The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Someone recently shared with me an article they wrote which explained how music - namely the Beatles - saved their life. This inspired me to do something similar. I've always felt out of place. Yes, a straight, white, middle-class kid, raised in a Christian household in a Midwestern suburb always felt like an outsider.  It all started when I was 5 or 6, watching my neighbors playing tee-ball next door. I was just sitting; relaxing; and suddenly an odd, almost surreal sensation came over me. My head didn't feel right; I temporarily couldn't move nor respond; and immediately when this strange sensation passed, I ran inside and fell asleep for a few hours. Apparently my lips were purple; my mother called a neighbor who was a doctor; and this neighbor said I had experienced a seizure. Quickly thereafter, I saw a doctor; was placed on medication; and my life was back to "normal" again. Fast-forward a couple of years - the summer of '89 - and a babysitter, who I had...

I don't often get personal on here, but feel the need to do so to start the new year. I've never really been one for New Year's resolutions. This year is different, however. Last year was a bumpy, transitional year for me. For the longest time, I was battling early- to middle-life demons, from childhood sexual abuse to epilepsy to a brain tumor and subsequent surgery and beyond. I never fully dealt with the abuse I suffered as a child, for fear my attacker would come after me. This led me to depression, isolation, anxiety, and alcohol. With the help of those closest to me, I finally began the process of placing those demons behind me last year. I still have a ways to go, however, and hope I'm able to ultimately defeat said demons this year. That's my ultimate goal. I no longer want to be in any way controlled by the demons of my past. I want to finally feel like I have some control over my life. I want to be a better man, a better father, a better boyfriend, a b...

Is it just me, or does it seem like, after a certain point, birthdays become progressively more depressing? On our 16th birthday, we can celebrate getting a driver's license. On our 18th birthday, we can celebrate being able to vote (and smoke, I suppose). On our 21st birthday, we can celebrate being able to drink alcohol (well, legally). After that, there aren't too many birthdays where we can say, "We're now even more of a legal adult today!" When I hit 30, I thought to myself, "Where in the world did my 20s go?" Not much changed when I turned 31, 32, and 33, respectively. When I turned 34, however, I was officially in my mid-30s, and due to that, started feeling like I couldn't pass for being in college anymore (even though I do still occasionally get carded). My 35th birthday was significant, in that it was the midpoint between 30 and 40, the age which many label as being "over the hill." Now that I turned 36 just yesterday, I'm in ...

I know I'll likely be viewed as a holiday grump or Grinch or some may even claim that since I'm single on Valentine's Day, I'm just jealous of couples celebrating the day with one another. I can state with great clarity that the latter portion of that sentence is false. Even when I was dating, I held the same feelings about this very holiday. I find this day to be: Dull, unromantic, ridiculous and sad. Let me explain. I find it to be dull because I honestly don't see much excitement regarding the regular routine most couples go through year after year on February 14th. The man may deliver flowers (roses) to his girlfriend's/wife's workplace. On his way home from work, he may pick up a Hallmark card, some chocolates and a teddy bear, before possibly taking her out to eat. Some couples don't fall into this routine, but I know many who do and it makes me yawn just thinking about it. I'll skip to my claim that the holiday is ridiculous. It's a ca...