After bragging about a perfect 30 for 30 on his cognitive test, for the 4th time no less (120 for 120 for those scoring at home), I made it my mission to find this very test Donald Trump has reportedly aced (by himself, no less). Well, after some hard work, and paying raccoons to search for it at the bottom of dumpsters at Golden Corrals, here it is. 1. How old do you feel? A. A number B. Younger than Elvis C. Could you repeat that? D. Yes 2. 'Quad' means "4." Keeping that in mind, how many sides does a quadrilateral have? A. 4 B. 1,096,233 C. 19,771,808,356 D. 867-5309 3. True or False, this is a True or False question? A. True B. False C. Half-True D. All of the Above 4. Oklahoma City is the capital city of what state? A. Oklahoma B. Sucklahoma C. Not OK-lahoma D. Mexico City 5. What was your answer to question #4? A. B B. D C. A D. C 6. If Sammy Hagar is driving 55 down the interstate, how fast is he driving? A. 55 B. 56 C. 57 D. Van Halen 7. In what religion do y...
Since Donald Trump has recently been in the hospital more times than Gene Simmons has been kissed by groupies, I thought I'd speculate on the reasons for these frequent hospital trips. The Top Ten Reasons for Trump's Frequent Hospital Visits 10. BTSD (Bigly Traitor Stress Disorder) 9. Lieabetes 8. Orange Fever 7. Ballzheimer's (forgot where his balls are) 6. ADND (Attention Deficit No-Activity Disorder) 5. Restless Mini-Hands Syndrome 4. Pecker Muscular Dystrophy 3. Ataxia returns 2. Sticking-foot-in-mouth disease 1. (drumroll) Donarrhea