It appears as if I've gotten myself into a war of words on Tumblr due to my poking fun at Ryan Lochte and his speaking skills (or lack there of).
It all started with the following blog, which I titled, "Ryan Lochte has a way with words much like Lance Bass has a way with women."
Olympic swimmer and gold medalist Ryan Lochte apparently has a new reality show called What Would Ryan Lochte Do? My first thought upon reading the title of the show is, “I don’t know and don’t really care.”
Granted, I’ve never been one to like reality television. I’m a writer and I find “reality” television to be the laziest writing one could possibly come up with. Here’s what I envision such writers say upon deciding how to go about their show:
Chuck Tweedledee: “So, what should we do?”
Boris Tweedledum: “Let’s just put a camera somewhere and see what happens, you know?”
Tweedledee: “Like, in real life, kind of?”
Tweedledum: “Yeah, man…”
Tweedledee: “So, no writing is necessary?”
Tweedledum: “Not really”
Tweedledee: “Far out! Let’s smoke some more weed!”
While reality television by itself is an often times grueling and painful experience for me to even think about, Ryan Lochte being the centerpiece of such a show makes it doubly as excruciating for me. I’ve heard Lochte speak. If there was a book titled The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Dumb Jock, Lochte would likely be on the cover.
Of course, the critics hate the show. Thus far, it’s only received a 33 grade at Metacritic.com.
Don Kaplan of NY Daily News started his review with, “He’s superhuman in the pool but super stupid on TV.”
So, what are some of these George W. Bush-esque quotes of Lochte’s from his new show? Let me provide a few for you:
- “I’ve talked in front of … like… a lot of big business people about stuff I didn’t even know.”
That’s not hard to believe…
- “It’s spelled J-E-A-H. If you say it like how it’s spelled it’s ‘jee-ah.’ But, that’s boring; no one wants to hear that. So you have to really put that emphatis [sic] on that ‘J.’ And then the ‘A-H’ kinda just flows.”
Eh…what?
- “Something will pop up in my head. It could be like the weirdest thing. Like all’a sudden like I have like a jumping banana in my head. And I stop and pause. I’m like that d*mn jumping banana is in my head. Like, I don’t know what’s going on.”
Judging by this statement, I’m thinking a “jumping banana” is about all that’s in his head…
- “You know what? Ryan Lochte is a pretty good speechmaker.”
Ryan Lochte, I’d like you to meet your father, George W. Bush. Dubya, this is your son, Ryan Lochte.
- “What’s being talked about is ‘Ryan Lochte the American douchebag.’ Douchebag? I don’t even know what is a douchebag, like what is it? Like what is the definition? …Like I really don’t know what it means, do you know?”
Precisely… The prosecution rests, your honor…
http://www.metacritic.com/tv/what-would-ryan-lochte-do/critic-reviews
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/ryan-lochte-tv-review-article-1.1322017
http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2013/04/22/dumbest-quotes-from-ryan-lochte-reality-show/
http://www.betcheslovethis.com/article/what-would-ryan-lochte-douche-top-10-douchiest-quotes-from-the-premiere
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/77148577.html
I then received this in response from an apparent fangirl of Mr. Lochte's:
"My humble opinion and response to this:
Look around you. How many people do you see that can form sentences without using the word 'like'?
Exactly.
The number is ridiculously low. I’m sure that if you were put on camera with no script, you would be using the word just as much as Lochte uses it.
Besides, he’s an ATHLETE. He’s not payed to write eloquent speeches and give out highly quotable and clear phrases that will be handed down to our children. He’s payed to swim, and to look good on advertisements.
So, I think you’re being a bit over-critical of him. He’s a got a show because the public likes him, despite, and maybe because of, his manner of speech. Before you criticize him so roughly, get to his level of fame and achievement."
I then replied with the following:
Most of the people I know don’t use the word “like” much when speaking. They grew out of that Clueless (in reference to the film) high school phase several years ago, if they ever entered it at all. I haven’t read any studies regarding how often the word “like” is used in everyday conversation (as a space-filler), so unless either of us comes across such a study, I think it’s pretty pointless to debate the word’s frequency of use.
As far as the hypothetical scenario goes of me being in front of a camera, without a script, and uttering the word “like” as much as Mr. Lochte, that’s unprovable. I have been on the radio (without a script), however, and didn’t use the word “like” at all. So while it is unprovable for either of us to accurately predict how much I would or wouldn’t use the word “like” when placed in that before-mentioned scenario, given my history on the radio and such, I’d say the odds of me winning the lottery are better than the odds of me uttering the word “like” as much as Mr. Lochte.
Also, while it’s true Mr. Lochte is an athlete, I don’t see how that fact should refrain him from being criticized or teased by members of the media or people in general. The man is a celebrity and the star of his own “reality” television show. Both praise and criticism kind of come with the territory. Seth MacFarlane even did an impression of him on Saturday Night Live not too terribly long ago, which poked fun at Mr. Lochte’s speaking skills. The clip can be viewed here - http://www.hulu.com/watch/401526
From Jessica Simpson to George W. Bush to Ryan Lochte and beyond, poor-speaking or gaffe-prone celebrities have been getting teased for many years. Nothing personal is meant by these comments, but if it weren’t for such jokes and comments, multiple late-night talk show hosts would be out of a job.
It all started with the following blog, which I titled, "Ryan Lochte has a way with words much like Lance Bass has a way with women."
Olympic swimmer and gold medalist Ryan Lochte apparently has a new reality show called What Would Ryan Lochte Do? My first thought upon reading the title of the show is, “I don’t know and don’t really care.”
Granted, I’ve never been one to like reality television. I’m a writer and I find “reality” television to be the laziest writing one could possibly come up with. Here’s what I envision such writers say upon deciding how to go about their show:
Chuck Tweedledee: “So, what should we do?”
Boris Tweedledum: “Let’s just put a camera somewhere and see what happens, you know?”
Tweedledee: “Like, in real life, kind of?”
Tweedledum: “Yeah, man…”
Tweedledee: “So, no writing is necessary?”
Tweedledum: “Not really”
Tweedledee: “Far out! Let’s smoke some more weed!”
While reality television by itself is an often times grueling and painful experience for me to even think about, Ryan Lochte being the centerpiece of such a show makes it doubly as excruciating for me. I’ve heard Lochte speak. If there was a book titled The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Dumb Jock, Lochte would likely be on the cover.
Of course, the critics hate the show. Thus far, it’s only received a 33 grade at Metacritic.com.
Don Kaplan of NY Daily News started his review with, “He’s superhuman in the pool but super stupid on TV.”
So, what are some of these George W. Bush-esque quotes of Lochte’s from his new show? Let me provide a few for you:
- “I’ve talked in front of … like… a lot of big business people about stuff I didn’t even know.”
That’s not hard to believe…
- “It’s spelled J-E-A-H. If you say it like how it’s spelled it’s ‘jee-ah.’ But, that’s boring; no one wants to hear that. So you have to really put that emphatis [sic] on that ‘J.’ And then the ‘A-H’ kinda just flows.”
Eh…what?
- “Something will pop up in my head. It could be like the weirdest thing. Like all’a sudden like I have like a jumping banana in my head. And I stop and pause. I’m like that d*mn jumping banana is in my head. Like, I don’t know what’s going on.”
Judging by this statement, I’m thinking a “jumping banana” is about all that’s in his head…
- “You know what? Ryan Lochte is a pretty good speechmaker.”
Ryan Lochte, I’d like you to meet your father, George W. Bush. Dubya, this is your son, Ryan Lochte.
- “What’s being talked about is ‘Ryan Lochte the American douchebag.’ Douchebag? I don’t even know what is a douchebag, like what is it? Like what is the definition? …Like I really don’t know what it means, do you know?”
Precisely… The prosecution rests, your honor…
http://www.metacritic.com/tv/what-would-ryan-lochte-do/critic-reviews
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/ryan-lochte-tv-review-article-1.1322017
http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2013/04/22/dumbest-quotes-from-ryan-lochte-reality-show/
http://www.betcheslovethis.com/article/what-would-ryan-lochte-douche-top-10-douchiest-quotes-from-the-premiere
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/77148577.html
I then received this in response from an apparent fangirl of Mr. Lochte's:
"My humble opinion and response to this:
Look around you. How many people do you see that can form sentences without using the word 'like'?
Exactly.
The number is ridiculously low. I’m sure that if you were put on camera with no script, you would be using the word just as much as Lochte uses it.
Besides, he’s an ATHLETE. He’s not payed to write eloquent speeches and give out highly quotable and clear phrases that will be handed down to our children. He’s payed to swim, and to look good on advertisements.
So, I think you’re being a bit over-critical of him. He’s a got a show because the public likes him, despite, and maybe because of, his manner of speech. Before you criticize him so roughly, get to his level of fame and achievement."
I then replied with the following:
Most of the people I know don’t use the word “like” much when speaking. They grew out of that Clueless (in reference to the film) high school phase several years ago, if they ever entered it at all. I haven’t read any studies regarding how often the word “like” is used in everyday conversation (as a space-filler), so unless either of us comes across such a study, I think it’s pretty pointless to debate the word’s frequency of use.
As far as the hypothetical scenario goes of me being in front of a camera, without a script, and uttering the word “like” as much as Mr. Lochte, that’s unprovable. I have been on the radio (without a script), however, and didn’t use the word “like” at all. So while it is unprovable for either of us to accurately predict how much I would or wouldn’t use the word “like” when placed in that before-mentioned scenario, given my history on the radio and such, I’d say the odds of me winning the lottery are better than the odds of me uttering the word “like” as much as Mr. Lochte.
Also, while it’s true Mr. Lochte is an athlete, I don’t see how that fact should refrain him from being criticized or teased by members of the media or people in general. The man is a celebrity and the star of his own “reality” television show. Both praise and criticism kind of come with the territory. Seth MacFarlane even did an impression of him on Saturday Night Live not too terribly long ago, which poked fun at Mr. Lochte’s speaking skills. The clip can be viewed here - http://www.hulu.com/watch/401526
From Jessica Simpson to George W. Bush to Ryan Lochte and beyond, poor-speaking or gaffe-prone celebrities have been getting teased for many years. Nothing personal is meant by these comments, but if it weren’t for such jokes and comments, multiple late-night talk show hosts would be out of a job.
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