The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

While I care as much/little about who the Cardinals (not those swinging bats in St. Louis) chose to be the new Pope as I do about who Justin Bieber is dating and whether or not his date is inflatable, I will be the first to admit that the word "Pope" is a fun one. So, given that, here are ten Pope-ish ideas for the future: 10. The Pope Show - Based off the Marilyn Manson song "The Dope Show," the shock rocker will sport the mitre he's worn in music videos and concerts alike to make the Pope rock harder than Moses in a Coldplay video! 9. Corn Popes - There's nothing quite like cereal named after the Pope. If you thought the regular Corn Pops were delicious, just wait until you try Corn Popes! They're delicious, nutritious, and help guys get all the b**ches! 8. Soda Pope - Nothing screams caffeine like soda in the Pope's name! Whenever someone mentions the Pope, the first thing that springs to mind is a young, bubbly person, full of energy and l...

The more stories I read and hear about organized religion, the more difficult it's becoming to see myself joining any unless some drastic changes are made. Just recently, 92-year old Bill Brennan - a Jesuit in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - was punished because last month he celebrated Mass with one Janice Sevre-Duszynska of the Association of Roman Catholic Women Priests. That's right - Catholic clergy can get punished for supporting women priests. My question for the people whom felt Brennan and others like him deserve punishment is "What would Jesus do?" Call it a hunch, but I'm guessing Jesus wouldn't say, "Well, for priests who molest little boys, I feel we should hide that for many years and try to deny that ever happened. For the clergy who show support for female priests, however, I think we need to go public with that right away, denounce their atrocious actions, and punish them severely!" Something feels contradictory with these people'...

Republican Kansas State Senate candidate Steve Fitzgerald recently told the Polish American Club that the Democratic Party has become un-Christian. When asked about this comment by The Huffington Post , Fitzgerald responded with the following: "My main point is that the Democratic platform and policies nationally are in attempt to redefine marriage in effect to say what Christ has said about marriage is a lie. Christ said marriage is between one man and one woman and the Democratic platform said that it's not true. So therefore, my point was that one cannot support the Democratic platform and be a follower of Christ. ...The contention that I said that one cannot be Catholic or Christian and a Democrat is not an unreasonable summation of what I actually said. My actual message was fix the party or leave." I'm thinking that Mr. Fitzgerald hasn't read The Bible - that or has read a different version of it. I'm guessing in this edited version, the following...