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#GOPDebate

I had a great deal of fun making sarcastic tweets throughout the course of both GOP debates last night. When all was said and done, I concocted 78 such tweets (yes, my mind was more fried than Willie Nelson's after partying with Cheech and Chong for 4 hours). Here's a list of said tweets, starting with the most popular and ending with the least popular:

1) Jeb: "Obama had 6 years to bring us out of my brother's recession & he did, so yeah, take that Obama!"
#GOPDebate
94 favorites, 69 retweets (163 total)

2) Rubio: "Obama & his 223 executive orders are the most in history, even more than Reagan's 381!"
#GOPDebate
41 favorites, 33 retweets (74 total)

3) Huckabee: "The kids nowadays are so lazy! Get off your butts & put your lives on the line in war! ...and no, I never did this!"
#GOPDebate
37 favorites, 34 retweets (71 total)

4) GOP: "Unless you're talking about reproductive rights, equal pay, adequate healthcare, etc., we fight for women's rights!"
#GOPDebate
37 favorites, 26 retweets (63 total)

5) Huckabee: "We always pick the wrong side w/Obama. We should follow Bush's lead, invade on false pretenses & spend trillions!"
#GOPDebate
36 favorites, 26 retweets (62 total)

6) Fiorina: "ISIS started in 1999, strengthened when Bush attacked the Middle East, but remember, it's all Hillary & Obama's fault!"
#GOPDebate
33 favorites, 24 retweets (57 total)

7) What won't be said...
GOP: "Let's now talk about that radical Christian conservative who attacked Planned Parenthood recently."
#GOPDebate
27 favorites, 21 retweets (48 total)

8) Carson: "Am I tough enough? All you need to know is when I was held at gunpoint at Popeyes one time & I sent him to the cashier."
#GOPDebate
28 favorites, 17 retweets (45 total)

8) Huckabee: "College kids post drunken photos on MyFace. That's awful! By the way, Josh Duggar & Kim Davis are my best friends."
#GOPDebate
29 favorites, 16 retweets (45 total)

10) Q: "What should we fear most?"
Trump: "Muslims!"
Cruz: "Obama!"
Rubio: "ISIS!"
Carson: "Hummus!"
#GOPDebate
25 favorites, 17 retweets (42 total)

11) Trump: "Jeb, you suck!"
Jeb: "Wanna go?"
Trump: "I got Ben's hammer & belt-buckle, so yeah!"
Jeb: "I got my exclamation point!"
#GOPDebate
26 favorites, 15 retweets (41 total)

12) 5 minutes in, those drinking a shot for every time a candidate says "radical Muslims" or "radical Islam" have already passed out.
#GOPDebate
20 favorites, 17 retweets (37 total)

12) Carson: "This is the greatest country the world has ever known, and I know this because Jesus was born here."
#GOPDebate
28 favorites, 9 retweets (37 total)

14) Trump: "I may be a dick, but CNN is being a bigger dick! You guys suck very very very much! No offense..."
#GOPDebate
20 favorites, 10 retweets (30 total)

15) Cruz:"I'm going mention FDR to bash Obama bc, you know, they're both Democrats & used to bowl together or something. Look it up!"
#GOPDebate
17 favorites, 12 retweets (29 total)

16) Lindsey Graham (future personal ad): "Ladies, if you want to kill terrorists, I'm your guy."
#GOPDebate
14 favorites, 12 retweets (26 total)

16) Trump: "Big, bigger, biggest, huge, huger, hugest, wait, what was that word I found in the Thesaurus today? Oh yeah, massive!"
#GOPDebate
16 favorites, 10 retweets (26 total)

16) Carson: "PC, PC, PC, PC, PC. Wait, PC stands for 'Pretty Clueless,' right?"
#GOPDebate
18 favorites, 8 retweets (26 total)

16) Trump: "Elect me and we'll be bigger, better, badder, greater, awesomer, and win at everything always, even curling."
#GOPDebate
22 favorites, 4 retweets (26 total)

20) Trump: "Just like I can build a big beautiful wall with my bare hands, I can snap my fingers and shut off the Internets."
#GOPDebate
14 favorites, 10 retweets (24 total)

20) Cruz: "All of you guys can go to hell! It's my party and I'll talk if I want to, talk if I want to, talk if I want to!"
#GOPDebate
15 favorites, 9 retweets (24 total)

22) GOP: "Us invading the Middle East always turns out well, so we need to keep on doing that, for a long long time, maybe forever!"
#GOPDebate
12 favorites, 11 retweets (23 total)

23) Christie: "I just have six words for all of you: 9/11." :: drops mic ::
#GOPDebate
14 favorites, 8 retweets (22 total)

23) Trump: "I'm center stage for a reason, bc I'm always center of my own attention. I'm awesome, I like me a lot & you like me too."
#GOPDebate
15 favorites, 7 retweets (22 total)

23) Trump: "Jeb's a nice guy and all, but no offense, he's a pansy and pretty stupid too. Again, no offense..."
#GOPDebate
16 favorites, 6 retweets (22 total)

26) GOP: "Bush may have invaded Iraq, which helped strengthen terrorist groups like ISIS, but it's still all Obama's fault!"
#GOPDebate
11 favorites, 10 retweets (21 total)

Kasich: "Let's talk about the Egyptian president..."

26) Carson: "Hey, by any chance, did he help store grain in the pyramids?"
#GOPDebate
16 favorites, 5 retweets (21 total)

28) The first of two Fallacyoholics Anonymous meetings is about to start now on CNN...
#GOPDebate
12 favorites, 8 retweets (20 total)

28) Trump: "Hyperbole, vague source, hyperbole, California, BS, 4-letter adjectives & adverbs, hyperbole."
#GOPDebate
14 favorites, 6 retweets (20 total)

30) GOP: "Obama & Clinton have not kept you safe. Vote GOP in 2016, & like under President Bush on 9/11, we'll keep you safe too!"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 10 retweets (19 total)

30) Huckabee: "Our system is designed to function by one party blocking everything the POTUS puts forward & that's what we've done!"
#GOPDebate
11 favorites, 8 retweets (19 total)

32) Rubio: "We're the greatest country in the history of mankind, but not now b/c of PBO. I'll take us back to Bush & the recession!"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 9 retweets (18 total)

32) Trump: "It's not about religion; it's about security from Muslims and their religion. There's a big big big difference."
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 9 retweets (18 total)

32) Deep thoughts w/Donald J. Trump
"We either have a country or we don't have a country." & "We either have a border or we don't."
#GOPDebate
12 favorites, 6 retweets (18 total)

32) It would have been more fitting if CNN played the Green Day song "Walking Contradiction" in the lead up to the debate.
#GOPDebate
13 favorites, 5 retweets (18 total)

32) Carson: "I'm now going to mumble the name Reince Priebus so it sounds like Reince Pubus for no particular reason."
#GOPDebate
13 favorites, 5 retweets (18 total)

37) Huckabee: "Let me sing you all a song. Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get us, well, if they're Muslims or something."
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 8 retweets (17 total)

37) GOP: "While, as we've proven time and time again, it's very possible to defeat terrorism, it's impossible to vet refugees!"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 8 retweets (17 total)

37) Christie: "I'll be more trusted by the dead king of Jordan than President Obama; I can promise you that!"
#GOPDebate
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/chris-christie-hell-trusted-dead-king-jordan/story?id=35785558
11 favorites, 6 retweets (17 total)

37) Carson: "Enough with this PC stuff. I mean, if you are against gays or think all Muslims are terrorists, whatever, you know?"
#GOPDebate
12 favorites, 5 retweets (17 total)

37) Christie: "I hugged Obama once, but not a day goes by where I don't regret it, even though I always think about it."
#GOPDebate
14 favorites, 3 retweets (17 total)

42) Cruz: "Hillary/Obama get distracted. I'm now going to answer your question which had nothing to do w/Reagan & talk about Reagan."
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 7 retweets (16 total)

42) Cruz: "What we have to fear more than anything else isn't weather, isn't guns, isn't terrorism; it's political correctness!"
#GOPDebate
11 favorites, 5 retweets (16 total)

42) GOP:"Hopefully the people learned: 1) Recession & 9/11 happened under PBO, 2) Hillary is VP, & 5) All Lives Matter but Muslims'."
#GOPDebate
11 favorites, 5 retweets (16 total)

42) Pataki: "I disagree with what President Trump said, but what he said is still Obama and Hillary's fault!"
#GOPDebate
12 favorites, 4 retweets (16 total)

42) Graham: "If you elect me, give me a few guns & rocket launchers, and I'll go over there and kill all the terrorists myself!"
#GOPDebate
13 favorites, 3 retweets (16 total)

47) Jeb!: "This is the least secure we've been since World War II, for 9/11 happened before then!"
#GOPDebate
11 favorites, 4 retweets (15 total)

48) Rand: "Hold on a sec. I'm going to take a drag on medical marijuana before speaking. That's better. Where was I going with this?"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 5 retweets (14 total)

48) Christie: "Obama is a pathetic weakling who has an incredibly warm embrace. I know this first-hand."
#GOPDebate
10 favorites, 4 retweets (14 total)

48) Rand: "The biggest threat to our country is a secret handshake. Stay far far away from the secret handshake!"
#GOPDebate
10 favorites, 4 retweets (14 total)

51) Fiorina: "I'm going to close this by reminding everyone, while it has improved a lot, Obama's website failed once, so yeah!"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 4 retweets (13 total)

52) Cruz: "Want to get into a pissing contest?"

Rubio: "Well, like, duh..."
#GOPDebate
8 favorites, 4 retweets (12 total)

52) Rubio: "Even though I've already said our country is weak w/Obama, vote for me to keep this nation the strongest in the world."
#GOPDebate
10 favorites, 2 retweets (12 total)

54) Christie:"I'm in on this bet on who can say the names Hillary/Obama the most, so Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Obama, Obama!"
#GOPDebate
7 favorites, 4 retweets (11 total)

54) #GOPDebate
Biggest winners: Liquor companies & ISIS recruiters
Biggest losers: Anyone with fully functioning ears
7 favorites, 4 retweets (11 total)

54) GOP: "We need a Commander-in-Chief who knows what he's doing! Gosh, where's Dubya when you need him?"
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 2 retweets (11 total)

54) ...and the second Fallacyoholics Anonymous meeting of the night is about to start now!
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 2 retweets (11 total)

58) Cruz:"I got beat up once by a 2-year-old, Daisy, when I was 23, but believe me, I could destroy every terrorist w/my bare hands!"
#GOPDebate
4 favorites, 6 retweets (10 total)

58) Huckabee: "You can't have it both ways where you say you're more Christian than me & believe in the Constitution. Like whatever."
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 1 retweet (10 total)

58) Carson: "Allow me to recite a poem I wrote: Attack ISIS, attack hummus, attack lysis, attack fungus w/a hammer & a belt buckle."
#GOPDebate
9 favorites, 1 retweet (10 total)

61) Hewitt: "I'm now going to ask you all to spell the word 'nuculer.' That's 'nuculer.' We'll call Dubya and start with him."
#GOPDebate
5 favorites, 4 retweets (9 total)

61) Huckabee: "Obama called ISIS like a JV team. Hey, the only JV team is us four on the stage right now!"
#GOPDebate
7 favorites, 2 retweets (9 total)

61) Cruz: "Obama needs to stop focusing on gun violence & to instead focus on allowing terrorists to buy guns in this great nation!"
#GOPDebate
7 favorites, 2 retweets (9 total)

61) Trump:"Since I have a big big lead, I'm going to get half of our viewers to turn off their TVs by saying the word 'penetration.'"
#GOPDebate
7 favorites, 2 retweets (9 total)

61) Carson: "Tis the season and all. Speaking of which, I'm going to talk to you about little bombs and decorations..."
#GOPDebate
8 favorites, 1 retweet (9 total)

66) Graham: "Look, if Rambo were a true story, Sylvester Stallone's character would have been based on me. Fact! I'm that tough!"
#GOPDebate
4 favorites, 4 retweets (8 total)

66) Graham: "It's like my math teacher once told me, 'You were right more than you were wrong!' I answered 11 out of 20 right."
#GOPDebate
5 favorites, 3 retweets (8 total)

68) Huckabee: "I trust Trump more than Hillary! His big beautiful wall idea turns me on more than 'Cat Scratch Fever'."
#GOPDebate
4 favorites, 3 retweets (7 total)

68) Deep thoughts
Christie: "A no-fly zone means a no-fly zone."
#GOPDebate
4 favorites, 3 retweets (7 total)

68) Fiorina:"Trump sounded like PBO. You can't agree w/him on anything! He has cooties & eats dogs' cousins!"
#GOPDebate
http://gawker.com/in-an-effort-to-humanize-herself-carly-fiorina-eats-do-1748126395
6 favorites, 1 retweet (7 total)

71) Fiorina: "Even though we want to be a big part of the government, we have to be better than the government we're a part of."
#GOPDebate
6 favorites, 0 retweets (6 total)

72) Huckabee: "While we should hand terrorists as many guns as they want here, Syrian refugees fleeing terror should be refused!"
#GOPDebate
2 favorites, 3 retweets (5 total)

72) Santorum: "Trump saying Muslims shouldn't be allowed to travel here had nothing to do w/Muslims & everything to do with Obama!"
#GOPDebate
4 favorites, 1 retweet (5 total)

72) Graham/Pataki/Santorum/Huckabee: "We're simply not polling well b/c of the president! Thanks, Obama!"
#GOPDebate
5 favorites, 0 retweets (5 total)

75) Rubio: "You think Trump likes hyperboles? I like them too, so please allow me to prove that to you all today."
#GOPDebate
3 favorites, 1 retweet (4 total)

75) Trump: "Let me show you how you bully ISIS. John (Kasich), Jeb, Carly, moderators, get over here..."
#GOPDebate
3 favorites, 1 retweet (4 total)

77) Jeb: "You can't become president by insulting people."
Trump: "Hey loser, you can't spell 'president' w/o 'insulting everyone.'"
#GOPDebate
2 favorites, 1 retweet (3 total)

78) Jeb!: "I know what I don't know, & I know I don't stand much of a chance, so that could very well come in handy down the line."
#GOPDebate
2 favorites, 0 retweets (2 total)

Overall numbers: 1,099 favorites/645 retweets (averages of 14.09 favorites/8.27 retweets)

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