The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Not long after the Confederate flag was removed from the South Carolina state capitol, someone decided to write the following message on a sign outside their business and post it on Facebook: "IN THE US YOU ARE FREE TO LIVE AS YOU WISH UNLESS YOU'RE WHITE, STRAIGHT, REPUBLICAN, A GUN OWNER OR SOUTHERN." Sadly, this post has already been shared over 250,000 times, with one commenter responding, "...and Christian." I'm sorry, but this is one of the dumbest signs I've ever read. Let me get this straight, the individual who posted this actually believes that minorities, homosexuals, Democrats, non-gun owners, and Northerners are free to live as they'd like, but whites, heterosexuals, Republicans, gun owners, and southerners are not; is that correct (along with over 250,000 others apparently)? Okay... Here's how this sign reads to me: - "In the US, former slaves are more free to live as they wish than their slave-owners." - ...

Whenever I hear Christians claim that expanding gays' rights decreases theirs, I can't help but shake my head and roll my eyes. Apparently LGBT Americans garnering equal rights as heterosexual Christians is severely hampering Christianity and some members' seeming need to judge, discriminate, and condemn members of the LGBT community (you know, because that's what Jesus would do). That deranged mentality was on full display at Amyx Hardware & Roofing Supplies in Grainger County, Tennessee this past week. Following the Supreme Court's marriage equality ruling, owner Jeff Amyx posted a sign outside his store which read, "No Gays Allowed." Following the inevitable backlash, Amyx replaced the sign with one which read, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who would violate our rights of freedom of speech & freedom of religion." When asked about the signs, Amyx said, "They (homosexuals) gladly stand for what they believe i...

"Dr." James David Manning - pastor of the ATLAH Worldwide Missionary Church in Harlem - is making the headlines due to a sign outside his church and a tangent he released via video. On the sign reads this message: "OBAMA HAS RELEASED THE HOMO DEMONS ON THE BLACK MAN. LOOK OUT BLACK WOMAN. A WHITE HOMO MAY TAKE YOUR MAN" That was inspired by the video he released, where he said the following: "This is devastating what Obama is doing to the black man and the black woman, and how the white homo is now moving into the black neighborhoods looking for black men that have been converted to homosexuality. But black woman let me say something to you: you have a very hard time competing against a white heterosexual male. He's usually got money -- a white homo usually has an American Express card. He usually has an opportunity at the theater -- homos love the theater. They love to go out to dinners, parties, they love that kind of a thing... black people need to...

I read an article today which likely resulted as being a potential finalist for the least-sexy-facial-expression of the year. It was written by one Eliot Shorr-Parks of NJ.com and entitled, "Should the Eagles release Michael Vick?" My short answer to that is no. If someone had asked me before the Eagles re-signed the veteran quarterback, I probably wouldn't have provided a definite answer. However, after re-signing Vick to a 1-year, $7 million+ contract, how in the world would it make sense to release him? Mr. Shorr-Parks, what's your take on this? "It wasn't exactly a 'play me or else' proclamation, but listening to Michael Vick talk after Eagles practice on Thursday, it wasn't hard to see where this could be going." Oh, so a guy who was signed for another year and up to $10 million if everything goes well should be released because of what Mr. Shorr-Parks sees happening in the future through his crystal ball? That's a good enoug...

On Facebook this morning, I saw one of my long-time conservative Nebraska friends posted a sign which read, "You call me paranoid. I call you uninformed." It said this in relation to the 2nd Amendment. I have a feeling this person (and many others) may be uninformed about paranoia. Let's look at the definitions, shall we? Paranoia is defined as the following: 1. "a form of schizophrenia characterized by a slowly progressive deterioration of the personality, involving delusions and often hallucinations" 2.  "a mental disorder characterized by any of several types of delusions, in which the personality otherwise remains relatively intact" 3. "intense fear or suspicion, especially when unfounded" As for the word "uninformed," it's defined as "not informed; lacking in knowledge or information." So, what this person (and others) is (are) saying is essentially this - "You may think I possess an in...

Earlier today, I saw a Facebook friend of mine post the following message via a cartoonish sign on the social networking site - "If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to knock a lazy co-worker out, I wouldn't have to work anymore." I had to laugh when reading that, because he was posting it from work. This prompted me to respond with, " Isn't it a tad ironic that while at work, a person posts something on Facebook decrying lazy co-workers?" In this person's mind, I guess it isn't a prime example of being a "lazy co-worker" to decry lazy co-workers on Facebook while at work. Ironic indeed...

I really had to laugh upon reading an article this morning. Shortly after the election last week, one Cope Reynolds - owner of the gun store Southwest Shooting Authority in Pinetop, Arizona - posted the following message no his site, in a newspaper ad, and on a sign at the front of the store: "To Whom it May Concern: I thought you all might be interested in this. We will try to demonstrate once again that the bottom line for our business is principle, not money. Yes, it has been damaging at times but our values are intact. Effective immediately, if you voted for Obama, your money is no good here. You have proven beyond a doubt that you are not responsible enough to own a firearm. We have just put a sign up on the front door to save you the trouble of walking all the way in here... I took this ad out in our local paper. It will come out in the White Mountain Independent tomorrow, 9 November Sincerely, Cope Reynolds" First off, how in the world is this Cope Rey...