The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

With his younger brother struggling in the polls, former President George W. Bush has decided to mentor Jeb while on the campaign trail. At this point it's unknown whether or not the former president has made an impact, positive or negative, on his younger brother's standing in the polls. However, when we caught up with the former president, here's what he had to tell us about the situation and the words of advice he had for Jeb: "Little Jeb called me one day and said, 'Bro, I need your help. You got elected a couple times. Could you help me get elected once or twice?' I said, 'Yes, of course. You're my big brother.' He quickly corrected me that I was the older one, but anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah... So I gave him a few pointers to follow to improve his chances on winning the Republican primary and becoming the next President of the United States of America. Here were some of my pointers: - 'Before you win the primary or the...

As most of the country (and world) should know by now, if there's one person a Republican politician shouldn't mirror as far as speech-giving goes, it's former President George W. Bush. The guy has had more jokes told about his speech-gaffes than Snoop Dogg has smoked joints. Well, Mitt Romney recently attempted to go against that common wisdom and become one with his innermost Bush while speaking at the CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) this past Friday. On February 4th of 2005, when speaking to a divorced mother of three in Omaha, Nebraska, former President Bush said this - "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." Yes, I cringed while reading that also... As noted, Romney gave his best Bush impersonation by saying the following at CPAC on Friday: "Single moms who are working two jobs so their kids can have the same kind of [things] other kids at school have. Dads ...

Here are, in my opinion, the top 100 George W. Bush quotes (Bushisms) and underneath them in italics will be a smart aleck remark responding to each quote. Keep in mind, these are responses to the quote, so if the president says "you" in his quote, like he's talking to me and others, I may respond with "you" in my comment as well. This "you" is not directed toward the reader, just to the former president. So, don't take anything I say personally, unless you're Mr. Bush, then I can completely understand. 100. "This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mential losses." - At a South Carolina oyster roast, as quoted in the Financial Times , Jan. 14, 2000 - With saying that, it sounds like the president has had his share of "mential" losses. 99. "Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one." - George W. Bush, on William F. Buckley, Al Smith Dinner, New York City, Oct. 19...