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The Ineloquence of Donald Trump

I often times made fun of former President George W. Bush and to a lesser degree, former Texas Governor Rick Perry, for their tendency to fumble with their spoken words. To their credit, though, they would use these instances to poke fun of themselves, showcasing they could at least have a sense of humor about the whole thing. With current GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, however, that's anything but the case. The man is as eloquent a speaker as my mother is a high jumper Olympic gold medalist (she even jokingly admits her vertical is half an inch on a good day), yet he continually likes to proclaim he's the best, the strongest, the brightest person on the face of the earth. Here's just the latest example of Trump's lack of eloquence, as when being asked about civilian casualties in the fight against ISIS during a Fox News interview, he said this:

"But we're fighting a very politically correct war. And the other thing is with the terrorists, you have to take out their families. When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don't kid yourself. But they say they don't care about their lives. You have to take out their families."

When first reading that, I thought to myself, "What's he mean? To dinner? The ball game? To one of his lovely speeches?"

My second thought was, "Whoa, this Trump dude is deep!"

Having listened to my fair share of Trump since he announced he was running for president, I've learned the following about the businessman's speaking style:

1) He's in love with 3- to 4-letter adjectives and adverbs.

2) Repetition is the man's best friend.

3) Vaguery is another very very close friend of his. (Yeah, see what I did there?)

4) He's always into hyperbole. (Oops, I did it again...)

5) He never mastered the art of correctly using pronouns.

6) He'll never admit to being wrong or of lying, even when facts suggest otherwise and he gets called out on it.

7) He's rarely bashful about insulting others.

8) The first person to compliment Donald Trump is typically Donald Trump.

Having said all that, I'm still not entirely certain what Trump was trying to say during his Fox News interview. He essentially said the U.S. has to kill the terrorists' families. The Donald then repeated this, again saying the U.S. has to kill the terrorists' families. He then stated that either the terrorists, their families, or both care about their lives (who "their" is, again, we can't be certain). Following up on that, he claimed "they" say they don't care about their lives, but once again, due to his overabundance of pronouns, it isn't completely clear to whom he was referring here. Then he closed his bit by once again saying the U.S. has to kill the terrorists' families.

Given Donald Trump's before-mentioned quote on Fox News and the trends I've noticed in his speech through the past few months, I envision Mr. Ineloquent making the following statements in these settings:

Setting: Teaching a history class

Trump: "Don't kid yourselves, people, Columbus is a very very big deal. Columbus discovered America. Columbus sailed here and discovered America. He discovered it - America - Columbus did. He sailed his boat here - I'm talking about Columbus - and he discovered this great country - the United States of America."


Setting: Announcing a football game

Trump: "Look at that guy - that one over there. No, not him, the other one! No, that one guy! He's huge! But I bet you all my life savings I could beat him up! Fighting is all about smarts and no one is smarter than me! He may be big, but I bet you he's a freakin' loser - which is exactly what he would be if he fought me!"


Setting: Doing a stand-up comedy routine

Trump: "Prepare yourselves, people. What I'm about to tell you is the the biggest, bestest, funniest joke you've ever heard! I'm serious. It's like frickin' huge and very very very very very very funny. I heard it one time from some guy at a place I don't remember when I was like 12. I can't remember his name, but this guy, we'll call him guy, but he says to me, 'So, why did the chicken cross the road?' I says to him, 'I don't know. Tell me why the chicken crossed the road.' Then he says, he says, he says, what was it he said? He said something like, 'So the chicken could go to a place over here, there, or elsewhere at some point in time or whatever,' or something like that."

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/trump-isis-terrorists-you-have-take-out-their-families-n472711

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