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The Top Ten Changes to Palm Beach International Airport Once It's Renamed Donald J. Trump International Airport

The Top Ten Changes to Palm Beach International Airport Once It's Renamed Donald J. Trump International Airport

10. Flying experience won't be required for pilots. So long as Trump once saw them play 'Galaga' at a bowling alley arcade, they'll be deemed "qualified."

9. The waiting line will be sorted by way of hotness ("10s are always first").

8. The only exit row will be located in the cargo hold.

7. Conveyor belt-speed will increase from 0.5 m/s to 500 million m/s.

6. Near misses will be termed 'holes-in-one.'

5. Flights will only be permitted to areas which have a +0% net-approval rating of Trump, so: Wyoming, West Virginia, Russia, Idaho, and The Rocks-for-Brains Kid Rock Fan Club.

4. The noses of airplanes will be redesigned to resemble mini-mushrooms.

3. When experiencing severe turbulence, all passengers must stand and sing the national anthem. 

2. Air Traffic Control will be orchestrated via Sharpie.

1. (drumroll) Next to the oxygen masks will be needles and disinfectant, just in case of an emergency.

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