Like a lot of people, I traveled to spend some time with friends and family over the Thanksgiving holiday. We consumed large amounts of food, adult beverages, and football. There were laughs shared, as well as interesting stories, inside jokes, gaffes, like most other family gatherings. As normal as this all may sound, there was one experience over the extended holiday weekend which would be viewed as quite atypical for most people, has sadly become typical for me, and I felt the need to share it.
On Wednesday night, like a lot of people, I ventured a local bar and had a few drinks with friends and family. Not five minutes after sitting down, a drunken older lady pointed at me and said, "I know you, right?" to which I simply replied, "Yeah, karaoke." She had seen me sing previously and commented about it to a cousin of mine. She then told a couple guys close to her, as she pointed at me, "He looks like a young Tom Hanks." I'm not sure what I've done differently in recent weeks, but while I had heard that previously, I've heard it around ten times in the past month, all from different people.
Later in the evening, when my father and uncle both left the establishment, I hung out with three friends of mine at the end of the bar. A couple seats down from us, we witnessed a middle-aged couple downing shot after shot after shot (I think I counted 4 shots for him and 5 for her), so needless to say, they were hammered. The woman, we'll call her Jezebel, walked right up to me a short time later and the first thing she ever said to me was, "You're gay, right? You look gay."
This isn't the first time a complete stranger has asked me that question, albeit, it was the most blunt anyone has ever been about it. I laughed and calmly replied, "I'm not sure what exactly to say to that, but no, I'm not."
She then insisted, "Yes, you are. You're gay, right?"
A friend of mine then butted in and said, "No, I can assure you he's not."
This cycle of questioning and responding lasted for roughly 5 minutes, although it seemed more like 45. When she left and went to talk to her boyfriend again, I asked two of my friends, "So, how did I handle that?"
One friend of mine responded, "Much better than I would have, that's for sure."
To her credit, she has since asked the bartender to apologize to me for her. But still...
Is that the norm now? To just walk up to some random person and ask about their sexuality? I could maybe understand that personal question being asked right away if a person was single and interested, just to make sure they weren't wasting their time. However, this woman was involved, her boyfriend was right there, and yet she still felt the need to ask about my sexuality.
I played it cool, because what good could come from me getting openly pissed off with a drunk woman? Even if that was the case, though, I was still a bit irritated with how she approached me.
"You're gay right? You look gay."
What does that even mean? Is there a guidebook somewhere on what it means to look heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual? Was it my dark wavy hair? My light complexion? My green eyes? My 32'' blue jeans? My blue and yellow sweater? My dimples? My black and orange sneakers? I haven't the slightest idea, but apparently Jezebel knows.
A couple of days later, my buddies and I met up again and laughed about the whole situation. While I had been asked multiple times previously if I was gay, those occasions occurred in Ohio, not in Michigan, and while I had informed my friends of these very experiences, it was the first time they'd actually witnessed it for themselves. So they all got a pretty good laugh out of that, at which point I said, "You see? I told you!" Due to this odd experience and others, I'm thinking it may be time to start a reality TV series where a cameraperson follows me around crowded bars and we get to hear all of the odd comments drunk strangers make when they approach me. Given my own knowledge of these events, sadly, it would likely make for quite an entertaining spectacle.
On Wednesday night, like a lot of people, I ventured a local bar and had a few drinks with friends and family. Not five minutes after sitting down, a drunken older lady pointed at me and said, "I know you, right?" to which I simply replied, "Yeah, karaoke." She had seen me sing previously and commented about it to a cousin of mine. She then told a couple guys close to her, as she pointed at me, "He looks like a young Tom Hanks." I'm not sure what I've done differently in recent weeks, but while I had heard that previously, I've heard it around ten times in the past month, all from different people.
Later in the evening, when my father and uncle both left the establishment, I hung out with three friends of mine at the end of the bar. A couple seats down from us, we witnessed a middle-aged couple downing shot after shot after shot (I think I counted 4 shots for him and 5 for her), so needless to say, they were hammered. The woman, we'll call her Jezebel, walked right up to me a short time later and the first thing she ever said to me was, "You're gay, right? You look gay."
This isn't the first time a complete stranger has asked me that question, albeit, it was the most blunt anyone has ever been about it. I laughed and calmly replied, "I'm not sure what exactly to say to that, but no, I'm not."
She then insisted, "Yes, you are. You're gay, right?"
A friend of mine then butted in and said, "No, I can assure you he's not."
This cycle of questioning and responding lasted for roughly 5 minutes, although it seemed more like 45. When she left and went to talk to her boyfriend again, I asked two of my friends, "So, how did I handle that?"
One friend of mine responded, "Much better than I would have, that's for sure."
To her credit, she has since asked the bartender to apologize to me for her. But still...
Is that the norm now? To just walk up to some random person and ask about their sexuality? I could maybe understand that personal question being asked right away if a person was single and interested, just to make sure they weren't wasting their time. However, this woman was involved, her boyfriend was right there, and yet she still felt the need to ask about my sexuality.
I played it cool, because what good could come from me getting openly pissed off with a drunk woman? Even if that was the case, though, I was still a bit irritated with how she approached me.
"You're gay right? You look gay."
What does that even mean? Is there a guidebook somewhere on what it means to look heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual? Was it my dark wavy hair? My light complexion? My green eyes? My 32'' blue jeans? My blue and yellow sweater? My dimples? My black and orange sneakers? I haven't the slightest idea, but apparently Jezebel knows.
A couple of days later, my buddies and I met up again and laughed about the whole situation. While I had been asked multiple times previously if I was gay, those occasions occurred in Ohio, not in Michigan, and while I had informed my friends of these very experiences, it was the first time they'd actually witnessed it for themselves. So they all got a pretty good laugh out of that, at which point I said, "You see? I told you!" Due to this odd experience and others, I'm thinking it may be time to start a reality TV series where a cameraperson follows me around crowded bars and we get to hear all of the odd comments drunk strangers make when they approach me. Given my own knowledge of these events, sadly, it would likely make for quite an entertaining spectacle.
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