The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

What are far-right politicians' two favorite words besides impeach Obama? Let's secede! Well, one county in northern California is trying to make that happen. This past Tuesday, the Siskiyou County Board of Supervisors voted 4-1 in favor of seceding from California to form a new state called "Jefferson." The county, largely Republican, is home to 44,154 people, which accounts for about one-tenth of 1% of California's 38,041,430 residents. If Jefferson became a state, it would be given two senators just like the state of California. Jefferson's two senators would represent 22,077 residents a piece while California's senators would represent 18,998,638 residents each - 860 times the number represented in Jefferson. Why does Siskiyou County want to secede? As one member of the board of supervisors said: "[It's because of] regulation, restriction of rights, lack of representation, regionalism and restoration of limited government." Well, I...

Going into the final weekend in the college football regular season and with all the non-conference games out of the way (excluding the coming bowl games, of course), I thought I'd do my best to rank the six major conferences. The rankings could change depending on the bowl outcomes, of course. First off, I'll run down the conference standings. To the left of the team's standing in the conference will read one of the following symbols: * (bowl eligible), ? (bowl eligible with win this next week, bowl ineligible if they lose) or x (bowl ineligible). Here we go... ACC *1. Virginia Tech (11-1) *2. Clemson (9-3) *3. Florida State (8-4) *3. Georgia Tech (8-4) *3. Virginia (8-4) *6. North Carolina (7-5) *6. North Carolina State (7-5) *8. Miami (Florida) (6-6) *8. Wake Forest (6-6) x10. Boston College (4-8) x11. Duke (3-9) x12. Maryland (2-10) Big XII *1. Oklahoma State (10-1) *2. Kansas State (9-2) *2. Oklahoma (9-2) *4. Baylor (8-3) *5. Texas (7-4) *6. Miss...

On Monday, October 3rd of 2011, country music star Hank Williams Jr. showed the world that mathematics has been nothing but a lie and he's going to teach the world what math really is. On "Fox & Friends" Monday morning, co-anchor Brian Kilmeade asked Williams the following question: "Who's the enemy?" Williams responded with, "Obama and Biden! Are you kidding? The Three Stooges!" That's right, ladies and gentleman. President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden are actually three people. It makes so much sense when you think about it. After a year and 364 days have passed in a child's life, he will turn 3 that following day. It's math. It's science. It's fact. This changes so many things when you think about it... Dr. Humble: "Well, it looks like you'll be having twins!" The Thorntons: "Really? Three kids? Holy crap!" Marv Albert: "The match-up is now set. We now know the tw...