The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I read an article today which, for just a split second, made me wonder if it was merely attempting to be satirical for how awful the content really was. I'll let you read the article first. It can be viewed here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dave-kerpen/why-stephen-colbert-is-mo_b_868471.html That's right, ladies and gentlemen. As of May 30th of 2011, it can be stated that likability is determined by the quantity of one's Twitter followers. Jon Stewart doesn't have a personal Twitter account, so in its absence, it can be matter-of-factly stated that Stephen Colbert is the more likable of the two. So, that's what it's come to, eh folks? Tweets? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I watch their shows rather religiously, but I'm not going to be so asinine as to judge their likability on their Twitter followers. How far will this go? Do we determine Emmy winners based on the number of Twitter follower...

I just read that Cincinnati Bengals' receiver, Chad Ochocinco, is going to change his name back to Chad Johnson, what his name originally was before he felt the need to alter his last name to "Ochocinco". [1] Thank God. I have nothing against name changes, the Bengals or Chad Johnson, but his name alteration was fricking ridiculous. He's number 85, so he altered his name to represent his jersey number. Ocho = 8, Cinco = 5. Unfortunately for him, combining the two words does not equal 85 in Spanish. In Spanish, 85 is ochenta y cinco. There is quite a difference. In English, if I wore number 11, I wouldn't change my name to one one. The number is eleven. I'm not sure who taught Johnson about language and/or mathematics, but he may want to work on that a bit, especially for how much he likes to talk. [1] I really have to wonder if Mr. Johnson-turned-Ocho-Cinco-back-to-Johnson ever took Spanish class. Vegas odds are currently at 5,921,114 : 1.

Isn't it nice that our current president, Barack Obama, knows how to correctly pronounce the word "nuclear" (as opposed to "nucular," which was frequently uttered by former president George W. Bush)? Yeah, I think so too.

The other day, a good friend of mine gave me the compliment of a lifetime. She said I'm not repulsive, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. (By the way, if this friend is reading this, I'm not mad at all. I just thought the wording was funny. 'Tis all good and stuff...)

Okay, I have to ask this, why do so many people trust "Fox News" as a credible source for news? Why? I'm not saying there aren't other biased news networks. MSNBC, especially in their late night programs, have an obvious slant to the left of center. However, they also carry with them Republicans Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanan. That's not much, but that's still better than Fox, whom carries with them Shepard Smith and that's about it as far as "fair and balanced" reporting is concerned. Infotainment, as I like to call it, is huge in this day and age. It's like an extreme version of a creative non-fiction book, where an individual takes facts and adds attractive fictional elements to make it more exciting and entertaining. In filmmaking, we have Michael Moore, but even Mr. Moore can't equal the level of "infotainment" that transpires at Fox and does so in a very slanted fashion. There's: Megyn Kelly, Sean Hannity, Glenn ...

 A recent study, conducted by Janet Swim and Julia Becker, was just released and I honestly don't know what to think of it. The study delves into different levels of sexism and both genders' reaction to them. It was found that men whom actually take the time to listen to women, understand where they're coming from and illustrate a genuine candor for their feelings, were much less prone to committing acts of blatant sexism and were much more understanding of women whom were offended by such acts. Okay, that sounds reasonable enough. However, when we move on to some subtle acts of sexism and even what is coined "benevolent sexism," I have to scratch my head a bit, at both the study and also some of the following comments on the page. One of the subtle acts of sexism was described as when a man calls a woman "girl". I can understand this in certain contexts, but I think that the level of offensiveness of that term, "girl," has waned some in th...

I enjoy being a pain in the butt sometimes. I enjoy being creative, am a bit of a word geek and a bit of a smart aleck as well. Due to this, I detest clichés. First off, there isn’t any originality to re-using the same tired phrases over and over again. Also, I find that many of them don’t make an ounce of sense. So, I heartily enjoy intentionally misinterpreting such statements, in order to depict the ambiguity which resides in them and to showcase just how ridiculous the phrases are. Following will be fictionalized dialogue between some unknown person and myself, where he/she/it will utter a common phrase or saying and I will respond accordingly. Debra: “I’m as happy as a clam.” Me: “The one you just ate?” Anna: “Good morning!” Me: “Are you trying to be funny?” Albert: “There’s no ‘I’ in team!” Me: “That is quite the observation. There isn’t a w, p, q or r either.” Sherrie: “Come on, Craig. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Me: “Don’t worry about it. I planned...

On ESPN Radio, I hear a personality; I believe his name is Fred Coleman, say the following line after he makes a "point" (which is debatable), "I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'." I'm sorry, but how does that make an ounce of sense? Really? He's not sayin'. He's just sayin'? Huh, that is interesting, perhaps even profound to an extent. It reminds me of this time when I saw a satire on pornos (one I probably wrote), where Jean-Claude Johnson is caught by his wife, Chastity Slut-Johnson, in bed with another woman, Marisa Hooch. Mr. Johnson says to his wife, "Honey, I'm not cheatin'. I'm just cheatin'." That's right, Mr. Johnson. Perhaps with him being a porn star, Chastity may buy this, but I doubt anybody else would. He's not sayin'. He's just sayin'? Yeah, just like I'm not bloggin'. I'm just bloggin'. Right on, Mr. Coleman. Right on.

Yeah, I attended The National Smokers' Convention a while back. I went to a friend's place and out of ten people (including myself), I was the only non-smoker there. Even a gal with asthma was smoking. Smoking has been banned in public places in Nebraska, where I used to live, and also Ohio, where I currently live. So, smokers are ticked and there are even silly commercials appearing on television dealing with the continuous bans. I saw one a while ago that stated a high percentage of people die in their sleep, so, are we going to ban sleep? Yeah, I get what they're trying to say. If people can die in their sleep or by smoking, then why does it make sense to ban one, but not the other? A friend of mine said it brought up a good point. Not exactly. It's a very desperate attempt by smokers to hang on to those beautiful cancer sticks. Why doesn't it bring up a good point? Sleeping is an essential component to a human being's life. One needs rest in order to survi...

I admit that I have been involved with fantasy sports in the past. I've done pretty well. You'll usually see me in the top 3 of the league or top 1 of the league if it's with some friends of mine. Yeah, I follow my sports and I've gotten quite lucky. It takes just as much luck as knowledge in fantasy sportsland. But, I don't go crazy over fantasy sports and I don't go nuts if a player of mine didn't perform well on a certain night. What effect has fantasy sports had on sports and on fans? Has it helped or hurt the games? The fans? Why or why not? While there are two positives I can think of when it comes to fantasy sports, the negatives sure outweigh those two positives. The two positives that I believe fantasy sports bring are 1) An interest in the game, regardless of how well one's team is doing and 2) Broadening a person's horizons with whom they watch. It's very easy if our team is not performing well, to not pay attention anymore. But,...

When interviewed by ThinkProgress earlier this year, social conservative leader (Iowa Family Leader), Bob Vander Plaats, stated, “If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle. That’s why I think we need to speak the truth once in a while.” [1] Indeed we do. This wasn’t the first time Vander Plaats resorted to such rhetoric regarding homosexuality. Earlier this year, he stated the following, “Why not open it up! Bisexual, polygamy, multiple women? Why not?” Okay, so I’ve heard this slippery slope before. “Legalize gay marriage? Then what? Polygamy? Incest? Marrying your dog? Marrying a poster of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Really? What’s next?” Alright, so I’ve heard the slippery slope before when people have attempted to make a case against gay marriage. However, this was the first time I had heard a person compare homosexuality to smoking. That’s right, smoking = being gay. This mathematic...