The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Approximately two out of three times I write about technology and trends, I start to feel like a grumpy old man. It's even reached a point where, after writing such a blog, I look in the mirror to make sure I haven't transformed into Jack Lemmon or Walter Matthau. The latest such case is with regard to Facebook and people whom feel the need to share everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about their love lives. I can understand wanting to share certain events with close friends and family, such as a wedding or baby announcement, but there is such a thing as too much in my opinion. I don't need to be taken on every date of a couple's journey, like it's some sort of reality series. As a matter of fact, that's what it often feels like to me - a phony reality series. Why does there seem to be a need for people to crave others' acceptance of their romantic lives, even those they may not have seen for 10-20 years? Are Facebook "likes" and comments really of...

Just last night, I spoke to a friend about a date he had the other night. It was a blind date a mutual friend of theirs had sent them up on. They had talked over the phone and texted quite a bit over the course of the past week, things appeared to be going very well, and she even told him how great she thought he was and that she really liked him. While he thought the date went really well (it was actually her idea) and they had tentative plans for a follow-up date, she texted him with the message, "I think you're a great guy, but I don't really see this going anywhere." Ah, the ol' "...but..." line. The "...but..." line never seems to go out of style, does it? Like my friend, I've heard this line uttered to me on a number of occasions. It's as if people feel that they're being nice by using the line - that it will lighten the blow and rid them of the guilt that goes along with the rejection. - "You're really nice, BUT ...

On Saturday night, I went out with my dad to a local pub to see a band perform. While there, we bumped into a buddy of ours, who, at one point, said a certain lady was giving him the eye. So, when the two of them went outside to smoke and talk, she flirted with him, before out of the middle of nowhere, a massive man walked towards them, gave the woman a big hug and kiss, and in response, she said, "I've missed you." Our buddy then walked in, told us the story, and said, "Why lead me on like that? Why not just say her boyfriend, or whatever he is, was on the way? I would've then left her alone and started looking elsewhere." So, why do she and others lead people on? Since everyone is different, and due to that, there can be no universal reason as to why people lead others on, I do think there are a few common reasons why some people do this. 1. Attention - When some people notice that another has taken a liking to them, they may flirt and almost egg them on...

A good buddy of mine has recently fallen victim to the moving-fast-and-then-pulling-back strategy in the world of dating. While I feel bad for him, I know that parting ways with his wife will be better for him in the long-term. Unfortunately, many people attempt to conquer this strategy, and most fall very short of their goals. When it comes to my friend, he was dating a woman for less than a year, the two of them were in college - just young and having fun - when she got pregnant. Since he was working for her father at the time, he felt stuck, and almost forced into asking her hand in marriage. He wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. But given the circumstances, he felt it was something he had to do. They then had to work backwards and tried getting to know one another better, and hoped that they actually liked what they discovered about the other. Unfortunately, having the child and focusing all their attention on him, they weren't able to really discover their true feelings...

Earlier today, I read an article entitled, "Want To Kill A Conversation? Ask Someone What They Do," written by Carolyn Gregoire of The Huffington Post  and I found it to be quite interesting. While I think "kill" might be a bit strong in most cases, I think the writer does have a point. In the article, Ms. Gregoire lays down the reality that while some people may be happy with and proud of their jobs, many are not, and in our country especially, there seems to be a tendency to judge one based on his or her profession and see the person as their profession. Ms. Gregoire closes her article with this: "Some people love what they do and find deep meaning in their careers, while others are happy to have jobs that pay the bills so that they can pursue their passions outside work. And still others have not had the freedom and financial means to pursue meaningful careers. In any case, who we are is a far more complex and wonderful thing than what we do." S...

I got to talking to someone last week about how man and women tend to think differently. While men tend to be more black-and-white thinkers, women tend to think more in shades of grey, and while men seem to be more inclined to do their thinking and expressing with their mind(s - yes, the lower one at times too), women tend to exude more emotion when it comes to expression. These generalizations are just that, of course, since I know some women whom don't exude much emotion and tend to think in black-and-white terms, and know some men, such as myself, whom tend to think more in shades of grey. While she didn't dismiss the notion that these observations are generally accurate, she said guys tend to be more shades-of-grey thinkers with the topic of sex. She then rattled off some examples, such as, "Guys will say, 'It's not cheating if the woman is in a different area code or zip code.' That's not black-or-white thinking at all." At this, I had to chuckl...

I find many dating site commercials to be humorous, but none more so than those dedicated to the site ChristianMingle.com . The site's tagline is, "Find God's match for you." Whenever I hear or read this tagline, I immediately have to laugh. Even though I don't believe in it personally, let's assume for a second that there is such a thing as predestination. Do the creators of this site truly believe that the match God has found for us wasn't in a church, at school, at work, at Bible study, but on a dating website called ChristianMingle.com ? Does this mean if one doesn't meet their match on this site, he or she is going against God's wishes? That the match they found isn't God's match? Yes, I can really imagine the following conversation occurring during the time The Bible was written: God: "It's so nice to control everything. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Am I right, or am I right?" Aid: ...

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...

I recently read an article entitled "Why 'Normal' Is Such A Catch," and it befuddled, yet humored me, so I thought I'd share the experience with readers. Regardless of whether or not I'm dating someone at the time, I find it painfully humorous (yes, there is such a thing) to read articles surrounding dating/love advice. Why? Because they're typically more cliche-ridden than a film released on Valentine's Day by the name of Hallmark Card , and while I typically loathe cliches, I also often times find them to be unintentionally humorous due to how ridiculous they come across, especially if taken from a literal rather than a figurative angle. The author of the before-mentioned article is a "dating coach" and authored a book by the title of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life . ...and the award for most horoscope-sounding book title of the year goes to... So, back to the article, where Marina Sbrochi writes the following:...

Unless something crazy happens in the next couple days, this will be the first Valentine's Day in quite some time where I will be involved with someone. There's really only been one other woman I was involved with during this holiday and that occurred over a decade ago. Oddly enough, my feelings about Valentine's Day have been extremely consistent through the years, with my dating status being completely irrelevant. I'm just going to come right out and say it - I cannot stand Valentine's Day. I couldn't stand it a decade or so ago when I was seeing a woman for a couple years. I couldn't stand it when I was single. I can't stand it now that I've been seeing someone for going on six months. I have a feeling I won't be able to stand it for my remaining years. I know, I know. Feel free to hurl the Grinch-esque labels at me, call me cheap, describe me as a whiner, or as being anti-romance. People can say whatever they want about guys whom don'...

I don't typically post about this kind of thing, but thought it may aid at least one person out there who may be in a relationship and uncertain if he/she wants things to continue. Due to an awful relationship from what seems like my distant past, the moving transition from Nebraska to Ohio that took place 4+ years ago, and a mysterious two-year illness I battled, it took an extremely long time for me to date again or even get interested in it. After I began feeling well again in early 2011, I suddenly felt a new-found sense of joy, aspiration, hope, and appreciation I hadn't felt before. I felt a drastic change in myself following my healing from the ailment. I can only imagine what others saw. Prior to my recovering from the illness, I had always been extremely shy and insecure around women I liked. I feared rejection if I were to ask them out. I feared making things awkward if they said no, and wondering if we'd be able to maintain a friendship. I feared getting my f...

How can you save your marriage? By being more honest? Working harder? Seeing a counselor? Listening better? Not according to social scientist, Catherine Hakim. In her new book, entitled, "The New Rules: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power," Hakim lays claim that a marriage can be saved by having an affair. That's right, husbands and wives, go out and cheat on your spouse! Woo-hoo! As Rodney Dangerfield said in Caddyshack , "Everyone's gonna get laid!" Hakim writes the following in her book, comparing sex to dining: "The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues. Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognize the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home." She also stated that the first rule of having an affair is to "...

I love when talking to a person about their relation, they refer to it as "complicated" and refuse to talk about it anymore. To me, this translates to - "I'm sorry, but you wouldn't understand, so there's really no point in my telling you the story. What Zorro and I are going through has never been experience in the history of mankind. So, like I said, it's complicated - you just wouldn't understand." I find this especially amusing, because anyone over a certain age, whom has experienced a long-term relationship, will likely understand the gist of what someone is going through, no matter how "complicated" it is. Whenever someone says, "Oh, it's complicated," I want to reply with, "Eh, I doubt it. So, what's the story?"

Know anyone who seems to constantly clamor that they hate drama? They dramatically exclaim they hate drama? Yeah, me too. I often times find with these very people that they're the most dramatic of the bunch. It's almost as if they're attempting to persuade the masses (including themselves) they're not dramatic by repeatedly claiming they're not (the mere-exposure effect). However, in due time, when people actually spend time with them, they'll discover the truth. I also often times find that these people try to evade drama at all costs, which only results in escalating tension and a once light-hearted drama will eventually become Shakespeare. I don't know TOO many people whom enjoy drama, but repeatedly making that claim won't convince anyone of this and may make them wonder, "What are they hiding?" At the same time, evading drama in an attempt to avoid drama, will likely result in greater drama than one would have faced if they had confro...

I witnessed a woman breaking up with her boyfriend via text last night. I imagine this is becoming more and more common. I have been on the receiving end of that via e-mail before (and telephone). While I think it's bad enough to break up with somebody over the telephone, I think it's ten times worse to do this over an e-mail or a text when the person's not allowed to hear the other's voice, respond right away, etc. I just think it's weak. It's the easy way out. It makes it so the aggressor in the break-up doesn't have to face the other, doesn't have to look him/her in the eyes, and actually tell them to their face that things are over. They don't even have to hear the other's voice. I just think it's weak, disrespectful and immature. I think if a person truly cared for another, at least at one point, they'd have the strength and respect to actually sit down and talk to them about it, as opposed to leaving a message and walking away as if...

I'm curious to see a study regarding what I'm about to share and how accurate it is. It's been difficult for me to date since I moved to Ohio from Nebraska. Upon moving here about 4 years ago, I didn't know anyone. I've been working at home, so it's difficult for me to really meet people out at work. I don't go to church. I haven't been greatly involved in the community. I'll go out on weekends, but it can be difficult going to bars by yourself or with family and meeting a woman. So I resorted to this free online friend-making/dating site to try and meet some people. I've only really been active these past 4.5 months, I'd say. I've made a couple of "okay" friends - meaning we might comment on one another's Facebook pages, but that's about as far as it goes. The longer I stay on that site, the more I'm beginning to realize a few things, such as it seems that most men are on there just for sex and most women are on the...

So, I got into an interesting conversation last night. As usual with this person, I took on the role as the shrink and her as my patient. This individual has even joked before about paying me for providing this very service. When we got to talking about her potential male dating prospects, she became more defensive than I've ever seen a person (well, it's close with one another - but I think even she pulls slightly ahead of him). Earning three degrees in psychology, this conversation both fascinated and frustrated me. While she was pointing out what she determined to be flaws of these two men and reasons why she was hesitant on pursuing anything with either of them, I reiterated her statements and build upon them to make an even stronger case that she should be careful with both, if not just totally dismiss them and look elsewhere. After these statements, she became Ms. Defensive and I found it intriguing at first, but later found it to be rather frustrating and annoying. H...

I find many women to be alluring, regardless of ethnicity, age or even physique. As the saying goes, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and this is just from a surface standpoint. Beauty penetrates far deeper than the exterior of a human being. However, just from a physical standpoint, I've really come to learn that I am extremely attractive to Asian women. I don't know what it is exactly. I went on one date with a Cambodian woman a couple months ago. I'm not sure I've seen a more beautiful woman in person before. I started talking to a woman originally from Pakistan and another from Bangladesh - both extraordinarily beautiful. I'm a regular at Thai and especially Indian restaurants and typically find many physically appealing women there. Perhaps I was born to be Asian. Who knows? ::laughs::. I'm so pasty, however, it's obvious this did not happen. I'm thinking maybe I should join an Asian dating site. Whether or not I'm the most pasty male on the...

I'm sure most people after a certain age have been through at least one occasion with a friend when they're stuck in not knowing what to do or say to them. It's a difficult situation to be in sometimes. What does a "real" friend do? Does a "real" friend always stand by and support their friend's decision, regardless if they agree with it or not? Does a "real" friend make his or her voice known if they don't agree with said friend's decision? Is it possible to find a middle ground between those two options? It's so difficult, because I don't think there's really a singular right way to go about it. In the end, it's the other person making the decision. We, as friends, can say as much as we'd like and may very well wind up influencing a friend's final decision, yet in the end, they're the ones with the ultimate say. So is it really worth potentially damaging or losing a friendship by making your voice kno...

I kind of had my feelings hurt last night. I know didn't mean anything negative by it and was only trying to help, but when she and I traded stories regarding our love lives/dating interests, while I felt I gave some rather thoughtful insights, she provided me with nothing but a series of cliches. I know people mean well when they go that route, but to me, when someone does that, it tells me that they either don't really know what to say so instead of saying next to nothing in the literal sense, they go this route and in my mind say next to nothing in the figurative, or that they aren't really interested in getting into a long-discussion about matters so they feel the cliches are a good-enough type of band-aid to place over the wound(s). In either case, I just wish a person would be up-front and honest about it and either say, "I really don't know what to tell you" or "I'm really not in the mood to discuss this right now. Can we talk about it some...