"My friend asked me a long, long time ago to give his eulogy when he passed, so that's why I'm here today. I loved my friend. We all did; I mean, that's why we're here, right? Yeah, so my friend, uh, whatever his name was, let me tell you why this guy wanted me to speak to all of you about him today. The fact of the matter is, I'm the world's best speaker. If you want a great eulogy, I'll give the best one - guaranteed! That's just how it is, folks. I know the best words; I don't hold back from saying these words; and I tie them together almost like that poet Alan Alda Poe, where it becomes like a thing of beauty. My eulogy may not be as beautiful as my daughter Ivanka, but like her, if I weren't the eulogy's father, I'd want to bang it too. I saw everyone's reaction right there. You all got goosebumps right then, didn't you? You see? I always seem to affect people with what I say. I remember one time I was talking to some ki...
Randomness. Politics. Songs. Poetry. Short Stories. Essays. Satire. Research. Sarcasm. A mix of Jon Stewart, George Carlin, Weird Al Yankovic, The Onion, FactCheck.org, and Gandhi. former co-host of "The Tracy & Craig Show" (which had previously been called "The Tracy Fort Show") and current host of "I Feel Snitty," author of the "LOL at the GOP" series, and Donald Trump's worst nightmare (besides facts).