The Story of Big T: The Man with a Big Truck and a Big Gun

Setting: A bar by the name of Big Bulges in Climax, Georgia

Trevor Yankton: ::walks up to a lady at the bar:: "Hey good lookin'. How's about you and I go back to my truck and make-out for a while?"

Crystal Domeyah: "Excuse me? I'm not THAT easy!"

Yankton: "I thought you's was that one gal that the entire football team did, even the mascot and waterboy..."

Domeyah: "Well, yeah! ...but still... Buy me a drink and then I'll go back to your truck with you."

Yankton: "Sounds good. What would you like?"

Domeyah: "Just a Coors Light would be fine."

Yankton: "Hey, bartender, one Coors Light for my new lady friend over here."

Bartender Timothy Tebow: "Again, Crystal? How many free Coors Lights is that this month? 6? 7?"

Domeyah: "Very funny, Timmy. I've lost track, but I think this will be #26."

Tebow: "Geez... Well, have fun you two!"

Yankton: "Alright, so, let's go back to my truck, Crystal, was it?"

Domeyah: "Yeah. What's your name?"

Yankton: "Trevor, Trev, or Big T as all my girlfriends have called me, if you know what I mean..."

Domeyah: "I'm sure I do. So, which truck is yours, Big T?"

Yankton: "The biggest one out there! You see it? Right over there..."

::they walk over to Big T's big honkin' truck and hop inside::

Yankton: "So, how should we do this?"

Domeyah: "Do you have a condom?"

Yankton: "Crap! I think I left those at home."

Domeyah: "How far away do you live?"

Yankton: "Oh, just down the street, over in that really nice trailer park..."

Domeyah: "How about we go to your place then?"

Yankton: "Sounds good. Get ready to have your mind blown!"

::Big T drives his big honkin' truck to his place and the two head inside his trailer::

Yankton: "So, what do you think?"

Domeyah: "It's nice - a lot nicer than the trailer where I'm living."

Yankton: "You see? I told ya!"

Domeyah: "What is that?"

Yankton: "What's what?"

Domeyah: "That big thing over there?"

Yankton: "Oh, that's my gun. I bought the biggest one at the gun shop near here. Big T has gotta have the biggest truck and biggest gun, you know what I'm sayin'?"

Domeyah: "Indeed... So, let's cut it with the foreplay and let's put Big T into action! Where are your condoms at?"

Yankton: "My room. Follow me..."

::the two start making out::

Domeyah: "Are you ready?"

Yankton: "Oh, I was born ready! Big T is always ready!"

Domeyah: "Alright, let me see this bad boy..." ::pause:: "Where is it?"

Yankton: "Well, it's dark and stuff. Are you wearing your glasses?"

Domeyah: "I don't wear glasses and the lights are on. Where is it? Where is Big T?"

Yankton: "It's down there somewhere."

Domeyah: ::grabs a magnifying glass:: "Holy crap! That's it? That's Big T?"

Yankton: "Yeah, do you like it?"

Domeyah: ::laughs hysterically::

Yankton: "What? What's so funny?"

Domeyah: "I ain't never seen something that small! Ha! Big T! That's funny!"

Yankton: "Hey, shut up! Don't forget, I've got the biggest truck and biggest gun!"

Domeyah: "That's about all you've got. I better go. I think I'm going to give that mascot and waterboy a call. See ya later, Little T."