If you copy and paste this picture, Mark Zuckerberg is going to...

It's hard not to love hoaxes spread on Facebook, isn't it? The latest one making the rounds says this:

"Mark Zuckerberg is going to give away 4.5 million shares of his Facebook stock tonight at midnight; 10% to people like you and me! All you have to do is copy and paste this to your page and post. Facebook is doing this to show what a powerful tool of connection it is !!! Can't wait to see who wins !!! This is not a hoax !!! It's on Good Morning America!!!"

Yes, it's just THAT easy!!! Sorry, I felt the need to follow the three exclamation point trend for a moment. I'll stop now. But seriously, while we'd all love for millions of dollars to fall out of the sky onto our laps (yes, even through the sturdy roofs of our homes), unless we get incredibly lucky with a lottery ticket, there's less chance of that happening than a sloth beating Usain Bolt in the 200 metre at the Olympics. Like most such Facebook posts, this one has been debunked more times than Donald Trump has complimented himself during his campaign. In any case, I thought I'd poke fun at this hoax by presenting some Mark Zuckerberg-giveaway posts of my own. Here we go...

- "Having a rough go of things? Well, today you're in luck! For every time you copy and paste this post on your page, Mark Zuckerberg will send you $1! The maximum per person is $100,000! This is not a hoax! It's an attempt to see who your real friends are!"

- "If you copy and paste this post to your page at exactly midnight on January 1st of 2016, Mark Zuckerberg will give you a smart car time machine! This is not a hoax! I heard it on Fox News!

- "Elvis is still alive! If you want to meet him, just copy and paste this post on your page and Mark Zuckerberg will fly him directly to your door, where he'll immediately sing that 'Suspicious' whatever song! This is not a hoax! I saw it on 60/60!"

- "If anyone can copy and paste this post on their page at exactly 11:22:33 tonight, Mark Zuckerberg will give you an actual working hoverboard, like from Back to the Future II! This is not a hoax! Snopes even said it's true! Check it out at this site if you don't believe me - http://www.snopes.zuckerberghoverboardbullcrap.com!"

- "First off, this is not a hoax! I heard it from a voice in my head named Chico Gonzalez! If you copy and paste this post on your page from 10:01 to 10:05 tonight, Mark Zuckerberg will reward with one of five different things! At 10:01 you'll receive a lifetime supply of staplers! At 10:02 you'll get a pet gerbil named Sh*t Breath! At 10:03 you'll get a Christmas stocking filled with Borders and Blockbuster Video gift cards! At 10:04 Fred Durst will sing Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' to you at one of his concerts! At 10:05 you'll get to star in Mark's upcoming movie, My Face Is Better Than Your Face!"

http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Mark-Zuckerberg-Facebook-Hoax-Meme-363665531.html

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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