The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I love old grumpy neighbors. One such neighbor lives across the street, is retired, and if he had to list his top hobby and was honest about it, it'd be complaining. Just a few days ago, I was walking my dog around the area and this very neighbor started talking to me. It was garbage day and he was asking if there were some lights on the driveway which somehow broke and wound up in his yard and on the street next to his yard. I knew this wasn't the case and told him of this, but he didn't seem to believe me. He obviously wanted someone to clean up the mess. A day later, with the help of family, we cleaned up the mess, even though it wasn't ours. Yesterday, I bumped into him again as I was walking my dog and he said he owed me a thank you. I said it wasn't a problem, but again let him know the lights weren't mine. He then seem puzzled on why we cleaned up the mess, and I responded, "Oh, just being nice." I think this made him guilty, for he gave a...

Well, following that threat my mom and I received at the expense of a crabby old man a while back as we walked our two dogs, to my surprise (kind of), my mom went back over to talk with him. When she came back home, she told me all about it, yet I kept hearing bits and pieces of new information as the day and night wore on. First off, she was telling me how he's actually a nice man (I don't believe this) and a lover of animals (I'm not sure about this either). But right when she stopped by, he was ranting about how if someone uses their dog to tease his dog, then he's going to use his dog to tease their dog. He continued to go off about how he's been watching me for 6 months and knows that I was teasing the dog next door and enjoying it. I was wearing a shirt that I dedicated to him and people like him. It's a picture of Stewie from the show "The Family Guy," where he says, "I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total idiot." ...