The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Two months ago, it became legal for those with enhanced concealed-carry permits to bring guns onto college campuses in the state of Idaho. Well, earlier this week, the new law got off to a banging good start, as in front of 20 students in the Physical Science department, an Idaho State University professor's gun went off, shooting himself in the foot in the process. The injuries were said to be non-life threatening and it's uncertain at this time whether or not the professor will be charged with a misdemeanor for discharging a firearm within city limits. When asked about the situation, Idaho State University President Arthur Vailas said, "When they passed this law it was bound to happen. [The incident is] scary and embarrassing." While it doesn't appear as if the professor has made a statement regarding the matter yet, I can only imagine that when he does, he'll say this: "Never in my life did I think I'd be able to tell people that I shot myself ...

At Jupiter Lanes in Florida yesterday, as a bowler's arm brushed up against his pocket during a back-swing, the man accidentally discharged his gun and shot himself. When this man's friends were asked if they'd ever bowl with him again, they said, "Only if he provides us with bulletproof vests and helmets." The shooter and victim of this incident then engaged in the following back-and-forth with reporters: Reporter Jebediah Fiction: "Why did you feel the need to bring a gun to the bowling alley?" Self-shooting bowler dude: "I like hunting three things - birds, deers, and bowling balls. ...and let's not forget what a brave act it was to stand up for our 2nd Amendment rights by bringing a gun into a bowling alley! I sacrificed myself for the good of this country!" Reporter Fiction: "But, you shot yourself, correct? If you hadn't have brought the gun, you would not have been shot, right?" SSBD: "I'd rather sh...