The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Sadly, two days ago, in the midst of a 98-game win streak, New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi was forced to resign due to health complications. Interim manager Donald Trump then led his team to a 10-9 victory over the winless Chicago White Sox yesterday, increasing the win streak to 99 games. After yet another record-breaking win for the team, Trump said the following in his post-game press conference: "Can you believe it? 99 games. It's believable, fantastic, tremendous, all of those words, so believdoustastic! I don't like to brag, but let's give credit where credit is due - I'm 99-0. Why is no one talking about that? We're 99-0 in our last 99 games, I'm currently the coach, so like yeah, I'm undefeated in 99 games, even in those 50 games I missed earlier in the season for, uh, legal reasons, and those 48 others I fell asleep during. I'm the best, the greatest, and you can't spell 99 without 1! Google it!" In other news, a recent ne...

Just a day before the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, former Vice President and permanent Darth Vader impersonator, Dick Cheney, had a spokesperson write the following: "If President Obama were participating in his intelligence briefings on a regular basis then perhaps he would understand why people are so offended at his efforts to take sole credit for the killing of Osama bin Laden." I have a hunch that something is eating away at Cheney - something resembling guilt perhaps, but being the Dark Lord and all, he has attempted to find a way to project that "guilt" onto another. A report, which was just released by The New York Times , showed ample evidence that the Bush Administration (or Cheney Administration as some liked to call it - I personally prefer the Dick and Bush Administration myself) ignored numerous C.I.A. warnings about a possible terrorist attack on American soil in the run-up to 9/11. In light of this report, perhaps Cheney is doing his dam...

I really wonder where some people are getting reports that President Obama has not given credit to the Navy SEALS for the killing of Osama bin Laden.  In the president's speech where he announced the killing of bin Laden, which he gave on May 2nd of 2011, he said the following: "...thanks to the tireless and heroic work of our military and our counterterrorism professionals, we've made great strides [in fighting against al Qaeda to protect our citizens, oru friends and our allies]." "A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability...." "We give thanks for the men who carried out this operation, for they exemplify the professionalism, patriotism, and unparalleled courage of those who serve our country..." In a speech he gave less than a week later (May 6th), in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, Obama said the following: "Thanks to the incredible skill and courage of countless indi...