It seems like with each and every election, Republicans and Democrats grow farther apart. They're slowly appearing to be complete opposites, much like Labradors and Poodles, but I see there being less chance in the two parties having make-up sex to form a Labradoodle than I do the country splitting up into two.
While not every Republican and Democrat will be as I describe, generally speaking, I think the following descriptions will be fairly accurate:
Modern-day Republican: Very religious, anti-science, against abortion, against gay marriage, against government programs to help the needy, very supportive of gun rights, global-warming deniers, favor tax cuts for the wealthy, against equal pay for women, against marijuana legalization, against universal healthcare, believe many debunked myths about President Obama, etc.
Modern-day Democrat: Not very religious; pro-science; pro-choice with regard to abortion - especially in the cases of rape, incest, or health troubles; support gay marriage; support government programs to help the needy; gun-control proponents; global-warming believers; against tax cuts for the wealthy; support equal pay for women; support marijuana legalization - at least medicinally; support universal healthcare; don't believe debunked myths about President Obama, etc.
Keeping these trends and descriptions in mind, here is a story, which takes place in the distant future, about how the two parties (countries) are faring:
Setting: The Oregon/Idaho border
::a man crosses the border from Idaho (part of Republistan) to Oregon (part of Democratus) on foot::
Border security guard Bubba Shrimp: "I'll need to see some ID."
Gilligan Billy-Joe Cosby: "Some what?"
Bubba: "ID, sir"
Gilligan: "I, I don't know if I have any. I have this name-tag I got at church earlier today. Does that work?"
Bubba: "Very well. Do you have a permit for that gun?"
Gilligan: "No"
Bubba: "You'll need to leave that here then if you want to cross the border. We'll give it back to you when head back to Idaho."
Gilligan: "Okay, I guess."
Bubba: "So what are you coming to Oregon for?"
Gilligan: "I don't know. I just started walking and here I am. I've never been this far before. I just wanted to see what it was like."
Bubba: "Have you ever been to any state in the country of Democratus?"
Gilligan: "No, none at all"
Bubba: "Well, then, this should be quite the interesting trip. I hope you enjoy yourself and have good things to say about us when you travel back."
Gilligan: "Thanks. Say, what are those things in the air over here? I've never seen those before."
Bubba: "Flying cars. Would you like me to call you a taxi, Gilligan? It appears as if you've walked quite a ways as it is and it may take a while before reaching one of our more interesting and entertaining sites."
Gilligan: "That would be swell."
Bubba: ::snaps his fingers and a taxi shows up:: "Here you are. Have a safe trip, sir."
Gilligan: "Say, what? What just...? Uh, okay..."
Cab driver Mahatma Smith: "Good afternoon. So, where would you like to go?"
Gilligan: "This thing flies?"
Mahatma: "Yes, that is correct. Where can I take you?"
Gilligan: "Gee, I don't know. I've never been here before. What would you recommend?"
Mahatma: "Okay, I'll take you to a fun little area with plenty of shops, restaurants, bars, and that kind of thing."
Gilligan: "That sounds good. Do you have any churches around here?"
Mahatma: ::laughs:: "You really haven't ever been here, have you?"
Gilligan: "No, I've only been in Idaho."
Mahatma: "No, we don't have any churches here. Our god is science in these parts."
Gilligan: "Science? What's that?"
Mahatma: "You don't have much over there in terms of computers and technology, do you? Or innovation in general, such as these flying cars for instance, do you?"
Gilligan: "No, we just go to church a lot, pray all these bad storms will go away, and just put our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ."
Mahatma: "...and how has that been working for you?"
Gilligan: "Not very well, unfortunately. But, it's bound to happen. Jesus will come again one day, and when he does, we'll all be saved and brought to the paradise known as heaven."
Mahatma: "Well, perhaps after visiting Oregon, your eyes will be widened, your horizons will be expanded, and you'll have a different outlook on things."
Gilligan: "So what's politics like here?"
Mahatma: "What do you mean exactly?"
Gilligan: "What do your politicians do? Ours mainly just talk about God, guns, and gays."
Mahatma: "Our political leaders continually try to improve transportation, improve our environment, bring about equality for people of different genders, religions, ethnicities, and orientations, and basically just try to improve our livelihoods."
Gilligan: "Even for the gays?"
Mahatma: "Yes, even for the gays"
Gilligan: "Are women allowed to go to school and work here?"
Mahatma: "Yeah, why, can they not over in Idaho?"
Gilligan: "Not unless they dress up like guys and that's frowned upon over there too."
Mahatma: "That's really a shame."
Gilligan: "I know. I have two daughters and I don't know what to tell them anymore."
Mahatma: "Well, if you like what you see over here, perhaps you can take them on a tour of the area and see how they like it. Who knows, if they like the area and are wanting to go to school and work, this could be your new home at some point."
Gilligan: ::smiles:: "Yeah, I think I like that. What about guns, though? I had to turn mine over at the border. I like it for protection."
Mahatma: "Guns are allowed here, but you have to take a training course, get your eyes and background checked, and that kind of thing, before being legally allowed to own a firearm."
Gilligan: "Wow, that sounds like a lot. I don't know if I like that..."
Mahatma: "Well, do you know how to properly fire a gun?"
Gilligan: "Yeah"
Mahatma: "Is your eyesight pretty good?"
Gilligan: "20/20"
Mahatma: "Have you ever committed a violent crime?"
Gilligan: "Heaven's no!"
Mahatma: "Then you'd have no problem in being able to own a gun here. We just don't want untrained, blind, or violent people owning guns, that's all."
Gilligan: "Oh, okay, well, I guess that's alright. Hey, I notice you don't have too many bums around these parts. Why is that?"
Mahatma: "Well, our government taxes the richest among us the most, we provide everyone equal opportunity for jobs, and we even provide aid for those whom are facing hard times. We also invest a lot of money in mental-health facilities and shelters. All of this helps most people earn a decent living so they can provide for their families, and keeps people and litter off the streets."
Gilligan: "Wow! Hey, do you mind if we turn around?"
Mahatma: "Really? But we haven't even gotten to that tourist attraction I was telling you about yet."
Gilligan: "I don't need to see it. I want to go home, pick up my two daughters, and come back here for good, I think."
Mahatma: ::smiles:: "You'll all be very welcome here. You're a good dad. I hope they know and appreciate that."
Gilligan: "Thanks. I hope so too."
While not every Republican and Democrat will be as I describe, generally speaking, I think the following descriptions will be fairly accurate:
Modern-day Republican: Very religious, anti-science, against abortion, against gay marriage, against government programs to help the needy, very supportive of gun rights, global-warming deniers, favor tax cuts for the wealthy, against equal pay for women, against marijuana legalization, against universal healthcare, believe many debunked myths about President Obama, etc.
Modern-day Democrat: Not very religious; pro-science; pro-choice with regard to abortion - especially in the cases of rape, incest, or health troubles; support gay marriage; support government programs to help the needy; gun-control proponents; global-warming believers; against tax cuts for the wealthy; support equal pay for women; support marijuana legalization - at least medicinally; support universal healthcare; don't believe debunked myths about President Obama, etc.
Keeping these trends and descriptions in mind, here is a story, which takes place in the distant future, about how the two parties (countries) are faring:
Setting: The Oregon/Idaho border
::a man crosses the border from Idaho (part of Republistan) to Oregon (part of Democratus) on foot::
Border security guard Bubba Shrimp: "I'll need to see some ID."
Gilligan Billy-Joe Cosby: "Some what?"
Bubba: "ID, sir"
Gilligan: "I, I don't know if I have any. I have this name-tag I got at church earlier today. Does that work?"
Bubba: "Very well. Do you have a permit for that gun?"
Gilligan: "No"
Bubba: "You'll need to leave that here then if you want to cross the border. We'll give it back to you when head back to Idaho."
Gilligan: "Okay, I guess."
Bubba: "So what are you coming to Oregon for?"
Gilligan: "I don't know. I just started walking and here I am. I've never been this far before. I just wanted to see what it was like."
Bubba: "Have you ever been to any state in the country of Democratus?"
Gilligan: "No, none at all"
Bubba: "Well, then, this should be quite the interesting trip. I hope you enjoy yourself and have good things to say about us when you travel back."
Gilligan: "Thanks. Say, what are those things in the air over here? I've never seen those before."
Bubba: "Flying cars. Would you like me to call you a taxi, Gilligan? It appears as if you've walked quite a ways as it is and it may take a while before reaching one of our more interesting and entertaining sites."
Gilligan: "That would be swell."
Bubba: ::snaps his fingers and a taxi shows up:: "Here you are. Have a safe trip, sir."
Gilligan: "Say, what? What just...? Uh, okay..."
Cab driver Mahatma Smith: "Good afternoon. So, where would you like to go?"
Gilligan: "This thing flies?"
Mahatma: "Yes, that is correct. Where can I take you?"
Gilligan: "Gee, I don't know. I've never been here before. What would you recommend?"
Mahatma: "Okay, I'll take you to a fun little area with plenty of shops, restaurants, bars, and that kind of thing."
Gilligan: "That sounds good. Do you have any churches around here?"
Mahatma: ::laughs:: "You really haven't ever been here, have you?"
Gilligan: "No, I've only been in Idaho."
Mahatma: "No, we don't have any churches here. Our god is science in these parts."
Gilligan: "Science? What's that?"
Mahatma: "You don't have much over there in terms of computers and technology, do you? Or innovation in general, such as these flying cars for instance, do you?"
Gilligan: "No, we just go to church a lot, pray all these bad storms will go away, and just put our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ."
Mahatma: "...and how has that been working for you?"
Gilligan: "Not very well, unfortunately. But, it's bound to happen. Jesus will come again one day, and when he does, we'll all be saved and brought to the paradise known as heaven."
Mahatma: "Well, perhaps after visiting Oregon, your eyes will be widened, your horizons will be expanded, and you'll have a different outlook on things."
Gilligan: "So what's politics like here?"
Mahatma: "What do you mean exactly?"
Gilligan: "What do your politicians do? Ours mainly just talk about God, guns, and gays."
Mahatma: "Our political leaders continually try to improve transportation, improve our environment, bring about equality for people of different genders, religions, ethnicities, and orientations, and basically just try to improve our livelihoods."
Gilligan: "Even for the gays?"
Mahatma: "Yes, even for the gays"
Gilligan: "Are women allowed to go to school and work here?"
Mahatma: "Yeah, why, can they not over in Idaho?"
Gilligan: "Not unless they dress up like guys and that's frowned upon over there too."
Mahatma: "That's really a shame."
Gilligan: "I know. I have two daughters and I don't know what to tell them anymore."
Mahatma: "Well, if you like what you see over here, perhaps you can take them on a tour of the area and see how they like it. Who knows, if they like the area and are wanting to go to school and work, this could be your new home at some point."
Gilligan: ::smiles:: "Yeah, I think I like that. What about guns, though? I had to turn mine over at the border. I like it for protection."
Mahatma: "Guns are allowed here, but you have to take a training course, get your eyes and background checked, and that kind of thing, before being legally allowed to own a firearm."
Gilligan: "Wow, that sounds like a lot. I don't know if I like that..."
Mahatma: "Well, do you know how to properly fire a gun?"
Gilligan: "Yeah"
Mahatma: "Is your eyesight pretty good?"
Gilligan: "20/20"
Mahatma: "Have you ever committed a violent crime?"
Gilligan: "Heaven's no!"
Mahatma: "Then you'd have no problem in being able to own a gun here. We just don't want untrained, blind, or violent people owning guns, that's all."
Gilligan: "Oh, okay, well, I guess that's alright. Hey, I notice you don't have too many bums around these parts. Why is that?"
Mahatma: "Well, our government taxes the richest among us the most, we provide everyone equal opportunity for jobs, and we even provide aid for those whom are facing hard times. We also invest a lot of money in mental-health facilities and shelters. All of this helps most people earn a decent living so they can provide for their families, and keeps people and litter off the streets."
Gilligan: "Wow! Hey, do you mind if we turn around?"
Mahatma: "Really? But we haven't even gotten to that tourist attraction I was telling you about yet."
Gilligan: "I don't need to see it. I want to go home, pick up my two daughters, and come back here for good, I think."
Mahatma: ::smiles:: "You'll all be very welcome here. You're a good dad. I hope they know and appreciate that."
Gilligan: "Thanks. I hope so too."
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