Know anyone who likes to remind you time and time again of something nice they did for you that one time? That time they picked you up when your car died? That time when you were out of money after paying the bill at a restaurant and they paid the tip? That time at band camp, when they taught you how to... Oh wait, nevermind. But I'm sure you get the idea. Know anyone like that? And whenever they want a favor done for them or feel that you're not being kind that day, they feel the need to bring up what they did? What? Do we all want medals? Seriously, how long can this go on for?
I could list countless things I've done for others, but does that entitle me to countless favors in return? I was there for some friends of mine every day for a year, to prevent them from doing anything STUPID, if you know what I mean. One of their fathers continues to thank me to this day. That's good enough for me. I spent $2,000 a few years ago to take my folks, brother and I out to see the rest of our family for Thanksgiving, the first time we'd ever done that (it's become a tradition since that day). My dad continues to bring it up at times and tells me thank you. Again, that's good enough for me. I've been there to listen to hours and hours of bickering, complaining, whining and venting about people's lives, families, friends, jobs and relationships. A simple thank you does the trick. This doesn't entitle me to bring it up five years after the fact. Five years from now, if I'm in need for some money, would it be right of me to go to my folks and say something along the lines of, "But remember when I spent all that money for us to spend Thanksgiving with the rest of our family? Come on. You owe me!" Do we all have scoreboards at home and keep track of favors we've done and received from others? Do our favors count more than others? How does this all work? I don't know the perfect formula for this scoring system.
How about we just all give each other medals and get on with it. Just by acknowledging someone's kindness or good deed should be good enough. Heck, bad deeds may far outweigh that one good deed. If someone was extremely kind off and on for a period of time, but treated you like garbage off and on for an even longer period of time, how can that person truly expect you to show never-ending gratitude for that one moment, when many other moments come to overshadow that one? If a husband saves his wife's life one time by carrying her out of a burning building, yet is abusive to her all throughout their 20 years of marriage, how is that one moment to overshadow those countless others?
We seem to like bragging about it too. Even if I were a jerk to my folks and brother rather consistently, I'd feel good about telling the story about me spending $2,000 on us to spend Thanksgiving with the family. Then, everyone who hears or reads the story will think I'm a great guy and they won't see the full picture. I'm not a jerk to them, by the way; I'm just giving a hypothetical scenario.
If we want to tell our nice stories or even the not-so-nice ones, it'd be nice to know that 100% of the picture has been painted and not just 2%. Awards and medals usually only signify temporary success. The true awards and medals are for those who can show consistency in their good deeds or success.
I could list countless things I've done for others, but does that entitle me to countless favors in return? I was there for some friends of mine every day for a year, to prevent them from doing anything STUPID, if you know what I mean. One of their fathers continues to thank me to this day. That's good enough for me. I spent $2,000 a few years ago to take my folks, brother and I out to see the rest of our family for Thanksgiving, the first time we'd ever done that (it's become a tradition since that day). My dad continues to bring it up at times and tells me thank you. Again, that's good enough for me. I've been there to listen to hours and hours of bickering, complaining, whining and venting about people's lives, families, friends, jobs and relationships. A simple thank you does the trick. This doesn't entitle me to bring it up five years after the fact. Five years from now, if I'm in need for some money, would it be right of me to go to my folks and say something along the lines of, "But remember when I spent all that money for us to spend Thanksgiving with the rest of our family? Come on. You owe me!" Do we all have scoreboards at home and keep track of favors we've done and received from others? Do our favors count more than others? How does this all work? I don't know the perfect formula for this scoring system.
How about we just all give each other medals and get on with it. Just by acknowledging someone's kindness or good deed should be good enough. Heck, bad deeds may far outweigh that one good deed. If someone was extremely kind off and on for a period of time, but treated you like garbage off and on for an even longer period of time, how can that person truly expect you to show never-ending gratitude for that one moment, when many other moments come to overshadow that one? If a husband saves his wife's life one time by carrying her out of a burning building, yet is abusive to her all throughout their 20 years of marriage, how is that one moment to overshadow those countless others?
We seem to like bragging about it too. Even if I were a jerk to my folks and brother rather consistently, I'd feel good about telling the story about me spending $2,000 on us to spend Thanksgiving with the family. Then, everyone who hears or reads the story will think I'm a great guy and they won't see the full picture. I'm not a jerk to them, by the way; I'm just giving a hypothetical scenario.
If we want to tell our nice stories or even the not-so-nice ones, it'd be nice to know that 100% of the picture has been painted and not just 2%. Awards and medals usually only signify temporary success. The true awards and medals are for those who can show consistency in their good deeds or success.
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