The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I'm hearing a report (in my head no less) that drug-addled Carl Pelini will head back to Nebraska to push for medicinal marijuana so his brother can simmer down a bit while on the sideline. Bo Pelini before getting prescribed marijuana: "It took everything in my power to not say, 'F*** you, fans. F*** all of you.' F*** 'em. Our crowd. What a bunch of f***ing fair-weather f***ing—they can all kiss my a*s out the f***ing door. 'Cause the day is f***ing coming now. We'll see what they can do when I'm f***ing gone. I'm so f***ing pissed off." Bo Pelini after getting prescribed marijuana: "It took everything in my power to not say, 'I love you, fans. I f***ing love all of you.' Our crowd - what a bunch of beautiful people. So, so precious and beautiful. So what if they left at halftime? I know what they're doing. They're probably toking it up right about now - for medical reasons, of course. God, I f***ing love them, so much...