The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I've always felt out of place when stepping into a Wal-Mart. At times, especially if it's late, the place has presented me with the vibe of a drunken trailer party. There's a 97-year old greeter at the door waving like the queen and trying to say hello. As I walk about the store, mullets, overalls and buckteeth appear to be back in style. I hear more southern accents within the first five minutes than I'd heard over the previous year combined. Yes, right as I walk into a Wal-Mart, I typically feel more out of place than a nun at an orgy. For the first time in a while, a good friend of mine and I decided to take a late-night stroll in Wal-Mart. Neither of us care for the store, so we wanted to go late-night people-watching and have fun observing and poking fun at some items in the place. After walking around for approximately three hours, I have to say, Wal-Mart is a "different" kind of place. Like guns? Bow and arrows? Axes? Machetes which cost $6.88? Then...