The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

To start his radio program yesterday, the man trying to make tinfoil sexy again, Glenn Beck, said this: "Transgender bathrooms have come out of nowhere and are being jammed down our throat. I guarantee you, I guarantee you the next stop on this train is pedophilia. They will normalize pedophilia." The slippery slope is a commonly used fallacy right-wing media personalities and politicians have resorted to over the years, especially when it comes to the LGBT community. When the debate was over gay marriage, these individuals would say, "If we legalize gay marriage, what next? Are we going to legalize polygamy? Bestiality? Pedophilia?" Now, I could potentially see polygamy being legalized, because like with marriages between heterosexual and homosexual couples, the relationship is between consenting adults. That isn't the case with regard to bestiality and pedophilia, however, which makes the comparison ludicrous. Similarly, Glenn Beck's slippery slope, as...

Glenn Beck is about as reliable with the reporting of news as mimes are of reporting anything. Even his tamest of conspiracy theories are enough to provide Critical Thinking professors across the country with massive migraines. Even though it appears as if Beck is void of brain cells and has instead substituted them with crazy cells, and should have been placed in a loony bin a long time ago, he reached a new low recently - yes, even for him. During a program of his on the Blaze , host Stu Burguiere attacked recent studies which alleged that approximately 1 in every 5 women have been raped. He claimed that President Obama and the government are manipulating the numbers to make the problem appear to be worse than it actually is. He then brought two men out to poke fun of the studies and victims of sexual assault. One was supposedly a male Abercrombie & Fitch model and the other was a man dressed as the stereotypical ditsy, blonde woman. The male model then turns to the "wom...

Glenn Beck is at it again - spreading stupidity, I mean, conspiracies (there's often times a thin line between the two). It appears as if Beck believes the government might be lying about Secretary of State John Kerry's wife (Teresa Heinz Kerry) being recently hospitalized. Beck has criticized Kerry for allegedly being on his boat in Nantucket while the chaos in Egypt unfolded last week. The State Department responded to the photographs showing Kerry on his boat by saying the following: "While he (Kerry) was briefly on his boat on Wednesday, Secretary Kerry worked around the clock all day including participating in the President's meeting with his national security council." Beck then responded to both this and the news about Kerry's wife in this manner: "Instead of telling you the truth, [the government] says [Kerry] is definitely not on his boat. Until the pictures actually show up and then, 'Okay, he was on his boat.' And you expect m...

Whenever a pro-gay rights decision is made, I love to hear the far-right's reactions. They're typically crazier than Looney Tunes characters eating Cocoa Puffs while tripping acid. That very trend continued today in light of the Supreme Court's decision to strike down DOMA. Here are some of my favorite such reactions, and my smart aleck commentary to each: Michigan Representative Tim Walberg: "For the best interest of society itself ... we have defined a marriage between a man and woman in the interest of those children... Society itself is at risk." Yes, because in light of this ruling, every state in the country is going to legalize same-sex marriage tomorrow - even Alabama, Oklahoma, Wyoming, and Utah - and every person in this county, whether straight, gay, or bi, will marry someone of the same sex in the next 48 hours. Every person in every couple will remain 100% faithful to the other and there will not any kind of reproduction for the remainder of Ameri...

It can now be confirmed as official - Republican New Hampshire state House Representative Stella Tremblay has all the answers regarding the Boston Marathon bombing. Appearing on The Pete Santilli Show , Representative Tremblay filled the world in on her vast knowledge of the tragedy, saying: "I went to Infowars and I started opening my eyes. I thought, you know, Alex Jones, everyone says he's crazy, but perhaps there's some truth to this. And the more I looked at this, in my heart, something told me there's something wrong here. You just have to look at that backpack and you can see. If there's an explosion, the backpack is blown to smithereens. There's nothing left. What was it doing just laying there? Then, my first gut reaction seeing the horror of that person that has their legs blown off. You know, the bone sticking out? He was not in shock. I looked and I thought there's something... I don't know what's wrong, but it seems surreal to ...

I've never been a fan of Fox News, from Sean Hannity to Bill O'Reilly to Brit Hume to the morning crew and beyond (Shepard Smith being the lone exception), but Glenn Beck is another beast entirely. While Hannity and O'Reilly make me shake my head at their angry rhetoric and heavy slant, Beck simultaneously frightens me and makes me laugh. I laugh at the man and his show because the majority of what he says is so outlandish and ridiculous, his words and actions come across to me as over-the-top comedy more than anything. However, the fact that so many people listen to this guy and take his words seriously, that frightens me a bit. Beck is quite a fan of the chalkboard and using the chalkboard to connect the dots of people and events to form a conspiracy. He's drawn links between different Democrats and the likes of Adolf Hitler, Stalin, etc. There are times when there are so many different lines drawn on the chalkboard, connecting one person and event to another, it ...

Okay, I'm going to give it a go. I've never been able to understand how Glenn Beck comes up with the ideas he does. So, I'm going to attempt to become one with Glenn Beck, crawl inside that noggin of his and see what I can come up with. Alright... ::closes eyes, takes deep breaths, listens to Metallica:: For my first connection, I will show you that without any hesitation, we can conclude there's a direct link connecting Hillary Clinton, Sean Penn and Mystic River. There's no mistaking which way Hillary Clinton leans on the political spectrum. She's a left-wing loony, much like actor Sean Penn. If you didn't realize this, Sean Penn starred in the film "Mystic River" and this means only one thing - Hillary Clinton drowned someone in a river! There should be a full investigation into this criminal act and I am going to be the one leading the way to her conviction and life sentence! How about if I connect four? Today I'm going to draw a li...