The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

The Republican Party really needs to stop trying to be clever when talking about gay marriage. They've gone the slippery-slope route: "What's next? Poly-Sci, poly-something, what is that again? Oh, Polygon-gamy, or whatever." They've gone the don't-know-our-Bible-too-well route: "Look, just read your Bible - besides those 5-10 other kinds of marriages, the only marriage in the sacred book is between one man and one woman. The rape marriages and those concu- or porcupine marriages, I mean, they don't mean anything anymore!" They've also gone the gross-people-out route: "So, what? If gays can marry each other now, who says I can't marry my horse? I mean, come on, people! On second thought, it's true what they say about being hung like one. Maybe I should give that some thought after all!" Then just recently, Anthony Culler - South Carolinian challenging Representative James Clyburn for a House seat - made the following...

While Minnesota Congresswoman and lead candidate to star as Linda Blair's character in a remake of The Exorcist - Michele Bachmann - won't be running for re-election, she's decided to let the crazy words fly for as long as she's still in office. After Arizona Governor Jan Brewer vetoed SB 1062 late last month, which would have allowed professionals to refuse service or employment to individuals due to their religious beliefs (::cough:: gays ::cough::), Bachmann decided to make the following statement on the matter when speaking to conservative radio host Lars Larson this past weekend during the CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference): "There's nothing about gays in there. But the gay community decided to make this their measure. I think the thing that is getting a little tiresome, the gay community, they have so bullied the American people, and they've so intimidated politicians. The politicians fear them, so that they think they get to dictate ...

Middle School As of the first day, Cliques are formed, The bullies and jocks, Geeks and band nerds, Slammed into the lockers, Fearing the halls, Forced to do the bullies’ homework, Getting pushed against a wall, The teasing is constant, Hatred and enemies result, The principal wanting to stay out of the way, Fearful, having been bullied in the past, When their faces aren’t buried in the books, They become hesitant, Indecisive, Irrelevant, Unable to make up their minds, Which way is north and which way is south, Speechless when around girls, In social situations feeling nothing but doubt, The bullies roam the halls, Their heads held high, Knowing they’re above the law, For them, there are no rules or guidelines, They spread rumors, With no basis in fact, Pointing their fingers and laughing, Ready to go on the attack, Lining up militarily, In cohesion with one another, As the nerds scatter about, Not standing by each other, The bullies approach r...