The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Setting: Sunday school (9th-12th grade) at the church of Holy Hell! Jesus Rocks! Pastor Malarkey: "When this nation was down, Ronald Reagan flew up to the heavens, and spoke with Jesus. He tried convincing our lord and savior to grant him special powers. After the two talked things over for 79 minutes over some strawberry daiquiris and buffalo wings, Jesus granted the president those special powers. These special powers included being able to: Heal the sick, feed the hungry, talk very well, fly, and all sorts of other things. He was even given  a magical wand, which could transform into a tank, cap gun or clown to destroy or frighten dragons, especially the ones in Florida. This helped him save this great country and in essence, the world. So you see kids, Ronald Reagan was a lot like Jesus. Please tell your parents to vote Republican next Tuesday. The end." Jake: "Wow! That's amazing! That really happened?" Malarkey: "I cross my heart." ...

One major difference between Republicans and Democrats I've found when talking to them is that it seems as if more times than not, Democrats base their opinions on what they think, whereas Republicans base theirs on what they feel. This isn't true in all cases, of course, but it's happened enough times where I feel it's more likely a trend than an aberration.  Teachers and scientists are identifying themselves more and more with the Democratic Party than the Republican one. On the other side of things, religious leaders (Christian ones, that is) are identifying themselves more and more with the Republican Party than the Democratic one. Perhaps this plays into the thinking vs. feeling theory. Whereas teachers, scientists and the like enjoy reading, experimenting, learning, expanding their horizons and aren't typically satisfied until there is ample evidence to support an idea or hypothesis, religious leaders can't base their opinions on concrete evidence, for ...

The Imaginary Moral Compass of Reality A story told, A lesson learned, For moral guidance, A teaching tool, That which can’t be seen, Only imagined, Actors witnessed playing the role, In an attempt to make valid, The backdrop is set, Characters walk on stage, The music begins, A persuasion of reality, On the edge of their seats, Their eyes widen, Wanting to believe, The story is genuine, When the lights dim, The actors leave the stage, Toss the beards to the side, Walk back to real life, To teach lessons, Bring people together, Provide hope, Instill faith, But the characters cannot be seen, The story only heard, Before the lights dim, And we walk into the real world.

The Invisible Man To thou whom I speak, To thou whom I pray, To thou whom I listen, Every minute of every day, When I rise in the morning, Go to sleep at night, I know you’re wit me, My guiding light, I look to you for answers, Look to you for love, To look after my children, Look after myself, With me when I drive to work, When I return home, With me at every waking moment, With me until I’m gone, One day I will rise to be with you, See my family and friends, Be rewarded for my everlasting faith, Be forever saved, I’ve never seen your face, Nor heard your voice, Yet I adamantly declare, To know of your presence, I don’t believe in ghosts, Yet hold no doubts of your existence, Having never seen either, Absent of any evidence, The invisible man is coming, Believe in him or else, He will strike ye down to the fiery pit, A ghost sending you to hell.

If there's anyone whom bashes on organized religion, it's me. I'm not afraid to question tradition, point out flaws or conclude that there's no such thing as a perfect religion. But, as I believe in balance, there are pros when it comes to religion, just as there are cons. Why is it useful and important? Because it'll save us from eternal damnation? Because it'll help us see our own destiny? Because the path of God can only be shown and seen through religion? No. It's useful and important because it gives people something in which to believe. It gives people motivation to do all they can in this life, for they will be rewarded in the next one. It gives people an outlet for all that's going on with their lives. It gives people answers to questions that will never be solved. It gives people a reason to live life, even in the worst of times. I'd say approximately 9 in 10 people believe in a superior power (God). Can you imagine if it was proven beyo...