The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Ever go to a bar for a bit, observe a bartender, interact with him or her, and walk out wondering why they're a bartender? I've run into this scenario on three occasions. One bartender was just extremely rude and after receiving several complaints, she got fired for that very reason. Another bartender just wasn't very social - he lacked the bartender personality, and even though he tried, the job just didn't seem to suit him well. Unsurprisingly, last I heard, he was doing something completely different with his life. That brings me to the third bartender - the one I know the best of all three, largely due to the fact I attend this pub about once every 2-3 weeks. While I'll admit that for the most part, the guy does work hard, he simply comes across as the anti-bartender bartender.  Almost any "expert" in the field of bartending will say the five most important qualities for a great bartender to possess are: Multitasking, communication, organization...

I get that most everyone believes their children, nieces, and nephews are adorable and special in some kind of way, unlike all the other kids. This is perfectly understandable. These are the people we spend time with and love. I'm sure I'll feel the same way when my niece is born in approximately three months. However, there is a significant amount of bias in play with such thoughts and feelings, and that brings me to what inspired this blog in the first place - biased and exaggerated Facebook posts concerning child relatives. One I read today said, "Fun fact: My nephew is cuter than yours. Sorry about that, but not really." This wasn't the first time I read such a status. I guess my question is, why? Why do some people feel the need to declare that their child relative(s) are superior to all others in one way or another? Why can't we just love our children, nieces, and nephews regardless? Why must it be a competition? So long as the children we raise grow...

I haven't had very many interesting back-and-forths on Twitter yet. For one, I've only been a member for approximately 3 weeks or so. Secondly, I'm still learning how to use the darn thing. Finally, my main intent with the site is to garner more recognition for my written work, so I've interacted mainly with like-minded people. Yes, it's boring sometimes, I admit, but I have a much better chance of selling my books to liberals, moderates, and sarcastic individuals than to conservatives or people whom don't much care for sarcasm. Today, though, I discovered that an individual with whom I disagree more than drunk drivers and cops replied to a tweet of mine and we've gone on to have a somewhat interesting and sad back-and-forth. Here's how it's gone to this point: Me: "Why are so many conservatives turned off about conserving the environment?" Him: "'Conservative' is incorrect. You can say 'right' or 'republicans....

I must say, I find it to be quite funny when someone is simultaneously condescending and wrong. Joseph Bonzai: "So, as you can all see, class, 2+ 2 = 4. Yes, Duncan..." Duncan Douchesnozzle: "I'm sorry, but 4 is not the right answer. If you had said 2 or 7, you would have been correct. I recommend that you use your calculator next time. You're welcome."

Of course, in light of the presidential debate being aired live last night, many people felt the need to let their thoughts on it be known via Facebook statuses. A very good friend of mine let her thoughts be known, which I agreed with, but which a friend of her's didn't care for too much. Toward the end of his two early posts, he said, "Obamacare is what scares me." In response, I asked the question, "What about Obamacare scares you exactly?" He responded with, "The list is too long to go through. I don't have the time to explain the bill to you." Yes, he sounded exactly like Paul Ryan right there when responding to Fox News' Chris Wallace when being asked about the Romney/Ryan tax plan. "It would take too much time to explain!" Sure it would... So I then called the guy out on his nonsense and pointed out that I didn't appreciate his condescending tone. He then said he wasn't going to get into this "childis...

I hate to come across as condescending and I honestly hate the thought of needing to explain this to people, but I've reached a point where I feel I must. I feel that approximately 78.43% of people don't know the difference between fact and opinion. That number I provided, for example - what was that? A fact? An opinion? Neither. It was complete and utter bull honky. I pulled it from an area that stinks even when the sun is shining. Let's allow Sir Webster to be our guide on this. First off, Sir Webster, what is an opinion? "o-pin-ion (uh-pin-yuhn) noun 1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. 2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal. 3. the formal expression of a professional judgment. 4. the format statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used in reaching a decision of a case. 5. a favorable estimate; esteem." Now, Sir Webster, what is a fact? "fact (fakt...

Everyone’s Worst Critic I don’t appreciate that language, Don’t appreciate that tone, As I utter numerous profanities, As I scream and yell, You must be more loyal, Must be more honest, As I exit the hotel with my mistress, Having told my wife I was out of town, You shouldn’t smoke or drink, Addiction is for the weak, Smoking my second pack of the day, Two weeks removed from AA, Gossip shows a lack of maturity, It shows a lack of respect, Did you hear about what’s his name? How can he live with himself? Constantly critical of others, With no hesitation present, Holding back no remorse, Being just as guilty as the rest of them.