As I find both horoscopes and MAGA humorous, I decided to write MAGA-themed horoscopes for the hell of it. Here they are. Enjoy! Aries (March 21 – April 19): On your date with Diamond on Saturday, you’re going to give her a bunch of singles and after you cum in record time, you’ll proudly shout, “Fastest ever! Winning!” Immediately after your date contends speed doesn’t equal victory, you respond, “Sex is rigged!” Taurus (April 20 – May 20): After being diagnosed by Rand Paul with Lazy AF Eye, you need some time to chill; gather your thoughts; and find your Zen. You’ll do that by going to the shooting range and screaming obscenities while opening fire on a target made to resemble Mr. Paul’s doppelganger – a Chia-Pet. When a child sees this; begins to cry; and screams, “You Chia-Pet murderer!,” you calmly yell back, “Guns don’t kill Chia-Pets; Chia-Pets kill Chia-Pets!” Gemini (May 21 – June 20): As only a true Gemini would, you decided to make your New Year’s resolution “masturbating o...
Randomness. Politics. Songs. Poetry. Short Stories. Essays. Satire. Research. Sarcasm. A mix of Jon Stewart, George Carlin, Weird Al Yankovic, The Onion, FactCheck.org, and Gandhi. former co-host of "The Tracy & Craig Show" (which had previously been called "The Tracy Fort Show") and current host of "I Feel Snitty," author of the "LOL at the GOP" series, and Donald Trump's worst nightmare (besides facts).