Ever know a person who can seemingly only talk about one thing? They have a one-track mind, as the phrase goes? Like Fox News with Benghazi? Well, I know such a person, and while I love him dearly, it can be a bit too much at times.
With this person, it often times feels as if he's playing a game called the Two Degrees of Beer. Regardless of what another person is talking about, he will find a way to connect it to beer and let everyone know about it.
Jerry Gemini: "So, did you see the game last night?"
Bobby Beerman: "Yeah, I went to a game one time where beers cost $10 a piece!"
Trisha Triceratops: "Did you like the movie?"
Bobby Beerman: "Yeah, did you see the beer that guy was drinking? I have to try that! Let's go to a bar and see if they've got it!"
Mama Beerman: "So, how was your big date?"
Bobby Beerman: "Well, the beer was good."
Not long ago, another person asked me about my writing. I briefly mentioned my blog, when Bobby Beerman decided to say this: "Some people can make a lot of money off blogs. I know this guy who writes a beer blog who does quite well for himself."
After enduring this for quite a while, I had to chuckle some. Beer books, beer movies, beer shirts, restaurants with the word beer in their titles, and just plain beer - it's all about the beer!
In experiencing a person with a one-track mind on beer, I have to wonder what it would be like to be associated with a guy who only thought about sex. I know many women have said, "Guys only think about one thing - sex!," but I've yet to actually encounter such a guy. I envision a conversation with him would go something like this:
Jessica Candy: "Did you have fun at that party the other night?"
Theodore Cialis: "Not really. There were so many chicks I wanted to bone there and I didn't get nothin'!"
Jessica: "That sucks. Do you wanna get something to eat?"
Theodore: "Speaking of sucks... and eat..."
Jessica: "Wait, what? Do you want to go out and get something to eat?"
Theodore: "Yeah, you"
Jessica: "Oh, Teddy! You're funny."
Theodore: "I wasn't joking. I'm ready if you are."
Jessica: "Ready to eat?"
Theodore: "Oh yeah! Undo those pants!"
Jessica: "I'm getting hungry, Teddy. Do you want to go out and eat or not?"
Theodore: "I've got all I need right here. Come here, baby."
Jessica: "That's enough, Theodore! It's not funny anymore!"
Theodore: "Fine, I'll take my services elsewhere. I'm sure I can find an all-you-can-eat buffet somewhere around here."
Jessica: "That's where I'm going to go! Would you care to join me?"
Theodore: "Not unless you're one of the options."
Jessica: "God, you're sick! I think you should leave!"
Theodore: "You know what leave rhymes with? Cleave - like, show me your cleavage."
Jessica: "Ugh!"
Theodore: "That's hot! I love it when you do that! Do that again!"
Jessica: ::stops talking and pushes Theodore out the door::
Theodore: ::yells:: "I love it when you do that! Are you as turned on as I am?" ::tries opening the door:: "Wait, did you lock me out? Come on! Don't tease me like this! This door's made of wood and it's what I've got going on for you, baby! Come and get it!" ::long pause:: "Jessica? Jessica?" ::sees another woman walk by him and faces her:: "Hey baby. Are you hungry?"
With this person, it often times feels as if he's playing a game called the Two Degrees of Beer. Regardless of what another person is talking about, he will find a way to connect it to beer and let everyone know about it.
Jerry Gemini: "So, did you see the game last night?"
Bobby Beerman: "Yeah, I went to a game one time where beers cost $10 a piece!"
Trisha Triceratops: "Did you like the movie?"
Bobby Beerman: "Yeah, did you see the beer that guy was drinking? I have to try that! Let's go to a bar and see if they've got it!"
Mama Beerman: "So, how was your big date?"
Bobby Beerman: "Well, the beer was good."
Not long ago, another person asked me about my writing. I briefly mentioned my blog, when Bobby Beerman decided to say this: "Some people can make a lot of money off blogs. I know this guy who writes a beer blog who does quite well for himself."
After enduring this for quite a while, I had to chuckle some. Beer books, beer movies, beer shirts, restaurants with the word beer in their titles, and just plain beer - it's all about the beer!
In experiencing a person with a one-track mind on beer, I have to wonder what it would be like to be associated with a guy who only thought about sex. I know many women have said, "Guys only think about one thing - sex!," but I've yet to actually encounter such a guy. I envision a conversation with him would go something like this:
Jessica Candy: "Did you have fun at that party the other night?"
Theodore Cialis: "Not really. There were so many chicks I wanted to bone there and I didn't get nothin'!"
Jessica: "That sucks. Do you wanna get something to eat?"
Theodore: "Speaking of sucks... and eat..."
Jessica: "Wait, what? Do you want to go out and get something to eat?"
Theodore: "Yeah, you"
Jessica: "Oh, Teddy! You're funny."
Theodore: "I wasn't joking. I'm ready if you are."
Jessica: "Ready to eat?"
Theodore: "Oh yeah! Undo those pants!"
Jessica: "I'm getting hungry, Teddy. Do you want to go out and eat or not?"
Theodore: "I've got all I need right here. Come here, baby."
Jessica: "That's enough, Theodore! It's not funny anymore!"
Theodore: "Fine, I'll take my services elsewhere. I'm sure I can find an all-you-can-eat buffet somewhere around here."
Jessica: "That's where I'm going to go! Would you care to join me?"
Theodore: "Not unless you're one of the options."
Jessica: "God, you're sick! I think you should leave!"
Theodore: "You know what leave rhymes with? Cleave - like, show me your cleavage."
Jessica: "Ugh!"
Theodore: "That's hot! I love it when you do that! Do that again!"
Jessica: ::stops talking and pushes Theodore out the door::
Theodore: ::yells:: "I love it when you do that! Are you as turned on as I am?" ::tries opening the door:: "Wait, did you lock me out? Come on! Don't tease me like this! This door's made of wood and it's what I've got going on for you, baby! Come and get it!" ::long pause:: "Jessica? Jessica?" ::sees another woman walk by him and faces her:: "Hey baby. Are you hungry?"
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