The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It's being reported by The Bismark Tribune  that white supremacist Craig Cobb, who recently found out he's part black, was arrested over the weekend, and along with fellow neo-Nazi Kynan Dutton, has been charged with three counts of terrorizing. The men were roaming about Leith, North Dakota holding a rifle and a shotgun when residents called the authorities. Prior to being taken into custody, Cobb sent The Bismark Tribune  this text message: "Because of the many violences (sic) and harassments against we (sic) and the children, we have commenced armed patrols of Leith." Based on Cobb's message, it appears as if most of the "violences" and "harassments" are being committed by Mr. Cobb himself - on the English language. After Cobb is released, I imagine him engaging in the following discussion with a reporter: Reporter Annabelle Jezebel: "So, what do you have to say for yourself now that you've been temporarily released?" ...

It appears as if George Zimmerman is in trouble yet again. He was arrested yesterday afternoon and charged with aggravated assault with a weapon, battery-domestic violence, and criminal mischief, for allegedly pointing his shotgun at his girlfriend, Samantha Scheibe, and threatening her after she told him to get out of the house, gathered his belongings, and threatened to call the police. In September, Zimmerman was accused by his wife Shellie of doing something similar after she gathered her belongings and moved out of their home. He's also been pulled over three times since the Trayvon Martin ruling - receiving one speeding ticket and two warnings. In light of this bit of news, the George Zimmerman Fan Club - Fox News - will likely respond with the following quotes: - "George Zimmerman is the last alpha-male." - "You see? Guns DON'T kill people; they just scare the ever living crap out of them!" - "Meet the most misunderstood man in America ...

Dylan Grall - a 23-year old man from Janesville, Wisconsin - was recently arrested for battery, with a hate-crime enhancer, because he reportedly yelled at two Hebrew-speaking men to speak English, and struck both of them, before later telling police he thought they were speaking Spanish. Not only does it appear that Mr. Grall is a racist, but it also seems like his prime source for reading material are coloring and pop-up books. Here now is a list of crimes Grall will likely commit in the future: - Assault a Latino-American, later saying, "I thought he was an Asian person guy!" - Shoot a Buddhist, saying, "I thought he was a Museum - you know, an evil A-rab!" - Sexually harass a woman, saying, "I thought she was a dude!" Even though Mr. Grall yelled at a couple of Hebrew-speaking men to speak English, I have a hunch he wouldn't score very high if he were given an English test right about now... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/27/hate...

Michael Kempfer's wife has had an interesting past week. She married the 21-year old man and then set out for their honeymoon in Florida. After Michael left the hotel and had been gone for a while, his wife reported him as missing. Where was the new husband? Off to meet a prostitute he had been talking to online, only to find out she was an undercover officer. I'm sure after Michael's wife heard the story and spoke to him in jail, she was told by her husband, "Look - nothing happened! I swear!" The Vegas odds are at 1 : 10,979,428,366,111 that the line worked. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/samuel-yoon-youth-minister_n_3272619.html

Former Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young is not having a good week. He was arrested twice two Sundays ago for driving under the influence and for attempting to take his car from a tow yard. Well, Titus Young is back to his old tricks, as yesterday he was arrested yet again, this time for attempted burglary, assaulting a police office, and resisting arrest. So, yeah, just remember, no matter how bad your week has been, be grateful you're not Titus Young! http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9267427/ex-detroit-lions-receiver-titus-young-arrested-third-week

I think that whenever someone is having a bad day, they should read the following article concerning former Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young getting arrested twice in a 15-hour span, and realize perhaps things aren't so bad after all. If this very person got arrested three times in a single day, however, the Titus Young article will be replaced with one about them and a similar blog shall be repeated with their name.   http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9252657/ex-detroit-lions-receiver-titus-young-arrested-twice-15-hour-span