The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

At least once a week, I stumble upon an article so atrocious, I have to double-check to make certain it wasn't written by someone at the satirical site, The Onion . Today, I may have stumbled upon the most ridiculous article I've read this year, if not my entire life. The article was written by Victor Davis Hanson at the far right-wing site, National Review , and entitled, "Obama and Trump: Two of a Kind." Yes, you read that correctly. Not being the biggest fan of National Review  and having not been too familiar with Victor Davis Hanson's previous work, I thought I'd research a few of his other articles. Judging by some of his other work, perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised by how ridiculous this article was. Here's a snippet of Mr. Hanson's other articles: - "Progressive Elites Ignore Human Nature at Everyone Else's Expense" (yes, he's subtle) - "The Four Horsemen of a Looming Apocalypse" (subtlety, take t...

It's really starting to crack me up how some on the far-right end of the political spectrum are flipping out over the Confederate flag debate not going their way. Last night, I wrote about Breitbart writer John Nolte and Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association comparing the rainbow flag to the Confederate and Nazi flags, suggesting that if and when the Confederate flag gets taken down, so too should the rainbow flag. Yes, because just like African-Americans were enslaved in the South, Christians have been enslaved by homosexuals. The situations are as identical as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. Well, Fox News' Sean Hannity decided to join the crazy party when he made the following comments on his radio show yesterday: "A lot of music by those [rap] artists is chock full of the n-word and the b-word and the h-word, and racist, misogynist, sexist anti-woman slurs none of those retail executes would be caught dead using. If it's OK for Obama's te...

As stock in the Confederate flag is falling faster than Donald Trump for himself, some far-right conservatives have decided to counter this movement by equating the Confederate flag to the rainbow flag, insinuating that the two are equal, and if liberals can take down Confederate flags, conservatives should be able to take down the rainbow flags. John Nolte, Breitbart writer, posted these tweets on the matter (@NolteNC), with all of the posts featuring a picture of a rainbow flag: - "When will this symbol of anti-Christian hate come down?" - "The hateful symbol of bigots who smear Christianity as hate speech must come down..." - "Anyone who doesn't think the gay flag has become a symbol of bigotry and hate hasn't been paying attention." Nolte followed these tweets with a writing entitled, "Take Down The Fascist, Anti-Christian Gay Pride Flag," where he wrote this: "Under the banner of what is dishonestly called a gay prid...

I wasn't sure I would ever hear a defense more ridiculous than the one Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder gave of his team's nickname, but given former NFL head coach Mike Ditka's recent tirade, I stand corrected. In an interview with RedskinsHistorian.com, Ditka said the following: "What's all the stink over the Redskins name? It's so much horse sh*t it's incredible. We're going to let the liberals of the world run this world. It was said out of reverence, out of pride to the American Indian. Even though it was called a Redskin, what are you going to call them, a Brownskin? This is so stupid it's appalling, and I hope that owner keeps fighting for it and never changes it, because the Redskins are part of an American football history, and it should never be anything but the Washington Redskins. That's the way it is." Judges, what do you think of Mr. Ditka's statement? "This is so stupid it's appalling..." In...

While I've awarded a handful of people as Douche of the Day (no, not on the same day), I honestly hadn't given much thought to an award for Douche of the Year. I had read and heard so many ridiculous statements, they all kind of blended in with one another after a while - that is, until today. Earlier today, GOP Illinois Congressional candidate Ian Bayne decided to weigh in on the Phil Robertson- Duck Dynasty debate, when he said this: "In December 1955, Rosa Parks took a stand against an unjust societal persecution of black people, and in December 2013, Robertson took a stand against persecution of Christians. What Parks did was courageous. What Mr. Robertson did was courageous too." That's right, ladies and gentlemen - Ian Bayne actually compared Phil Robertson's recent actions with Rosa Parks' actions back in 1955 and beyond. While I have given George W. Bush and Rick Perry, in particular, a hard time for not coming across as the brightest crayons...

On December 14th - exactly two months from now - it will be the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings in Newtown, Connecticut, which resulted in the deaths of 20 children and 6 adults. How will several gun-rights groups, including the national Second Amendment Foundation, the Citizens Committee for the Rights to Keep and Bear Arms, and DefendGunRights.com, honor that day? By celebrating "Guns Save Lives Day" across the 50 states. That's right. On a day when 20 6- and 7-year old kids were shot and killed while at school, which left this nation heartbroken, several guns-rights groups will be celebrating "Guns Save Lives Day." Yes, tell that to the 26 families whom lost a loved one via guns on that horrific day. This is an extremely insensitive move by these gun-rights groups. It would be one thing to hold such events on a non-nationally significant day when it comes to acts of gun violence, and quite another when they're held on the...

Courtesy of ProgressivePopulist.org , I saw this following post on my Facebook newsfeed today and felt the need to share it and provide a few wisecracks of my own. Here are 15 of the dumbest political Facebook posts made by right-wingers that you'll likely ever see: 1. "If Obama really does take our guns away, I'm literally going to build up all temptations of praying that he gets shot by all the other angry rednecks & country folks out there! I mean seriously?! If you're gonna take our guns away from us you're takin our freedom to! It clearly stats n the 10 commandments that we have the right to bare arms! #pissed #furiated #f*ckyouobama #hateyou #diealready!" - CountryGirl Yes, with a supposedly benevolent God and perfect son, obviously one of the Ten Commandments was "Thou shalt have the right to 'bare' arms." Some of the Commandments were listed as follows: Honor thy father and mother. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not ki...

When discussing why he couldn't get behind the Medicaid expansion in Obamacare, Maine House Minority Leader Ken Fredette made quite the statement, saying the following: "As I listen to the debate today and earlier debate on this bill, I can't help but think of a title of a book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. And it's a book about the fact that men sort of think one way in their own brain, in their own world. And women think another way in their own brain and in their own world. And it really talks about the way that men and women can do a better job at communicating. Because if you listen to the debate today, in my mind - a man's mind - I hear two fundamental issues. From the other side of the aisle, I hear the conversation being about: free, 'This is free, we need to take it, and it's free. And we need to do it now.' And that's the fundamental message that my brain receives. Now, my brain, being a man's brain, sort of thinks differ...

Republican New Hampshire state legislator, Mark Warden, just recently had some interesting words for the Concord Monitor , where he stated the following with regard to abusive relationships: "Some people could make the argument that a lot of people like being in abusive relationships. It's a love-hate relationship. It's very, very common for people to stick around with somebody they love who also abuses him or her." Sure, some people "could" make that argument, but they'd be idiots for doing so. It's fairly common for abused individuals to "stick around with somebody" not because they enjoy the abuse, but because through this abuse, their confidence and self-image have taken serious beatings as well, and they wind up feeling as though they deserve the abuse. Many also fear leaving the abuser, fearful that this will lead to even more severe beatings or even death. Based on Mr. Warden's comments, it appears as though his brain cells h...

I've heard some pretty dumb arguments against any kind of gun control, but former NRA President Marion Hammer may have rattled off the dumbest of them all. On the NRA's "news" show, Hammer said the following: "Banning people and things because of the way they look went out a long time ago, but here they are again. The color of a gun, the way it looks. It's just bad politics." Wow... So, certain guns are suffering from discrimination in this country similar to African-Americans? Latinos? Asian-Americans? Muslims? If that isn't the most ridiculous anti-gun control statement I've heard or read, I don't know what is. That's right, because guns started breathing at one point. Guns were referred to in the Constitution as 3/5 of a person. Guns battled slavery. When applying for jobs, guns have often times had to deal with their color being a negative factor to some employers. Guns have been mugged and killed due to their color. A group b...