The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

For as much as it seems many far-right preachers obsess over homosexuality and it's alleged negative impact on the world - some going so far as to say it may lead to Armageddon - it makes me wonder, do some of these preachers think the devil is gay? Think about it... According to them, evil derives from the devil and due to the "evils" of homosexuality, the world could end, so is homosexuality then the ultimate of all evils, just like the devil? I'm sorry, but since I don't actually believe in the devil, this paints a very funny picture in my mind. While it may not be accurate, due to cartoons, movies, and Halloween costumes, like most people, I picture the devil as a red guy with horns, a tail, and a pitchfork. So, just picture this devil being stereotypically gay. Just how would he tempt people over to his side? Allow me to give some examples (...and yes, much of this will be over-the-top and stereotypical, just to showcase how ridiculous the idea is): - ...

It's another day and I've been handed another crazy quote which to write about. Apparently, Virginia's GOP lieutenant governor candidate - E.W. Jackson - wrote the following interesting bit in his 2008 book, Ten Commandments to an Extraordinary Life: Making Your Dreams Come True : "When one hears the word meditation, it conjures an image of Maharishi Yoga talking about finding a mantra and striving for nirvana. The purpose of such meditation is to empty oneself. [Satan] is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it. Beware of systems of spirituality which tell you to empty yourself. You will end up filled with something you probably do not want." What about emptying oneself of sin? Of bodily fluids? Of crap (yes, to be taken ambiguously)? These can all be spiritual experiences. Am I at potential risk of Satan taking possession of my being if and when I use the restroom? At restaurants, should restroom signs now read, "Satan's Men...

I had an interesting on Friday. I thought I was feeling better (I was wrong), so I headed out for a bit.  This REALLY drunk guy, Dick, asked this woman and I if we believed in God. I was thinking, "Ohhhh crap... Let's not do this."  The lady, Melissa, immediately said, "No." He asked her why and she said because there's no physical proof.  He asked me and I said, "I don't know. I don't believe anyone can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is or isn't a higher power."  I could tell he was bothered by what Melissa and I said, so I just said, "Alright. We have three different perspectives here - an atheist (Melissa), an agnostic (me) and a deist (Dick). Hooray for differences of opinion. Let's drink! Cheers!"  Nope, that didn't work. So Dick started preaching. He was so wasted. He was slurring, repeating himself, etc. He was talking about, "It's all about good and evil. There's good an...

Ever wonder what God's real name is? I do sometimes, because I'm a geek like that. It can't just be "God," right? And if there is an evil being in what we want to refer to as hell, his or her real name can't be just the "Devil," right? That would be like me telling a kid a story about some leader named Marvelos, toppling the evil ruler named Bad. "And King Marvelos went to Ruler Bad and said to him, 'You're bad, and you know it! It's time that you pay for all your wrongdoings!" King Marvelos did just that, defeated the evil ruler and went on to create the world as we see it today. Just look at the spellings. If you add one "o" in God, what do you have? Good. That would make for a catchy phrase or song. Wait a minute! That is a hymn! "God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me." Hey, that's clever. If you sing that enough, it'll be implanted in your brain and when...