The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

In case anyone's interested in joining me in this evening's festivities, I will be live-tweeting during Donald Trump's first State of the Union speech tonight. Let's laugh, fact-check, and persuade borderline Trumpsters to finally see the light by coming on over to the dark side! Join me at 9 pm EST here:  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki

My latest book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title , can now be found on and purchased for your Kindle for just $2.99 at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Collection-Satirical-Short-Stories-Clever-ebook/dp/B0798JJ1XV/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1517072646&sr=1-10

Shots are fired, Blurred with the drums and bass, Until 909 are injured or killed, Let's have a moment of silence, Lying to the American public, As we send our children off to war, Whenever one of our soldiers has fallen, "Let's have a moment of silence," Twenty kids shot and killed, Six adults as well, As sadness and fear run rampant, Let's have a moment of silence, An accidental overdose, Friendly-fire, A mass shooting, A moment of silence, Forty-nine killed at a night club, A storm devastates the coast, Our neighbors to the south without power, A moment of silence, Your thoughts are insufficient, Your prayers have failed time and again, Silence without action speaks volumes, Your moments of silence are deafening.

Over the past week, I've had fun with the following Twitter trending hashtags: #VeryStableGenius, #ReligiousFreedomDay, #Nielsen, #26K, #FakeNewsAwards, #ChangeAWordRuinABook, #MarchforLife, #CaptionAnyTrumpPic, #TrumpShutdown, #ReleaseTheMemo, and #WomensMarch2018. I didn't get too crazy with any of them individually, but combined, it was a new level of craziness for yours truly. Here are my posts, ordered from the post popular to the least popular (all my posts can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) If the GOP were a football team: "Look, our offense didn't do its job. Our defense didn't do their job. Not even the special teams unit did their job. So why did we lose? The other team." #TrumpShutdown 539 Likes, 292 Retweets 2) It's humorous GOPers blame Democrats for the government shutdown when they elected a president whose brain shut down many moons ago. #TrumpShutdown 609 Likes, 203 Retweets 3) Fifty Shades of Cray #Cha

As I noted yesterday, while I'm about as big a fan of Congressional Republicans as the pope is of Saw  films, I think the onus of the government shutdown should fall on Donald Trump's shoulders. Throughout the process, the man contradicted himself more times than Bill Clinton has bit his lower lip in the past 50 years. Call me crazy, but it's difficult to know what a president will or won't sign when he consistently provides conflicting messages on just that. While I don't really fault Congressional Republicans or Democrats for what happened over the weekend, however, I find it quite perplexing, to the point of being comical, how Republicans in general have responded to said shutdown. In a newly released NBC News poll, which was conducted after the start of the shutdown, here were a few of the results: Who's to blame for the government shutdown? Democrats/Independents: 54.4% Trump, 23.9% Republicans (78.3% combined), 18.1% Democrats (net +60.2% Republicans/-6

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 81,875 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. Fourteen of my fifteen books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The thirteen books I've written and released in the past 7 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

Since the federal government shut down at midnight on Saturday, January 20th, the Republican and Democratic parties have taken turns pointing fingers at one another for blame. Republicans have tried referring to the situation as Schumer Shutdown, in reference to Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, claiming he and the Democratic Party have taken the government hostage over DACA. Many Democrats have come forth with the attack, "The GOP controls all three parts of government! How can they blame the minority?" While I could sit here and nitpick the two parties' rationales and get fancy by casting a specific percentage of blame to both, I'm not going to do that. This isn't the Schumer Shutdown and isn't even the McConnell Shutdown; it's the Trump Shutdown. Period. Donald Trump doesn't know what in the hell he's doing. He's like a 5-year-old who was just handed the keys to a Mercedes, has surrounded himself with blind men, is being provided direc

For Donald Trump, a man who has been documented as having lied over 2,000 times in his first year in office, to hold a ceremony for Fake News Awards is to give  irony a bad name. Oddly enough, while President Trump listed 10 stories at his awards ceremony which have since been corrected, Pulitzer Prize-winning site Politifact.com  has graded 74 claims by Trump as "Pants on Fire," meaning they're so egregiously false, they could literally set a person's pants on fire. Let's look at those, shall we? 1) "Says of the diversity visa lottery program, 'they give us their worst people, they put them in a bin,' and 'the worst of the worst' are selected." 2) "For years, they have not been able to get tax cuts -- many, many years, since Reagan." 3) "Says Joe Scarborough is party to an 'unsolved mystery' from his time as a congressman in Florida." 4) "Chicago is 'the city with the strongest gun laws in o

As I've mentioned previously, I, unfortunately, am one of the millions who have been sexually abused, assaulted, or harassed (all three in my case). Understandably so, I'm a proud member and supporter of the #MeToo movement. I want victims to feel they have voice, have power, and aren't silenced via fear of their perpetrators. I only wish I felt such securities when I was abused close to 30 years ago. In any case, I couldn't be happier that this movement is progressing as it is, and hopefully, in the long run, it does a world of good to help greatly condense the number of sexual improprieties we experience and observe. Having said all that, though, I think we need to be careful to not unintentionally diminish the significance of traumatic, life-altering experiences such as rape, sexual abuse, and the like, by lending as much airtime to people referring to one another as a pet name; providing them with a gift which may be deemed as inappropriate; or even attempt to pro

Donald Trump Jr. shared an article yesterday, entitled, "Trump's first year in office was the year of the woman," and as I often times do during the era of Trumpism, I double-checked to make certain it wasn't an Onion article. Sadly, it wasn't. In his first 24-member Cabinet, Donald Trump appointed 4 women and 4 minorities, which amount to 17% of the total. Under then President Obama, on the other hand, women accounted for 32% of his Cabinet and minorities accounted for 45% of it (7 and 10, respectively). Any comments about that, Don Jr.? "Trump's first year in office was the year of the woman." Approximately 20 women have come forward alleging Trump of sexual improprieties, the latest of which is porn star Stormy Daniels, who once claimed President Trump asked her to spank him with a Forbes magazine which included he and Ivana on the cover. Jr., any thoughts? "Trump's first year in office was the year of the woman." Let&#

I'd think most people, especially members of the media and Congress would be used to this by now. Here's how the process breaks down:  1) Donald Trump says or tweets something offensive. 2) Shock is displayed throughout Congress and the news media. 3) Trump's poll numbers drop amongst self-described conservatives and Republicans. 4) Trump's team then provides a ridiculous twist to the original quote or ridiculous rationale for said quote. 5) The story begins to fade. 6) Trump's numbers amongst the formerly disappointed conservatives and Republicans rise to their pre-story levels. 7) The cycle starts all over again. It was quite ironic for Donald Trump to refer to other countries as sh*tholes, because, as far as I can tell, there is no bigger sh*thole than the president's mouth. Crap spews out of there faster than an auctioneer can count to 1.  Sadly, nothing the president says surprises me anymore. Of course, having said that,

I somewhat admire pure idealists. They fight for what's right, are filled with a burning passion to do just that, and never settle for less than what is their ideal vision on an issue. Having said that, I am also somewhat frustrated with pure idealists. While their drive and passion to fight for what's right is admirable, they often times seem to impede progress due to a lack of willingness to compromise. At my core, I'm an idealist. When I was in college, I could probably have been labeled a pure idealist. However, as I started living the post-college life and better understanding how government works (or doesn't work), I came to realize that, while idealism may be admirable in a certain context, without at least a touch of realism added to the mix, we're often times left with obstructionism. When it comes to the end goal, pure idealists have the right idea and it's wise to initially fight for that end goal. However, if and when that end goal appears out of

"I have a dream that one day I will rise this nation up to find out if the word creed is just a band name. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi all my Cabinet members, the smartest people in the world, will be able to find on a map. I have a dream that my three children and one child I want to bang will not be judged by people in court but by people, uh, not in court. I have a dream I'm told. I have a dream that one day, even though I'm the least racist person you'll ever know, down in Alabama, pedophiles like Roy Moore will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls, but not little black boys and black girls. I have a dream I'm told. I have a dream that one day every truth is false, every falsth is true, traitor Colin Kap-whatever gets what's coming to him, and I finally learn the words to the national anthem. So let hatred ring from, eh, not the Old Hampshire, but the New one! Let hatred ring from my yuge

I had some fun with the #FixTrumpIn5Words and #NewNationalAnthemLyrics hashtags on Twitter over the past week. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here -  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) Staple his mouth shut bigly #FixTrumpIn5Words 95 Likes, 16 Retweets 2) Resign from the Oval Office #FixTrumpIn5Words 45 Likes, 9 Retweets 3) There is no possible way #FixTrumpIn5Words 35 Likes, 11 Retweets 4) Have him spayed or neutered #FixTrumpIn5Words 22 Likes, 8 Retweets 5) Little rocket man's stupid hair, My tweets going everywhere, Proving at 3 am, My nuclear button is still there, Jose still can't ever see, so he just waves, For the land of the free, go somewhere else to live. #NewNationalAnthemLyrics 21 Likes, 6 Retweets 6) Move to a "sh*thole" country #FixTrumpIn5Words 20 Likes, 2 Retweets 7) Learn how to speak English #FixTrumpIn5Words 20 Likes, 1 Retweet 8) Never did I t

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 81,433 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. Fourteen of my fifteen books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The thirteen books I've written and released in the past 7 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

As long-time readers should know, while I don't deny that the quarterback is an integral part of a successful team, I think analysts who contend it's the most important position in all of sports, even just football, are inaccurate, to put it lightly. To me, the three most important ingredients to building a long-term successful football program are: 1) Good defense, 2) Consistent pass protection, and 3) Solid run blocking. Let's look at this year's semifinals. We have: 1) the New England Patriots, 2) the Jacksonville Jaguars, 3) the Philadelphia Eagles, and 4) the Minnesota Vikings. Where do all these teams rank? Pass protection 3) Jacksonville: 24 sacks allowed 7) Minnesota: 27 sacks allowed 13) New England: 35 sacks allowed 16) Philadelphia: 36 sacks allowed Average rank: 9.75 Run blocking 1) Jacksonville: 141.4 ypg 3) Philadelphia: 132.2 ypg 7) Minnesota: 122.3 ypg 10) New England: 118.1 ypg Average rank: 5.25 Defense 1) Minnesota: 15.8 ppg 2) Jac

Due to a #ConsensualPresidency tweet of mine, I got mentioned on Carbonated TV , which can be seen here:  http://www.carbonated.tv/news/twitter-erupts-after-trump-calls-his-presidency-consensual If curious, you can check out the rest of my tweets at this link:  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki

I had some fun with the trending hashtags #ConsensualPresidency and #MakeABandLessInteresting over the past couple of days. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my posts can be read here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) Trump: "This is a consensual presidency." About 66 million voters disagree... #ConsensualPresidency 74 Likes, 22 Retweets 2) Apathy Against the Machine #MakeABandLessInteresting 58 Likes, 7 Retweets 3) Blink-Never (a Michele Bachmann tribute band) #MakeABandLessInteresting 51 Likes, 4 Retweets 4) REO Stationwagon #MakeABandLessInteresting 31 Likes, 3 Retweets 5) The Unbelievably Mild Chili Peppers #MakeABandLessInteresting 25 Likes, 2 Retweets 6) Donald Trump refers to his presidency as "consensual." Ah, yes, tell that to all of the women's pus*ies he "consensually" grabbed... #ConsensualPresidency 18 Likes, 3 Retweets 6) Nine Millimeter Nails #MakeABandLessInte

ACC Bowl eligible teams: 10 of 14 (71.4%) Bowl record: 4-6 (.400) Record vs. Power 5 (and Notre Dame): 11-18 (.379) 11 wins ACC teams: 97-48 (.669) ACC opponents: 79-62 (.560) Difference: +0.109 Combined score: 419-235 (average of 38.1 - 21.4 = +16.7) 18 losses ACC teams: 122-104 (.540) ACC opponents: 172-64 (.729) Difference: -0.189 Combined score: 370-646 (average of 20.6 - 35.9 = -15.3) Overall ACC teams: 219-152 (.590) ACC opponents: 251-126 (.666) Difference: -0.076 Combined score: 789-881 (average of 27.2 - 30.4 = -3.2) Big XII Bowl eligible teams: 8 of 10 (80.0%) Bowl record: 5-3 (.625) Record vs. Power 5 (and Notre Dame): 8-8 (.500) 8 wins Big XII teams: 75-32 (.701) Big XII opponents: 59-45 (.567) Difference: +0.134 Combined score: 307-180 (average of 38.4 - 22.5 = +15.9) 8 losses Big XII teams: 57-47 (.548) Big XII opponents: 64-41 (.609) Difference: -0.061 Combined score: 219-285 (average of 27.4 - 35.6 = -8.2) Overall Big XII teams:

Donald Trump's National Anthem Jose can't ever see, Through my big beautiful wall at night, With all of the bigly hail, There can't be global warming, Why broads with stripes and stars, Can't ever be tens, I'm not sexist, believe me, But what are those bi*ches thinking? Little rocket man's stupid hair, My tweets going everywhere, Proving at 3 am, My nuclear button is still there, Jose still can't ever see, so he just waves, For the land of the free, go somewhere else to live.

Did the best team win the college football playoff this year? That's debatable. Did the Alabama Crimson Tide deserve to win the title, though? Without question, no. According to the playoff selection committee's own guidelines, conference championships are a critical component to a team's resumé. While I've never been a huge fan of conference championship games, given the current format, this is how things are. Having said that, Alabama didn't win their conference championship game this year. Not only that, they didn't even compete in the SEC title game. Due to their in-conference loss to Auburn in the Iron Bowl, the Crimson Tide finished the regular season 3rd in the Southeastern Conference, behind Georgia and Auburn, respectively. While the winner of the SEC title game was a shoe-in (and deservedly so) for the four-team playoff, how does it make any lick of sense to select the 3rd seed from the conference as the #4 team in the playoff? Let's delve into t

Modern Family star Sarah Hyland is receiving a great deal of criticism for her post-Golden Globes Instagram video, where she acts drunk (she's sober) and flirts with an old male bellhop, who catches her when she falls after trying to exit the elevator. Under the video is the caption, "2018 starting off great. Tip #1: When you drink alone. Drink alone w/ #JohntheBellHop @instylemagazine #goldenglobes party." She later defended herself, posting, "#JohntheBellHop is a very nice old man. FYI. 'completely sober'." Before going any further, you can watch the clip here -  http://www.thisisinsider.com/sarah-hyland-controversial-golden-globes-after-party-instagram-video-2018-1 The video received the following responses:  - "Counterintuitive" - "Wow I'm shocked this is still up given the whole times up movement. Doesn't look good." - "Not sending a strong message." - "Repulsive" - "'Wh

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 81,172 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. Fourteen of my fifteen books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The thirteen books I've written and released in the past 7 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #TrumpMovieSequels on Twitter over the weekend. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) I Know What You Tweeted Last Summer #TrumpMovieSequels 396 Likes, 60 Retweets 2) The Three Douches #TrumpMovieSequels 340 Likes, 81 Retweets 3) The Fifty Shades of Cray #TrumpMovieSequels 117 Likes, 26 Retweets 4) 71 Going On 13 #TrumpMovieSequels 125 Likes, 13 Retweets 5) Honey, I Got the Kids Indicted #TrumpMovieSequels 98 Likes, 22 Retweets 6) Clear and Bigly Present Danger #TrumpMovieSequels 87 Likes, 22 Retweets 7) Full Mental Jacka*s #TrumpMovieSequels 87 Likes, 18 Retweets 8) Cloudy With a Chance of No Balls #TrumpMovieSequels 78 Likes, 9 Retweets 9) How to Destroy a Country in 10 Days #TrumpMovieSequels 64 Likes, 11 Retweets 10) Brain-Dead Man Walking #TrumpMovieSequels 61 Likes, 12 Retweets 11) It Could Ha

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #StableGenius on Twitter over the weekend. Here are my tweets, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my posts can be read here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) Trump: "Nothing says stable genius like: Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump University, and wanting to do your daughter Ivanka." #StableGenius #Snark 171 Likes, 50 Retweets 2) Trump: "Sure, I get pissed at the smallest of things. I may have called Sally Yates a c*nt and Hope Hicks a piece of tail, but that just goes to show you I'm a stable genius. Period." #StableGenius #Snark 135 Likes, 37 Retweets 3) Trump: "What do I do for fun? Yell, fire people, send out nasty insults, lie, make unintentional typos, destroy a country, you know, what all stable geniuses like to do." #StableGenius #Snark 124 Likes, 34 Retweets 4) rump: "I know more about horse stables than the actual stablers, believe me! I'm a stable

Due to a #TrumpMovieSequels tweet of mine, I got mentioned on the website Twitchy , which can be seen here:  https://twitchy.com/bethb-313034/2018/01/05/lights-camera-action-americans-propose-epic-titles-for-a-trump-movie-sequel/ To stay regularly up-to-date on my Twittersphere, go to this link and then click "follow." -  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki

Many in the sports media, ESPN in particular, have an odd, almost abusive relationship with Alabama head coach Nick Saban. Saban treats them like crap day in and day out for many years, these sports commentators start to believe they deserve such treatment, and wind up spending most of their time defending their abuser - in this case, Nick Saban. At no time was this any more prevalent than last night and this morning, after Alabama dominated Clemson 24-6 to win the Sugar Bowl and advance to the national championship game to face in-conference rival Georgia. To paraphrase, here are what 99% of ESPN's college football analysts said following the Tide's big victory:  - "Well, that just goes to show you the committee got it right." - "This game proves Alabama's one of the best four teams and deserved to get in over Ohio State." - "Alabama's loss to Auburn was obviously due to injuries." - "Alabama's just the better team.