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New Year's Resolutions

Regardless of the time of year or what year it is, I believe the following resolutions will be made: Dick Cheney - To smile for the first time in his life. Tom Cruise - To reject medication from his doctor after he tells Tom that he is mentally troubled, insane and delusional. Bill O'Reilly - To take an anger management class, go to discussion groups on racism and sexism and to have some more fun on the telephone. Slyvester Stallone - To box without a walker or cane. Rush Limbaugh - To marry his 5th, 6th and 7th wives and declare himself the second coming of Joseph Smith. Hugh Grant - To play the same role in another film. Sean Hannity - To give others a chance to speak. Mike Tyson - To take on a new primary language so he can never attempt to speak the English language again. Donald Trump - To take credit for ending World War II, finding and killing Osama bin Laden and starting a new business called, “Rat Hair”. MTV - To show one music video between 7 am and midnight....