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What I learned in Week 12 of the NFL regular season

- Brandon Weeden will be out of the league at this time next year, instead teaching a class on how to turn the ball over more than rock stars get laid. The class will be called Weedenology 101.

- Matthew Stafford's second favorite receiver, next to Calvin Johnson, is an opponent.

- Houston and Atlanta have gone from becoming the two most disappointing teams in all of football to two teams battling it out for the top pick in next year's draft. If Houston lands the top spot, expect for them to take a quarterback. If Atlanta gets the top pick, they'll ask if they can draft an entire defense.

- St. Louis quarterback Kellen Clemens is bragging to Sam Bradford that the Rams have scored 80 points in their past two games - both wins against Indianapolis and Chicago, where the back-up didn't have to do a whole lot. Then when he saw the team's remaining schedule, Clemens attempted to do everything in his power to speed up Bradford's recovery process. In four of their final five games, their opponents have a combined 32-11 record (San Francisco, Arizona, New Orleans, and Seattle).

- While ESPN loves giving all the credit for Carolina's recent winning ways to quarterback Cam Newton, I think Danny DeVito could play quarterback for the Panthers right now and have a winning record due to how good their defense is.

- Geno Smith, Eli Manning, Andy Dalton, Brandon Weeden, and Matthew Stafford will be hosting an interception camp in the summer of next year.

- Due to how poorly their defense has been playing, former linebacker Brian Urlacher has requested that Chicago changes its nickname to the Baby Bears.

- Andrew Luck is reportedly requesting to go back to college with a team that features a running game and a defense.

- With his beard, if things don't work out for Tennessee back-up quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick in the NFL, he could be a good fit for the Boston Red Sox.

- This just in: The Denver Broncos and New England Patriots have more than their quarterbacks on the field when they play one another!
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