The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

In March, I decided to head to the bars and drink alcohol. It was the first time I had drank alcohol in the new year (49 days). So, no, I'm not a drunk. However, it seems when I have a few drinks in an evening, there's a 50/50 chance I'll wake up feeling guilty about it. The same was true that following morning. I think it may be due to the fact someone very close to me has a problem with alcohol, so when I do drink, it instills a fear in me that I will one day become like him with regard to my consuming of alcohol. Also, it makes me feel guilty for being like him for even a single evening and that's the last thing I want to do. I'm typically very happy after I've had a few adult soda pops. I become an exaggerated version of my sober self. But, when thinking back to an alcohol-filled evening, I feel guilt about not fully being myself, from being influenced by a foreign substance. I wasn't drunk, but was dang close and wound up calling someone fairly late...