The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

A gay-friendly commercial airs at a bar MAGA: "Ugh" Me: What? MAGA: "That" :: points at the television :: Me: "That"? MAGA: "You gay or something?" Me: No, but what should it matter? MAGA: "Look, you can do whatever, but just don't shove it in my face. Keep that sh*t to yourself, okay? We don't need to be seeing all that lovey-dovey sh*t." Me: What are you watching on your phone over there? MAGA: "Lesbian porn"

I just published a brand new Substack article, titled, "Sunday School Loves the Poorly Educated." It can be found and read at the following link. -  https://substack.com/home/post/p-193410777

MAGA: "Trump had the best economy ever in his first term and it's even better in his second!" Me: Trump was the first president since Herbert Hoover, in 1933, to leave office with fewer jobs than were present when he entered it. The past three months have equaled the lowest job-creation in such a span since, wait for it, COVID. MAGA: "Fake news! Fake numbers!" Me: :: I provide evidence to prove they're accurate :: MAGA: "Whatever. It's Congress that determines jobs anyway, not the president. Besides, Trump got bad economies from both O'Bummer and Slow Joe!" Me: I thought you said presidents don't determine jobs, so how can Obama or Biden be responsible for the economies Trump inherited? MAGA: "But that's different." Me: How so? Regardless, you've got things backwards. Obama inherited the largest recession since the Great Depression. Biden inherited the worst pandemic since the Spanish flu. Guess what? Both left Trump w...

Here's a back-and-forth I had with a MAGA recently... MAGA: "The earth is flat and cancer is made up." Me: WTF are you talking about?!? The earth is round and cancer is most certainly not made up. MAGA: "You sound like a Democrat, believe everything you're told." Me: Who told you the earth was flat and cancer was made up? MAGA: "Do your own research. I did mine." Me: I'm asking you where you researched. MAGA: "That's for you to figure out." Me: Let me guess, it was some tinfoil-hat wearing conspiracy theorist on YouTube. MAGA: "You call them conspiracies. I call them truth." Me: These conspiracies have been debunked more times than Einstein could count. MAGA: "Debunk? What's that?" Me: To disprove MAGA: "Vaccines aren't cures; they treat symptoms." Me: What about polio? MAGA: "What about it? It's coming back." Me: Why is that? Anti-vaxxers. MAGA: "Modern medicine has no purp...

When out last night, I was invited to sit with a group of people at a bar patio. They had always been nice to me, but I didn't know them a great deal. The banter was light for a few minutes, but then the topic of vaccines arose, and my, oh, my, that was something. Apparently, they're all anti-vaxxers. Here's how that portion of the conversation went. MAGA #1: "Did any of you get the flu vaccine? It's so useless. I'm proud to say I never got any COVID vaccine." MAGA #2: "Same here. I don't trust the government. Did you get one?" MAGA #3: "Oh, heavens, no. Nuh uh. Did you?" Me: "Heck yes!" MAGA #1: "I just read that there's a link between the COVID vaccine and ADHD." Me: "That's false. :: shows him a study, debunking his claim ::" MAGA #1: "That's your opinion. I feel differently." Me: "No, it's been debunked. Your opinion is wrong." MAGA #1: "Whatever, dude. I kno...

It's becoming quite clear this is how the conversation went between Trump and Netanyahu 3 weeks ago. Netanyahu: "Greetings." Trump: "Peace be with everyone." Netanyahu: "Speaking of which, I want you to bomb Iran." Trump: "I'd love to, but I'm the anti-war president." Netanyahu: "Trust me, I'll make it worth your while." Trump: "Like, what, more golden showers in Russia?" Netanyahu: "Ew, no." Trump: "Hey, don't knock it unless you've sprayed it, or tried it, or something." Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..." Trump: "I'll beat loser Biden in 2020?" Netanyahu: "No." Trump: "Well, I'm not gonna lie, that's disappointing." Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..." Trump: "Ivanka won't be my daughter anymore, so she can be wife #4." Netanyahu: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Trump: "Hear what...

Here's a lovely back-and-forth I've had with MAGA cultists over the past day. Me: I've now designed 11 patriotically hilarious anti-MAGA shirts. They can all be found and purchased here. - https://when-shirts-hit-the-fan.printify.me/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJRJMFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUgO5oyCYpRybUu5UxGcIQa7ivX6qRqdTbDaz41p5_tVpq9CQYkW-VBk1Q_aem_t6MFTOP9_tuKpU4mW53dWg MAGA #1: "Can I get a Kamala Harris’s a moron and an unintelligent liar shirt too?" MAGA #2: "yeah I want one of those!" Me: You'll need to look elsewhere for that. I'd recommend checking out either MAGAProjection dot com, TrumpLied30573TimesInHisFirstTerm dot org, or InRussiaWeTrust dot gov. MAGA #1: "I’ll try. Funny how the democrats and Kamala lied about joes cognitive dysfunction? You are a party of terrorists burning tesla dealerships. Your party is pathetic and BTW you aren’t funny just poor." Me: Lots of projection in that response. Which demographic commits the most terrorist ac...

Knowing all that we do about Donald Trump, I’m picturing a scene similar to the one from the classic film, ‘Groundhog Day,’ when Phil asks Rita, “Who is your perfect man?” but instead, it’s a reporter asking the Republican Party, “Who is your perfect candidate?”      ...and action.     Reporter: “You pride yourself on being the party of: Guns, God, family values, our troops, Israel, freedom, fiscal responsibility, and keeping the government out of people’s lives. Do you feel that’s a fair description?”     GOP: “100% fair, and balanced, if I may so.”     Reporter: “You may. So, tell me, who is your perfect candidate?”     GOP: “Jesus holding a pair of rocket launchers.”     Reporter: “No, I mean, let’s go through this in a more detailed manner. Like, have you ever pretended to form the perfect quarterback? Peyton Manning’s awareness and intelligence, Dan Marino’s arm, Drew Brees’s accuracy...”     GOP: “......