Earlier today, I read an article entitled, "Want To Kill A Conversation? Ask Someone What They Do," written by Carolyn Gregoire of The Huffington Post and I found it to be quite interesting.
While I think "kill" might be a bit strong in most cases, I think the writer does have a point. In the article, Ms. Gregoire lays down the reality that while some people may be happy with and proud of their jobs, many are not, and in our country especially, there seems to be a tendency to judge one based on his or her profession and see the person as their profession.
Ms. Gregoire closes her article with this:
"Some people love what they do and find deep meaning in their careers, while others are happy to have jobs that pay the bills so that they can pursue their passions outside work. And still others have not had the freedom and financial means to pursue meaningful careers. In any case, who we are is a far more complex and wonderful thing than what we do."
She then gives advice on how to better start a conversation:
"There are a million ways to start a conversation. If you're not sure how, here are a few ideas about to get things rolling:
- Give a compliment
- Comment on something awkward about the situation you're both in
- Launch right into a funny story and hope for the best"
I think another reason why many people get turned off when getting asked about what they do for a living is the fact this job has been consuming almost every minute of their time for that day and week, and their thoughts would like to travel elsewhere for at least a temporary getaway. It reminds me of when I was in school. After being at school for 6+ hours, usually the last thing I wanted to talk about was my school day. When my parents asked me, "How was school?," I'd typically respond with a one-word answer, such as, "Fine..." Not unless something great or out of the ordinary occurred did I really care to discuss my day, at least not right once I got home. The same goes for work usually. After working 10+ hours a day for a week, if I meet up with someone at a bar or restaurant to chat and get to know one another, I feel like I'm finally away from work, want to take a mental vacation of sorts, , chat about random things, make one another laugh, and have a good time. Would it "kill" the conversation if she asked me right away what I did for a living? No. However, I'd likely pause, sigh, bring my mind back to reality from its ever-so-short-lived vacation, and hope that my answer would suffice and we could move on to something else.
There will be plenty of time to talk about work when two people start getting to know each other, but especially right away, it's nice to try and show the other person we're more than just our work. As the writer of the before-mentioned article said, and I completely agree with, "In any case, who we are is a far more complex and wonderful thing than what we do."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/the-one-question-to-stop-_n_4171266.html
While I think "kill" might be a bit strong in most cases, I think the writer does have a point. In the article, Ms. Gregoire lays down the reality that while some people may be happy with and proud of their jobs, many are not, and in our country especially, there seems to be a tendency to judge one based on his or her profession and see the person as their profession.
Ms. Gregoire closes her article with this:
"Some people love what they do and find deep meaning in their careers, while others are happy to have jobs that pay the bills so that they can pursue their passions outside work. And still others have not had the freedom and financial means to pursue meaningful careers. In any case, who we are is a far more complex and wonderful thing than what we do."
She then gives advice on how to better start a conversation:
"There are a million ways to start a conversation. If you're not sure how, here are a few ideas about to get things rolling:
- Give a compliment
- Comment on something awkward about the situation you're both in
- Launch right into a funny story and hope for the best"
I think another reason why many people get turned off when getting asked about what they do for a living is the fact this job has been consuming almost every minute of their time for that day and week, and their thoughts would like to travel elsewhere for at least a temporary getaway. It reminds me of when I was in school. After being at school for 6+ hours, usually the last thing I wanted to talk about was my school day. When my parents asked me, "How was school?," I'd typically respond with a one-word answer, such as, "Fine..." Not unless something great or out of the ordinary occurred did I really care to discuss my day, at least not right once I got home. The same goes for work usually. After working 10+ hours a day for a week, if I meet up with someone at a bar or restaurant to chat and get to know one another, I feel like I'm finally away from work, want to take a mental vacation of sorts, , chat about random things, make one another laugh, and have a good time. Would it "kill" the conversation if she asked me right away what I did for a living? No. However, I'd likely pause, sigh, bring my mind back to reality from its ever-so-short-lived vacation, and hope that my answer would suffice and we could move on to something else.
There will be plenty of time to talk about work when two people start getting to know each other, but especially right away, it's nice to try and show the other person we're more than just our work. As the writer of the before-mentioned article said, and I completely agree with, "In any case, who we are is a far more complex and wonderful thing than what we do."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/the-one-question-to-stop-_n_4171266.html
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