The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Before their Friday preseason game against the Green Bay Packers, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick drew headlines by sitting during the national anthem. Kaepernick later explained his actions, saying: "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football, and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder." This protest by the Pro Bowl quarterback has generated strong reactions both for and against, with many giving him credit for taking a stand (figuratively speaking) on an important social issue, and others decrying his actions as unpatriotic. Now, while we all have the right to voice our opinions on whether or not we feel Kaepernick was right or wrong in his words and actions, let's get one thing straight - his peaceful protest was anything but anti-American ...

The World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals is officially underway. In light of this, apparently two San Francisco radio stations (KFOG Radio and 96.5 KOIT) have decided to ban Lorde's "Royals" song until the World Series is over. Personally, I think this is kind of a silly move, but, eh, whatever. Well, based on this story, here's a list of what the city of San Francisco would likely do if the Giants faced one of the other fourteen American League teams. Baltimore Orioles - Oreos will not be sold because they sound too much like Orioles. Boston Red Sox - Anyone wearing a red stocking on their head will be banned, including Santa Claus. Chicago White Sox - No one will be allowed to wear socks. If they wear socks with flip-flops, they'll be permanently barred from the city. Cleveland Indians - IDs will be checked at the gate and for anyone with the first name of Christopher or the last name of Columbus, they'll be asked ...

There can be no mistaking it - televangelist Pat Robertson is crazier than Tom Cruise hopped up on speed while on the  Oprah Winfrey Show . He's let loose more facepalm-inducing quotes than drunken Richard Pryor-impersonating sailors have let the F-bomb slip. Robertson's latest such statement he made during a recent episode of The 700 Club , where he said this: "You know what they do in San Francisco? Some in the gay community there, they want to get people. So if they got the stuff (AIDS) they'll have a ring, you shake hands and the ring's got a little thing where you cut your finger. Really. It's that kind of vicious stuff, which would be the equivalent of murder." Yeah, that kind of thing REALLY happens, Pat. Here's how such an event would transpire: Lance Lancestopherson (the most flamboyant gay man in the world): ::ponders to himself:: "Who should I infect today with my magical AIDS ring? It's about time I get with the program and...

Wanna see an example of a man who is filled with both a tremendous amount of class and a great sense of humor? Then look no further than Republican New Hampshire state senator Andy Sanborn. While engaging in a discussion with former state Senator Ray White on WTPL-FM in Concord, New Hampshire, Sanborn said the following when he compared this past weekend's plane crash in San Francisco, which killed two people and injured over 180 others, to Obamacare: "Now that this thing (Obamacare) is barreling down on us like a jet landing into San Francisco, it's (Sanborn laughs) it should make people really concerned." The state putz, I mean senator, then told WMUR.com that he had no recollection of making such a comment. The tape was then played for him and he responded by saying, "If I offended anyone, I am sorry." "If" he offended anyone, he's sorry. Yeah, that's the sign of a genuine apology right there - and don't worry, senator, your ...