The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

If there's one thing we learned from the 2012 elections, it's that many male Republican candidates appear to have difficulty talking to or about women in a respectful manner. Todd Akin - "If it's a legitimate rape..." Richard Mourdock - "[Children via rape] are a gift from God." Those are just two of the many examples of male Republican candidates failing the class Smooth-Talking Women 101. In light of all these troubles, the National Republican Congressional Committee is offering tutorials to male staffers and candidates on how to better talk to and about women in a respectful manner in preparation for the 2014 elections. In light of this bit of news, I thought I'd attempt to provide some assistance to these Republican staffers and candidates. - When the topic of abortion comes up, simply say, "I don't have a giant hole down there, so I'm not sure I should be answering that question. You all know how I feel about this, but I...

First there was Todd Akin. Then there was Richard Mourdock. Now we have Arizona Representative Trent Franks taking it upon himself to discuss the matter of rape. Franks proposed a measure which would ban abortions after 20 weeks during pregnancies. This measure is currently being considered by the House Judiciary Committee. In response, Democrats have proposed an amendment to the bill which would make exceptions for rape and incest. Here's what Mr. Franks had to say about this proposed amendment: "Before, when my friends on the left side of the aisle here tried to make rape and incest the subject - because, you know, the incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low. But when you make that exception, there's usually a requirement to report the rape within 48 hours. And in this case that's impossible because this is in the sixth month of gestation. And that's what completely negates and vitiates the purpose for such an amendment." Right, becau...

I really have to wonder sometimes what people are smoking when they post some of the things they do on Facebook. I just came across another one of these "what-the-hell-is-he-smoking" posts. Someone I know just posted a sign which says the following: "Liberal Rape Tips: Urinate on yourself to ruin the rapist's mood. Conservative Rape Tips: Pull out a Glock - and make him piss HIMSELF!" Are Republicans ever going to learn it's probably best that they don't talk about rape? Between Todd "vaginas-have-a-way-to-shut-that-whole-thing-down" Akin and Richard "it's-part-of-God's-plan" Mourdock's comments about rape being the ultimate deciding factor in their Congressional losses this past November, I'd think the GOP would send a memo around, which read, "Don't talk about rape!" But, here we go, just 3.5 months after election day, hearing another lovely Republican quote about rape: "Liberal Rape Ti...

It was such a shame to see Republican Senatorial candidates Todd Akin of Missouri and Richard Mourdock of Indiana get upset in the election last night. Todd Akin's the one who talked about "legitimate rape" and that women, through their magical vaginas, could ward off rapists' sperm if they so chose, to prevent any need for an abortion. Mourdock said that if a woman got pregnant via rape, it was "something God intended." Well, upon seeing the election results, it appears as if Claire McCaskill "legitimately raped" Mr. Akin. As for Mr. Mourdock's loss, it was "something God intended."

I shouldn't be surprised by this anymore, but another Republican either already in or currently running for Congress has made an outrageous claim about rape. Earlier this year, Missouri Republican Senatorial candidate Todd Akin said that women can't get pregnant from what he termed "legitimate rape," because their vaginas had a magical power about them, which could block the passageway of the rapist's sperm and prevent pregnancy. Now it's Indiana Republican Senatorial candidate Richard Mourdock's turn to make such an asinine statement. When asked about abortion during a debate, Mourdock said: "The only exception I have to have an abortion is in the case of the life of the mother. I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen." So, according to this man, women being raped is...

How Missouri Republican Senatorial candidate Todd Akin will be able to win the vote of a single woman on election day, including any he's related or married to, is beyond me at this point. A couple months ago, Akin let the world know of a scientific breakthrough - that when women are raped, their vaginas possess magical powers to ward off any sperm which could potentially impregnate them. Due to this, abortion in the cases of rape would not be necessary. Following a debate with his opponent - Claire McCaskill - he said she wasn't very "ladylike" at the debate. Apparently, she wasn't dressed in the proper "Little-House-on-the-Prairie" attire, didn't speak to Akin like a king or place on more make-up than Gene Simmons. Mr. Akin continued his smooth-talking ways this weekend, when at a fundraiser, he said the following about his opponent - Senator Claire McCaskill: "She goes to Washington D.C., it's a little bit like one of those dogs, ...

Republicans already in or currently running for Congress certainly have made some interesting statements with regard to abortion in recent months. Missouri Senatorial candidate Todd Akin basically stated that he feels women's vaginas have magical powers and are able to block off sperm from a rapist to prevent pregnancy, negating any need for an abortion in the cases of rape. In Thursday night's debate with Democrat Tammy Duckworth, Illinois Representative Joe Walsh said the following with regard to abortion if the mother's health was in jeopardy: "With modern technology and science, you can't find one instance... There's no such exception as life of the mother. And as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology, health of the mother has become a tool for abortions anytime under any reason." Again, here is another man who is extremely ignorant when it comes to women's health and abortions. In the United States,...

Missouri Republican Senatorial candidate - Todd Akin - most well known for his "legitimate rape" comments, appears to have had a long-running history of making outlandish statements regarding abortion. On the House floor in 2008, he said the following: "It is no big surprise that we fight the terrorists because they are fundamentally un-American, and yet we have terrorists in our own culture called abortionists. One of the good pieces of news why we are winning this war is because there are not enough heartless doctors being graduated from medical schools. There is a real shortage of abortionists. Who wants to be at the very bottom of the food chain of medical profession? And what sort of places do these bottom-of-the-food-chain doctors work in? Places that are really a pit. You find that along with the culture of death go all kinds of other law-breaking: not following good sanitary procedure, giving abortions to women who are not actually pregnant, cheating on taxes...

Missouri Republican Senatorial candidate, Todd Akin, is at it again. If that man weren't a politician, judging by his words, I'd think he was a porn star. Let's be honest - the man knows how to smooth-talk a woman.  About a month ago, Akin said the following with regard to abortion in the cases of rape: “It seems to be, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, it’s really rare.  If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down. ” Not long after that asinine statement was made, Akin's opponent - Democratic incumbent Claire McCaskill (yes, of course - his opponent is a woman) - made a move in the polls, from down quite a ways to essentially even. Well, ladies, Akin is at it again. The man is smoother than a gravel road filled with porcupines. Following the candidates' debate last week, Akin said this: "I think we have a very clear path to victory, and apparently Claire McCaskill thinks we do, too, because sh...

This is kind of old news by now, but the fact of the matter is, the stupidity of the comments made me speechless. I know - hard to believe, right? When Missouri Republican Senatorial candidate, Todd Akin, made his thoughts known on abortion, he became a household name and that wasn't a good thing for him. That old saying that any publicity is good publicity was proven to be inaccurate by Mr. Akin. The Senate candidate, when asked about abortion in the cases of rape, he said, "First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." No, I still can't believe those comments either and it's been about three weeks. I highly recommend that Mr. Akin takes a series of sexual education and human anatomy courses. Hopefully, to go along with these mandatory classes, he doesn't take an elective called Vagina Magic 101. Of course, if he takes...