"

- If the Lions don't make the playoffs, Detroit's patience for head coach Jim Schwartz may have run out, much like George W. Bush's elementary school English teachers.

- Jacksonville may not suit up for the rest of the year and spend game-time laying on a beach somewhere in Florida.

- With the explosive offenses and horrendous defenses, the NFC East is starting to look like the Pac-12.

- Joe Flacco is grateful this isn't a contract year and is laughing his way to the bank, saying, "Ha-ha, suckers!"

- With Tom Coughlin and his New York Giants at 0-2, this can mean only one thing - sports-writers will call the Giants' season over, Coughlin will get pissed, and the Giants will wind up making the playoffs - that or Coughlin will transform into Mister Rogers and Armageddon will be upon us.

- Jay Cutler may replace Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street when his career is over.

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