With everyone and their dad pulling out of Trump's "Great State American Fair," I thought I'd put together a Top Ten List regarding the matter. The Top Ten Artists Who Will Agree to Perform at Trump's "Great State American Fair" 10. The Rotting Bones 9. Fats Donnie-O 8. Three Cells Down 7. Guns N' Moses 6. Lack Sabbath 5. Rage Against the Hygiene 4. All Crowes Matter 3. The Artist Permanently Known As Dense 2. Limp Dipsh*t 1. (drumroll) Notorious B.I.G.L.Y.
The Top Ten Standout Features/Differences in the new T1 Trump Mobile Phone 10. Call-waiting isn't an option. If you receive a second call, and take it, the first caller receives the message, "You're fired." 9. The highest the battery can be charged is 45%. 8. The slogan will be, "Make America Great Again, Made in China." 7. The phones are designed to fit Trump's hands, so they're for ages 3-6. 6. It always blames others for glitches. 5. In order to use speaker, one must sign an NDA. 4. It prefers younger models. 3. If a woman aborts from a group-chat she was forced into, she will be imprisoned. 2. The ringtone is set to Trump repeatedly saying, "I love the poorly educated." 1. (drumroll) The voicemail will automatically say, "You've reached the stable genius. I'm probably home, but don't know how to work this stupid thing. Technology is so dumb sometimes. I know more about technology than the Amish do, believe me. I once da...