New Year's Resolutions

Regardless of the time of year or what year it is, I believe the following resolutions will be made:

Dick Cheney - To smile for the first time in his life.

Tom Cruise - To reject medication from his doctor after he tells Tom that he is mentally troubled, insane and delusional.

Bill O'Reilly - To take an anger management class, go to discussion groups on racism and sexism and to have some more fun on the telephone.

Slyvester Stallone - To box without a walker or cane.

Rush Limbaugh - To marry his 5th, 6th and 7th wives and declare himself the second coming of Joseph Smith.

Hugh Grant - To play the same role in another film.

Sean Hannity - To give others a chance to speak.

Mike Tyson - To take on a new primary language so he can never attempt to speak the English language again.

Donald Trump - To take credit for ending World War II, finding and killing Osama bin Laden and starting a new business called, “Rat Hair”.

MTV - To show one music video between 7 am and midnight.

Hollywood - To come out with more re-makes and sequels than originals.

Reality TV - To become more fake.

John Madden - To become a professional tic-tac-toe player.

Lyle Lovett - To be voted America's Sexiest Male.

Arnold Schwarzenegger - To take part in a nationally-televised debate with Mike Tyson and George W. Bush.

Fox News - To fool the public some more.

George W. Bush - To finally get through that Dr. Seuss book he started reading 7 years ago.

Tiger Woods - To set a record for hole-in-ones away from the golf course.

Glenn Beck - To make sense even if only once.

Lady Gaga - To start a new clothing chain called “RSTW” or “Random Sh*t To Wear”.

Sarah Palin - To see Russia for the first time in her life.

LeBron James - To announce to the world via ESPN what he’s doing for his birthday.

John McCain - To replace the latter part of his repetitious line “My friends” with “My G’s”.

American Idol - To replace judges Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson with Cheech, Chong and Jesus.

Charlie Sheen - To transition himself to the softer drugs, like crack.

My podcast, "I Feel Snitty," is available at Amazon Music!

My podcast, "I Feel Snitty," can now be heard on Amazon Music/Audible! You can check it out at this link: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a42809aa-5c21-4807-affc-0bda98741438/I-Feel-Snitty-with-Craig-Rozniecki

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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