"The Saturday after Thanksgiving"

When we make plans with people, does our interpretation of language with regard to time alter based on what part of the country we reside?

Just yesterday, I, who am originally from Nebraska, was making tentative plans with someone, who has always lived in Ohio. She's back in school, has already reached the burnt-out stage, and said, "The Saturday after Thanksgiving (when finals are over), we're going out and getting plastered!"

I laughed, and said, "Sure, sure. That sounds like fun," before thinking about what she just said and realizing I'll have family in town Thanksgiving weekend (Wednesday through Sunday), so I had to ask, "Wait, which Saturday is this? You said the Saturday after Thanksgiving, right? If it's THAT Saturday, I'll have family in town, so it might need to be the following weekend, if that's okay..."

She chuckled and said, "Oh, that's right - you're a Nebraskan. I'm not talking about the Saturday over Thanksgiving weekend, but that next Saturday." She then teased me about being technical and precise.

I then asked my mother, "Okay, this is a random question, but if you were making plans with someone, and he or she said, 'We should do something the Saturday after Thanksgiving, what day would you think he or she was talking about exactly?"

She paused, before saying, "Uh, two days after Thanksgiving."

I then laughed, told her the story which prompted me to ask her the question in the first place and said, "Ah, well, I'm glad to know it's not just me then."

She chuckled, and then said, "No - maybe Ohioans are special or something."

I've always been very technical and precise, sometimes in order to be a smart aleck and other times because I just like giving people the clearest image possible, so it minimizes the risk of a misunderstanding. Whether I'm technical and precise or not, however, I have a hard time understanding how, when told I should do something with another the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I should know to take that as two Saturdays after Thanksgiving. Last I heard, Thanksgiving is celebrated on a Thursday and correct me if I'm wrong, but Saturday comes after Thursday during the course of a week. So, when someone says, "We should do something on the Saturday after Thanksgiving," for some strange reason, I think they're talking about that Saturday over Thanksgiving weekend, which would be two days after the holiday.

The next time she goes vague on me with plans or I'm not sure whether or not she's being vague, the conversation may go a little something like this:

Her: "We should do something the Friday after Christmas."

Me: "So long as Armageddon doesn't strike us, there will be many Fridays after Christmas. Were you talking about that very next Friday? One in early-January, mid-February, late-June perhaps?"

Her: "Smarta*s!"

Me: "I know - so seriously, which Friday? That very next one?"

Her: "No, silly - the one after that! Duh!"

Me: "Ah, now I get it." ::confused look on my face::

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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